Forgetful Love
by FriendsEnthusiast
Summary: A horrible accident causes Ross to lose memory of his friends, family, and loved ones. Will Rachel be able to bring his memories back or will their love be forever forgotten? Originally set in TOW Chandler's Dad. R&R pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Forgetful Love**

 **Hello and welcome to my first Friends' fanfiction. Before I start, I just want to mention that this story is inspired by one of my favourite authors** _ **2good2betrue**_ **and their story** _ **In a Heartbeat**_ **. I will admit that the opening may sound very similar as there really is no way to get around that, but afterwards, everything comes from my own imagination.**

 **I hope you will all enjoy what I'm about to publish as its story concept may go either way. If I have written it well, it could both humorous and heartwarming, but if not, then it could be repetitive and obnoxious. As such, I would ask that you, the readers, provide as much feedback as possible. I love getting reviews and the more critical the better as I will be able to work on those mistakes or change up things to make it work.**

 **Without further ado, I hope you all enjoy** _ **Forgetful Love**_ **.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't know why people put disclaimers. It's obvious they don't own Friends so why is this a thing anyway?**

 **Chapter 1**

The sleek silver Porsche sped along the interstate, blowing past cars and trucks without any signs of slowing down. The person at the wheel, a dirty blonde, 31-year old female laughed in excitement as the tense 32-year old brown haired male sitting next to her clutched onto the passenger seat for dear life.

"Rach! Slow down!" he yelled over the wind, clutching onto his seatbelt as if thinking the speed would blow it right off its hinges.

"Oh would you relax Ross? I've driven before," Rachel smiled as she felt the wind in her hair and the enjoyment of driving after almost 7 years without being behind a wheel. She looked to her right to see an icy cold glare from Ross and inevitably slowed down a bit, although not enough to satisfy.

Ross sighed, realising it was useless arguing with her. He sat back up, hands still clutched to his seatbelt as he looked out the window. Secretly he was praying that they would run out of gas or something so that this nightmare of his would finally end. He couldn't believe he had let her steal the keys from his pocket when he had went to the bathroom and now, as fate would have it, he was stuck in this car ride of hell with her at the wheel.

"Rach, that sign says 100's the speed limit and you're going 120," he commented after seeing the sign speed by as they passed it.

"Oh alright…" she pouted and reluctantly slowed to an even speed of about 110. His constant speed warnings were getting annoying so she decided to start up a conversation. "So, how's your love life been? Been on any dates recently?"

"No," he answered plainly but noticed her smirking in the corner of his eye. He immediately became irritated at her reaction and quickly changed his response. "Um, actually there was this woman I met at the coffee house earlier today. I think I'll give her a call when we get back."

"Oh really?" Rachel asked, knowing very well that it was a lie. "When exactly did you get her number?"

Ross cleared his throat. "This morning, right before we left for this joyride."

"Ah yes, and did you meet this imaginary woman before we went into the coffee house together or after?" Judging by the silent look on his face, she knew she had won. There had been no woman, she had been with him the entire day so far.

"You know what? Enough about me. You probably haven't been on any dates either." He shot back.

"Ha! That's what you think Gellar. Just the other night, I met this really cute guy at the bar and unlike you, I actually got a _real_ number from him."

"You met this guy at the bar?"

"Yes."

"And was he drunk?"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Maybe, so what? At least he wasn't made up in my mind."

An awkward pause ensured her statement as she curiously glanced at him. He wore a blank expression on his face, staring straight ahead as if he was lost in thought. She wondered what he could possibly be thinking that seemed so important.

"I don't think you should call him," he said all of a sudden.

His words cut through her brain as she accidently stepped on the pedal, jerking the car forward.

"What?!"

"I said I don't think you should call him. You never know what you might be getting into," he repeated in a tone that really bothered her.

"Are you telling me that you don't want me to go out with this guy?" she asked forcefully with an irritated tone. She had expected him to get all jealous as he used to. Not all defensive about it.

"No, I'm _suggesting_ you don't go out with him." He answered back with just as much force.

Something about his tone made her temper rise. How can he just sit there all innocent like, and then tell her to just not call this guy without any reason whatsoever? It reminded her of when they had been dating and he had been so possessive about her that it made her feel more like an object than a person.

"Who do you think you are?" she practically yelled at him. "You can't just tell me who I can and cannot date! I'm not some stupid teenager looking to get laid and I certainly don't need you to make my decisions for me!"

"I'm not trying to make your decision for you. I'm just saying that meeting drunk guys at bars is not how you should be looking for someone." He explained in an agitated voice.

"Oh what a load of crap! You know what I think? I think you're just jealous that I can get a date while you don't even have the balls to go up to someone and say 'hi'!"

"That's not at all what's happening here! I'm just trying to-"

"What are you trying to do Ross?!" she asked, cutting him off. "What? Are you trying to look out for me?! Trying to protect me?! Trying to make sure I don't get hurt?! I'll tell you something Ross, if you really believed all that stuff, you wouldn't have slept with that copy slut on our anniversary so don't you go telling me you're _just trying to make sure I don't get hurt_!"

She knew that that was a real cheap shot but he was really getting on her nerves. She didn't understand why he was so precautionary around her. She remembered him doing this exact same thing just a week ago, and then a week before that too. Just the thought of him trying to prevent her from getting a date really pissed her off and she wanted to make it very clear to him that she did not need his help with anything.

Rachel turned completely towards him, taking her hands off the wheel for a moment. She noticed him looking forward with a very agitated look and just that got her temper rising again.

"You know what?! I'm tired of this! I'm tired of being treated like your little girl because news flash, I'm not! So how about you stop pretending like you know what's good for me because you really don't!"

"Rach-"

"Don't interrupt me!" she yelled accusingly, pointing a finger at his face. "I don't need you Ross! I can live perfect fine without you! I don't need you to look out for me! I don't need you to help me! And most of all, I don't need you to protect me from every single little-"

"Rachel!" he exclaimed but it was too late.

The car hit a bump in the road and violently swerved off the highway. It smashed into the guardrail on the side, sending it soaring into the air.

In that split second, Ross acted off instinct. He heard Rachel scream in horror as they plummeted to the ground and immediately only one thought went through him mind.

Protect Rachel.

Ross instinctively took off his seatbelt and threw himself over her, hugging her head and body with his chest right before the car hit the ground and everything became blurry.

The front of the car smashed down onto the hard ground, instantaneously activating the air bags and sending the car rolling down the hill.

The windshield glass shattered and the car crunched against the Earth as it hurtled downwards.

Ross felt his body spin, turn, and move. Pain filled every inch of his body as he tried to focus on the small being beneath him.

The car smashed against a stone and flipped through the air, smashing against the ground once again and deafening his ears from the force.

It kept rolling down the escarpment, treating the two beings inside like beanbags, crushing and destroying everything until it all just stopped. The screaming stopped. The smashing stopped. All was silent.

Ross felt numb, not moving and just letting reality sink in. It had all happened so fast and yet, it had all actually happened. First there was the yelling, then the sudden turn, then screaming, then smashing, then rolling, then pain, then…

Rachel.

His eyes shot open and he gasped for breath. His vision was blurry and he felt weak. There was blood in his mouth, there was blood on his clothes, on the seat, and on her.

His body shook in both pain and terror as he leaned backwards, giving him a better look at her face. He brought his arm forward to move the hair away from her face and immediately a sharp pain ran through his body. He didn't care though, he had to see her.

He brushed the strand of bloodied hair away and gasped when he saw her.

She was still. Unmoving.

There was a gash in her forehead, not too deep but deep enough to worry him. Her eyes were closed and her head hung to the side. He stared at her motionless body, scared, terrified, but most of all saddened.

"Rachel…" he croaked. His voice was weak and unrecognizable. He realised this was because of the immense blood that filled his throat and tried to cough it out but it was too painful.

But the most pain came from seeing her there, not moving, not breathing, just there.

He felt a tear slip down his cheek, or was it blood, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that the person he cared about the most in his life remained motionless beneath him.

He tried to muzzle her with his nose but got no reaction. He tried to feel for any signs of a breath but got no air.

He closed his eyes and squeezed out another tear.

"No… I can't lose you…" he whispered silently. He had to get her out of there.

He reached for the door handle, ignoring the increasing pain that shot up his right arm as he did. He felt it and pushed it open, shivering as the cool air touched his wounds. He didn't care; he had to get her out of there.

He reached for her seatbelt and unbuckled it, carefully placing her head to the side so he could dismount her without moving her too much. As his feet touched the ground, he felt bones crack in multiple different areas. He winced at the unbearable pain that coursed through his body and clenched his teeth, focusing on Rachel rather than the pain. He didn't care; he had to get her out of there.

He reached inside both arms and cradled her, using the rest of his strength just to pull her out of the destroyed car. His right arm brushed the seat and again, an unbelievable amount of pain caused him to shed a tear. He didn't dare look at his arm. He didn't want to know what was causing so much pain. He didn't care; he had to get her out of there.

He took his first step and stumbled, almost dropping her limp body. He knew immediately that his muscles in his left leg have been torn and judging by the discomfort in his ankle, he knew that he had broken a couple bones. He didn't care; he had to get her out of there.

He took a couple more steps forward, each one feeling like a million steps before the next. The world around him began to blur and his head became disoriented as it spun. His arms began to shake from the excruciating pain but he continued to limp forward, focusing only on the small person lying lifeless in his arms.

Eventually his legs couldn't take it and he fell to his knees, hearing another crack and shouting in pain and agony. He felt himself beginning to slip out of consciousness as he peered at Rachel's face one last time, hoping for any signs of life from her. He thought he heard sirens in the distance and tried to look up but the pain was just too much. He kept his head down and stared at Rachel as if she was going to be the last thing he would ever see.

She was so beautiful.

"Please Rachel… don't leave me…" he whispered, feeling the pain taking over and everything becoming limp. He felt blood dripping from his own head and he could no longer hear anything around him. Tears fell from his eyes as he painfully blinking them away just to see Rachel's face one last time. He just wanted her to live; wanted her to survive. He just wanted to see her beautiful eyes and her loving voice one last time.

"Rachel… I… love… you…"

Ross collapsed to the ground, holding her in his arms. He had lost his strength, he could feel nothing else.

He closed his eyes and let the darkness engulf him completely.

…

 **Author's Notes: Yeah, yeah, I know that it's very,** **very** **similar to the one 2good2betrue wrote but honestly there's only one way to write a car crash. Just stick with me and you'll start to see my own implications on this story. I think you guys will really like it.**

 **Hope you enjoyed the first chapter and please review. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Monica paced around the apartment, impatiently tapping her foot on the ground. She crossed her arms and stared at the door for a moment before throwing them in the air in defeat.

"Urggh! Where are they?" she complained, holding an angry look on her face.

"Monica, you have to calm down. They'll be here soon," Chandler comforted form the kitchen, turning back to his crossword puzzle. Secretly he actually hoped they would take longer since that would mean they would miss their flight and he wouldn't have to visit his father in LA. He still couldn't believe Monica had talked him into it and at one point, he even considered calling the wedding off just to delay seeing his father again.

As if she was reading his mind, Monica strolled over and slammed her fist on the table. She was seriously pissed right now and Chandler was just glad it wasn't anything he did.

"Chandler, do you realise if they don't get here soon, we'll miss our flight?"

"Bummer," he stated, tapping his pencil against his chin. "Hey, what's a six-letter word that rhymes with night?"

"Flight!" Monica screamed, turning around as her fiancée cheerfully filled out the last word to his crossword puzzle.

"All done," Chandler said with a smile before meeting Monica's death-filled eyes. "Woah, honey you really have to take a breather. So we miss our plane to visit my dad. We'll just invite that guy from the noodle shop instead."

Monica gave him an irritated look and was about to say something when the door curst open and in came Joey and Phoebe.

"There you are!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry were late. Joey had to stop for a sandwich," Phoebe gleefully explained while Joey licked his lips.

Monica quickly sent Joey an irritated glare but that didn't stop him from enjoying the last little bits of his sandwich that had stuck to his teeth and lips. She groaned in annoyance and slid a hand down her face but shook it off.

"Ok whatever, as long as you're here. Where are Ross and Rachel?"

"Don't know. We haven't seen them all day." Joey answered.

"Yeah, we thought they were already here." Phoebe added.

"Well we thought they were with you guys," Chandler countered, looking equally confused. "Wait, didn't they take the Porsche out for a spin?"

"Yeah but they should have gotten back by now." Monica checked the time on her watch. "It's been hours since they left. Where could they have gone?"

Suddenly Joey started to smile and he chuckled in excitement. The other three looked at him as if he was crazy as he widely gestured towards them with two fingers.

"What are you doing?" Chandler asked at his strange behaviour.

"Don't you see? Ross and Rachel are gone and nowhere to be found! They must've hooked up!"

Phoebe, being one who has always believed in her "lobsters" immediately became giddy as she and Joey began exchanging high-fives. Meanwhile Monica and Chandler merely looked at each other, contemplating if the possibility of Ross and Rachel getting back together is a valid reason for their disappearance.

"Do you think…" Monica began.

Chandler just shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know. They've been on-again off-again so many times it's hard to keep track. Didn't you catch them kissing a couple months ago?"

She snapped her fingers at the remembrance. "I did catch them kissing! Oh my God! They must be hooking up right now!"

Just like that Monica joined Phoebe and Joey as the three of them excitedly celebrated the reunion of Ross and Rachel… again. Chandler just rolled his eyes, not choosing to join in as he had matured from that age, but he too was very happy they were finally together. He stood up and took off his glasses, about to join them in their mini-celebration right as the phone rang.

"Hello, you've reached Monica and Chandler's. What can I do for you?" he asked as he picked up the phone.

"Hi, Chandler I assume? May I speak to Monica Gellar please?" asked a woman on the other end.

"Um, yeah sure." He responded, confused at who would be calling Monica at this time. "Can I ask who's calling?"

"I'm calling from the Metropolitan Hospital Center. May I please speak with Monica, this is very urgent."

"Right, sorry. Just one moment please," he answered, feeling very uneasy. He had a bad feeling about the call and decided to just hand it over to Monica.

"Mon, someone's calling from the hospital and is asking for you," he said, holding out the phone to his soon-to-be wife. Monica stopped what she was doing and walked over to him, taking the phone with a confused look.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Monica Gellar?"

"This is she." She answered, not knowing who was on the other end of the phone.

"Great. Do you by any chance have any relations to Ross Gellar and Rachel Green?"

Monica looked up at her friends who have now stopped and looked at her with a curious look. She, on the other hand, had a sinking feeling in her stomach and instantly became worried when the names of her friends came up.

"Um, yes, Ross is my brother and Rachel is my best friend. Why? Did something happen to them?" she asked with a shaky tone.

"Unfortunately so. I'm sorry to inform you but Ross and Rachel were involved in a car accident and are now being looked after by our emergency medical officers. You are listed as their emergency contacts and I've been instructed to inform you of this news." The lady explained.

The phone trembled in her hand as she thought about what she was being told. Ross and Rachel? In a car accident? What happened? All those thoughts were pushed aside as she realised this must be serious to have to call her and quickly brought the phone back up to her ear.

"Ok thank you for calling. We'll be right there," she said hastily before placing the phone down on the table.

Monica could feel the three sets of eyes on her as she turned around trembling. She was on the verge of tears as she looked down at the ground.

"It's… it's Ross and Rachel. They've been in an accident," she forced out of her. Chandler quickly wrapped her in a hug as she continued. "We've got to get to the hospital."

Joey and Phoebe both wore a worried look and quickly moved from the couch.

"I'll go call a taxi," Joey said, grabbing his jacket and spring out the door.

Phoebe grabbed her jacket too as well as Monica's as she helped Chandler get her out of the apartment. The three of them rushed to grab their things before slamming the door shut behind them. Once downstairs, the four fo them waited for their taxi before rushing off towards the hospital.

…

Crashing, screaming, rolling, then darkness.

Memories of what happened suddenly filled her thoughts as she tried to figure out where she was, or even _what_ she was. Was she alive? How did she make it out? Why was there a throbbing in her head?

All of a sudden, her eyes shot open and were met with a blinding light. She gasped and squirmed, trying to get away from the light as it came closer.

"Shh, calm down, that's it," she heard a relaxing voice from behind the light. She decided to listen to it and calmed her breathing, allowing her eyes to fixate on the light as it moved closer.

"There you go. Focus on the light. Follow it with your eyes." The voice said. She did what she was told, following the light up, down, left and right before it disappeared.

As the light was lowered from her sight, she saw a doctor with black jet hair peering at her at an angle. He wore a concerned expression on his face but softened when he saw that she was conscious and looking around the room.

"Do you know your name?" he asked.

"Rachel Green."

"Good, do you know where you are?"

Rachel looked around the room, spotting different tools and machines that were very familiar. Even with a small headache, there was no question of where she was as she had been to plenty of these places because of her father's work.

"I'm in a hospital," she answered, looking down at the sheets she was covered in. "Lying on a medical berth."

The doctor smiled and nodded, writing something down on his clip board. He looked back at Rachel who was now eyeing him with a curious look.

"Looks like everything checks out to be ok. Do you remember what happened and why you're here?"

She thought for a moment, trying to put an order to all the memories that were flooding her thoughts. "I was driving down the interstate, with a friend, and then we hit a bump and swerved off the road. We crashed into something and flipped into the air. I screamed, then everything went black and now here I am, waking up in a hospital."

"That's right. You banged your head pretty hard and it knocked you out for a few hours. We had to give you a few stitches but you should be fine. You'll experience small headaches from the concussion you received but that's normal in these circumstances."

Rachel nodded as the doctor tapped his clipboard. Something caught his eye and he raised an eyebrow in curiousness. "Hmm, that's strange…"

"What is?" she panicked.

"No, no, no, there's nothing to worry about Rachel," he explained. "In fact, you should be very grateful. Reading your diagnostics, it seems like the concussion is the only thing you'll be suffering from. No broken bones, no torn muscles, nothing. It's a miracle that you made it out in such a healthy condition. Even the impact from the air bag should have caused a muscle spasm in your neck. Are you sure nothing else happened before you crashed?"

Rachel sighed, relieved that there was nothing wrong with her but thought about the doctor's question. She dug deeper into her memories, remembering her yelling at Ross and taking her hands off the wheel. She remembered screaming as the car flipped into the air.

But then she remembered feeling warm, comfortable even. As if she was in a place she was meant to be for a while now but have yet to find until that very moment. She had felt safe, protected, and she wondered why.

All of a sudden, she remembered and let out a gasp as she remembered what had happened. "R-Ross, when we were in the air, h-he had draped his body onto mine. I-I remember being hugged tightly before everything went black."

The doctor's calm expression turned into a worried frown as he flipped a page on the clipboard and scribbled something down. "That explains it…" he mumbled, adding something else onto the papers.

"Doctor, is-is he alright?" she asked with a shaky tone, immediately spotting his change of expression.

The doctor didn't answer; instead he stood up and walked towards the door, keeping his eye sight away from his patient's.

"You're friend will be here soon," he said before quickly leaving the room.

Rachel sat there in the lonely room, both scared and worried for Ross. Where was he? What happened to him? And most importantly, was he ok? She had noticed the doctor avoid answering her question about his condition that worried her beyond belief. All she wanted to know if he was ok.

She thought back to what started all of it; her yelling at Ross for being so protective of her. She remembered yelling at him and telling him to stop caring and protecting her. She had been angry and frustrated which had led to the car crashing onto the side. And then…

He had protected her.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she realised the reality of the situation. Even after she had yelled at him, he had still gone out of his way for her safety.

Rachel placed her head in her hands, regretting every word she had said before the accident. If she hadn't had gotten so angry at nothing, they wouldn't have gotten into the accident in the first place. More so than that, she wanted to tell Ross that she didn't mean any of those words. Truth be told, his kindness and affection towards her is one of the many things she loves about him. He never ceased to put his friends before himself, specifically her, and just that thought melted her heart in gratitude and warmth. Ross had always treated her as if she was a princess, whether they were dating or not, and now, she had so much more to thank for protecting her.

She sighed as she closed her eyes and leaned back, resting against her pillows. Her head still spun from the concussion but there was only one thought on her mind at the moment, and that was of Ross. There was a feeling of gratitude, yet there was also something else. A feeling of longing compassion, and dare her say it, love. She just wanted to be wrapped in his arms again, to feel his powerful body pressed against hers, to feel safe, comfortable, and protected. There was only one man in the world that has ever made her feel that way, and it was him. And now, sitting in the empty hospital room with just herself and her thoughts, she would do anything to have him there with her.

…

The double doors to the hospital burst open as the four friends rushed in, practically trampling over each other as they all reached the counter at the same time. The nurse behind the counter backed up, unsure of what to do as the four people in front of her talked so fast as if the world was about to end.

"People, please. This is a hospital." The nurse warned, quieting them down. "Now what can I do for you?"

"I'm Monica Gellar here to see Ross Gellar and Rachel Green," Monica said in a panicked tone. "I got a call saying they were in a car accident. Please, where can we find them?"

Before the nurse could answer, a doctor holding a clipboard beneath his arm walked over and placed his hand on the counter. He shot the nurse a small smile letting her sigh in relief.

"I'll take it from here Joanne," he said, turning towards the four people next to him. He extended a hand to Monica as he introduced himself. "Hello, I'm Doctor Telemann. I've been looking after Rachel and Ross for the past hour so please; any questions should be directed to me."

"What happened?" Monica blurted out, still shaking the man's hand.

"Monica Gellar I presume? Please, you must calm down as that attitude will neither help you, nor the patients in the building." Doctor Telemann said in a relaxed tone, gesturing the group to take a seat.

The four of them quietly obliged, sitting down with very concerned looks as the doctor flipped through the pages on his clipboard.

"To answer your question, Ross and Rachel were involved in a car accident where the car had swerved off road and down an escarpment. When paramedics had arrived on the scene, both Ross and Rachel were located a few feet away from the car, severely injured and unconscious." Monica gasped as Chandler rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm her down. Phoebe and Joey covered their mouths, also not believing what they were being told.

"Are they, are they…" Joey muttered, unable to find the right words.

"If you're asking if they're dead, no." Doctor Telemann answered blankly.

"So what are the extents of their injuries doctor?" Chandler asked.

"Well, Rachel has surprisingly suffered no real injuries aside from a mild concussion from banging her head. We stitched up the little cut on her forehead but other than that, she is perfectly healthy and fine." The group sighed in relief hearing that Rachel was ok. "She's extremely lucky to leave with just a concussion as most severe car accidents end with far more serious injuries. She seems to have taken the lesser of the injuries between the two and should be able to return home."

The doctor's last sentence brought great worry onto the four friends' faces. All concern immediately went to Ross as none of them wanted to know about how badly he had been hurt.

"A-And my brother, R-Ross?" Monica asked in almost a whisper, finding only the courage to ask through worry and concern.

Doctor Telemann's face also dropped as he flipped over a page and scanned through it. His tone became serious, almost in regret and sorrow, as he turned to the group with a sad look.

"Ross… was not so lucky. He was in critical condition when he was found and was immediately sent to the emergency room for treatment." Monica gasped again, fighting back tears that began welling up in her eyes. This time she was not comforted by Chandler as he too retaliated in shock.

"S-So what are his injuries?" he stammered.

"I'm sorry to say that his injuries are very severe. He's suffering from a fractured skull, which is out biggest concern because it could lead to brain damage. The muscles in his left leg have been completely torn as his tibia and fibula have been shattered. He's also got multiple broken and fractured bones including a ruptured spinal cord, 3 broken ribs, and open wounds on his right arm and right ankle."

"O-Open wound?" Joey asked, holding onto Phoebe for support as she shuddered.

"Yes, that's when the bone punctures the skin." The doctor explained, resulting in Joey turning around and gagging.

"Oh my God…" Monica exclaimed, tears rushing down her face at the thought of how much pain her brother must be going through. Chandler quickly wrapped an arm around his fiancée's shoulders, rocking her gently as he held back his own tears.

"Shh, it's ok. He'll get through it… we'll get through it…" He then turned to face the doctor who wore a blank expression on his face. "Can we see them?"

"Ross is still in surgery but Rachel is open to visitors. In fact, she has already woken up." Doctor Telemann responded, writing down a room number and handing it to Chandler. "I advise to avoid loud or sudden noises. Even with a mild concussion, loud sounds can make her very uncomfortable and result in severe headaches. I'll be joining you in her room shortly."

"Thank you doctor," Chandler said as he grabbed the slip of paper and helped Monica to her feet.

Quietly the four friends walked down the hallways of the hospital.

…

A quiet knock on her door brought her out of her slumber as her eyes shot open to see four familiar faces peek into the room. One by one, they piled in, gently closing the door behind them and joining her at her bedside.

"Hey you guys," Rachel said quietly, happy that she will no longer be alone in these stressful times.

"We're so glad you're ok," Monica said, giving her a big hug. The other friends leaned in and provided their own little greeting as they hugged her to show their concern.

"Oh my God, Rachel your head!" Phoebe exclaimed in quiet tone.

"Oh this?" She moved some hair to reveal the stitches on her forehead. "It hurts a bit but the doctor said it's nothing serious."

"Rachel what happened? Apparently you were in a car accident or something?" Monica asked. The subject brought dropped her face into a saddened look as she shifted her gaze to her bed sheets.

"It's all my fault…" she whispered in an almost inaudible voice.

"What?"

"It's all my fault, ok?" She said louder, tears appearing in her eyes. "We were, we were driving down the interstate and then Ross said something that got me really angry. I started yelling at him and took my hands off the wheel for a moment. We hit a bump and the car swerved off the road and rolled down an escarpment. Mon, it's all my fault!"

Tears began falling down her cheek as Monica reached over and pulled her into another embrace, gently stroking her hair to calm her down.

"It's ok, it's ok. As long as you're ok."

Rachel sniffled and pulled away, looking her right in the eyes. "How is he?"

"Who?" she responded nervously.

"Ross, how is he. Please tell me Mon, no matter who I ask, the doctors won't tell me."

Monica herself began to tear up as she looked at the others for help. She quickly moved from the bedside, standing next to Chandler and burying her face into his chest. Chandler looked at Rachel devastated expression and forced himself to tell her the truth.

"He's not doing well." He revealed and Rachel gasped as more tears slid down her face. "The doctors… the doctors said that his injuries are severe and that he needed immediate medical treatment."

Rachel began crying even more and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head as if it was all a dream. She wished it was all a dream. This living nightmare was killing her from the inside and she just wanted it to end.

"No, no, no, no, no…" She repeated multiple times through her sobs as the others looked on with sympathetic expressions. "It's all my fault! He protected me! He… he sacrificed himself for me..."

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

"In the car… in the car when we were about to hit the ground, he… he draped his body over mine and hugged me tightly. He protected me… even after I yelled at him not to… he still protected me…" She explained before breaking down at the end.

The others looked at her in shock and bewilderment at what they had just heard. If what Ross did was true, then that would explain the injury difference between him and Rachel. They just couldn't believe Ross would do something so heroic as to use his own body to protect someone else. But it was Ross, and it was Rachel, and the four of them knew that he would do anything to protect her from harm.

At that moment, Doctor Telemann re-entered the room, reading over the paper on his clipboard. He immediately sensed the tension in the room and quietly waited off to the side for things to cool down. As Rachel's tears slowed, he cleared his throat, getting their attention.

"Rachel, your tests are in and it seems you are clear to go. Aside from the concussion, your body is in good health with no physical injuries to date. I suggest avoiding any physical activities for the next few days and remaining in bed to rest. I'll have the nurse write you a doctor's note for your work."

Rachel would have responded if not for her tears and lump in her throat. Monica tapped her legged, telling her it's ok, and turned to the doctor.

"Thank you Doctor Telemann."

He nodded and began filing through the papers on his clipboard. All of a sudden, loud urgent knocks were heard, causing Rachel to cover her ears in pain. Doctor Telemann immediately went to the door to see who it was.

Rachel peered up to see another doctor outside with a very worried look on his face. He whispered something into Doctor Telemann's ear as a group of doctors and nurses ran down the hallway behind him, wheeling machinery and stands.

"Oh dear…" Doctor Telemann whispered and the other doctor nodded, turning and running down the hall where everyone else seems to be going. Doctor Telemann turned around, revealing a very concerned yet sympathetic look as he peered at the group in the room.

"What? What's going on?" Monica questioned, hearing shouting outside.

The doctor shifted his gaze towards the floor before returning his eyes back onto hers.

"It's about Ross…

… he's fallen into a coma."

…

The room froze as if it were a tableau, all five of them paralyzed and unmoving from the doctor's words.

"... he's fallen into a coma."

"No…" Rachel whimpered in an almost inaudible tone. She covered her mouth with her hands, eyes widened and wet with tears. She wanted to cry, let out everything inside of her, but no amount of tears could even compare to the pain and regret she felt. She could have sworn the room heard her heart shatter into a million pieces.

The rest of the room wasn't too far off of her reaction. Monica buried her face into Chandler's arm and even the always reliable Phoebe had gotten teary-eyed. The guys were more shocked if anything but it was pretty clear they were holding in their own tears to be strong for the girls.

"I'm truly sorry," Doctor Telemann comforted. "There's nothing more we can do for a patient when they fall into a coma."

The only response he got was a simple nod from Chandler who closed his own eyes and rested his chin on her head. Rachel saw this and peered up at them, noticing the position they held each other in. They were comforting each other, holding onto each other while at the same time, showing they would never be apart… just as she and Ross had once embraced each other.

Rachel broke down once again, covering her face with her hands and trying desperately hard to limit her sobs. How did she end up in this position in life? How did _they_ end up in this position? She once had it all; job security, a healthy life, amazing friends, and most of all, a loving and caring boyfriend. How did that all turn to dust so quickly that she found herself waking up in a hospital room?

She missed him, plain and simple. She missed him, but not just physically but emotionally and mentally. She missed waking up in his arms, and going to sleep knowing he'd be there next to her. She missed his gentle kisses that left her breathless every time, and the comfort of his arms when she needed comfort. She missed his loving and caring attitude towards her, giving her whatever she wanted just because she was her. She missed loving him, but most of all, she missed being loved by him.

And now, that might all come to an end.

The reality of everything struck her so hard that she stopped crying to feel the pain deepen itself into her. He had fallen into a coma and she knew all too well from her daddy's work that there was a very high chance that a patient may never wake from a coma. She shuddered from both the shock and the pain as the thought of living on without him could eventually be a high possibility. And to make things worse, she knew this was all her fault.

It had been the hateful words she had said in the car that caused all of this. It was because of her incompetence and ungratefulness that led them to this situation. She was mad, angry, even furious, but most of all blind that someone who has had so much history with her would still care for her as he did, even going as far as sacrificing himself for her. She had taken him for granted, and now, she was paying the ultimate price. Worst of all, she didn't mean any of those words, yet, those words may be the last things he will ever hear from her again.

All of a sudden, her mind focused on one thing and one thing only. She forgot about everything, the past, the hurt, and the pain from before as none of it compared to how she felt right now. She no longer thought of their history; the list, the jealousy and possessiveness, the break up, the letter, London, Vegas, the dunk marriage, the divorce. None of that mattered anymore, and if anything, what he had done for her today makes up for every pain and hurt he's caused her in the past. She forgave him, and then some, knowing that she couldn't hide her feelings any longer.

She had to see him.

With only one thing on her mind, she turned and placed both feet on the floor, feeling her bare feet touch the floor and send shivers up her spine. To everyone's surprise, she got up, perhaps a little too fast as her head began to spin from the concussion and the head rush, but she still managed to stumble towards the door way.

"Rachel, where are you going?" Phoebe asked.

"I need to go see him." She responded with wet eyes.

"Rachel, you must return to your bed." Doctor Telemann said, holding the door shut as she reached for the knob. "In your condition, your headache will only get-"

"I need to go see him!" she repeated even louder, this time as tears slid down her cheek and fell to the floor.

As a doctor, it is important that a patient's well-being is treated as their number one priority, however, prioritized even before that is being human, meaning having emotional sentiment. One look into Rachel's teary eyes and Doctor Telemann knew that this man was not just any man to her, that she held him very close to her heart in a way that separated him from all other men on this world. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and removed his hand from the door.

Rachel sent him a thankful smile before swinging the door open and sprinting down the hallway, her friends right on her trail with Doctor Telemann not too far behind. She ignored the pulsating pain in her head as her bare feet hit the cold metal floor step after step. Eventually she burst through a set of double doors, pushing past a surprised group of doctors until her eyes found him and she gasped at the sight before her.

It was worse than she had imagined.

Ross lay there unconsciously on the medical berth, unmoving and void of life. He was practically in a full-body cast; his entire chest wrapped up and his right arm and left leg elevated in full, hard casts. His head was also wrapped tightly with gauze tape, ending right above his eyebrows, revealing his cut and battered face. He had been hooked up to life support a moment before she had entered but seeing the tubes connecting him to the machines just to keep him alive killed her on the inside. She immediately ran to his bedside, collapsing to her knees as she wept openly into her hands.

A moment later, her friends arrived through the doors as well, freezing at the sight of Ross' condition but staying back to allow her some space. Doctor Telemann appeared from behind the group of friends, earning confused looks from the other doctors inside. He merely nodded after seeing Ross was properly stabilized, dismissing them all as he remained with the group of four friends as Rachel cried her heart out before them.

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…" she wept, rocking back and forth on her knees. She looked up and grabbed his left hand, one of the only parts of his body not wrapped up in a cast. Even so, however, she noticed the deep gashes in his left arm, probably due to the shattered glass, and gently traced it with her delicate fingers as tears dripped onto the bed sheet.

"…This is all my fault… I'm-I'm sorry for everything… Sorry for what I said earlier…" she cried, holding his left hand up to her cheek. "I do… I do want you to protect me… I-I do want you to look after me… I do want you to care for me and love me how you've always shown before…"

She dropped his arm and buried her face into her hands. She has never cried this hard in her life, yet here she was, given a proper reason to do so. Her friends stood silently off to the side, tearing up at the scene before them but neither dared to make any movements. They were giving her her time alone and would be there for comfort afterwards.

"Please, Ross, wake up…" Rachel begged, clutching onto his arm again. "…please… don't leave me… don't leave me… fight it, fight it for everyone… fight it for me…"

She peered up, hoping maybe by some miracle, he had heard her words and had woken up. Her heart sunk when she saw his unchanged face, deep in a sleep that he may never wake up from yet looking so peaceful and relaxed. She wiped the tears from her eyes, allowing her to see clearly for a moment as she stared at his face. She wanted so badly to be able to curl up next to him and lay her head against his chest, to kiss his soft lips that make her feel like the only woman in the world and to feel his arms protectively wrapped around her. But as much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't.

"Please don't leave me… please…" she begged one more time in a soft voice. "…I… I love you… I love you and want to be with you Ross… please wake up… please… for me… for _us_ …"

As the last word left her mouth, she buried her face into his arm, crying against his skin and never wanting to let go. Her heart officially belonged to him and she knew that she would never find another man who she loves as much as this one. She cried, hoping that he could hear her sorrow and wake up just to protect her from the evils of life, to provide safety and shelter that only he could give.

She cried, hoping that he could wake up and share their love with her.

…

 **Author's Note: If you've already read the summary, then you probably already know what will happen to Ross. I at least attempted to give you a little scare with his possible death and an emotional scene. Either way, I hope you liked it.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has followed this story so far and I am very grateful for the amount of views on the opening chapter. It's no secret that the Friends community is dead, but I hope that perhaps we can bring back the amazing authors who have shared their Ross and Rachel stories with the world. Feel free to leave a review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Author's Note: Another little disclaimer, while I typically like to keep my stories as authentic as possible, my knowledge on hospitals and coma treatment is extremely limited. I'm pretty much making this up as I go as long as it kind of makes sense so I'd like to apologize in advance if I get any medical treatment/terms wrong.**

 _Three months later…_

All was quiet in the silent hospital room. The afternoon sun shone through the small window, landing on the unmoving body lying in the bed. A small beep sounded every so often from the machinery, sending constant updates to the hospital's system files as it monitored his vitals and blood.

A moment later, the door cracked open and in walked a young woman, flowers in her hand and heels tapping the floor as she entered. She stared at the lifeless body, hoping for any signs of change that may have happened but sighed in disappointment when she saw none. She turned around and closed the door before walking over to the bedside.

"Hi, it's me," Rachel said softly, looking at Ross peaceful face as he slept. "Sorry I didn't come yesterday night or this morning. Ralph Lauren has me attending these boring meetings where we don't even talk about fashion."

She stared at him again, spending the time to just enjoy the silence with him, even though she knew he couldn't do the same. Today marked the third month he's been in the hospital and she's made it routine to always come by and visit him. On a normal day, she'd come by in the morning before work, again afterwards, and a final time just to say good night to him. She always spoke to him as if he wasn't in a coma. It just felt so natural for her to do so and it helped the pain knowing that she could still talk to him, even though he wouldn't respond.

"I brought you some flowers," She said, holding out the bouquet of lilies she had brought with her and placing it in the vast next to his bedside. "I know lilies aren't your favourite, they're mine, but you never seemed to have a problem with them. Think of it as a way to remember me by."

Rachel took a seat on the chair next to the bed and grabbed his left hand, gently stroking it as she placed it on top of her own. Long has the full-body casts and slings been removed as by this time, most of his major injuries have been healed. If it weren't for the IV therapy, he would look like someone who was merely taking a quiet nap. Even his hair and face has been properly cut and shaven, curtsey of Monica and Phoebe when they had visited a few days ago. If anything, he actually looked quiet handsome with his new look.

Sighing, she reached over and gently stroked his small stubble chin, looking at him with loving, yet sympathetic eyes. She wanted so badly to wake up, for it to turn out that he was just sleeping and isn't really in a coma. She closed her eyes, praying that maybe a miracle would happen but when they reopened, she saw that none of her wishes had come true. Sighing again, she stopped caressing his face and went back to his hand, squeezing it tight for her own strength.

"So I went to a bar yesterday night after my meeting," she started, chuckling nervously at the memory. "I was actually hit on by another buzzed guy but I decided to go with your advice and stay away from him. Good thing I did because he fainted a few minutes later and they had to carry him out…"

She tilted her head to the side as if waiting for a response, but of course, she didn't get any. She shook her head and laughed again, this time with more of a sad tone than anything.

"Even when you're not around, you're still looking out for me…" Her voice broke down a bit as a painful memory entered her mind. She shifted her gaze back onto his sleeping form, pulling back tears as she played that memory through her head.

"…I miss you…" She kind of blurted out softly before a single tear rolled down her face.

She thought back to the memory that has been haunting her for the past few days. It had been about two weeks ago when she was over at Monica's and the phone rang. After a brief conversation with whoever was on the line, she had turned back to her with a shocked and scared look. Apparently it she had just talked with one of the doctors at the hospital and he had explained that aside from his physical injuries, there has yet to be any progress on Ross' coma or his mental status. He had also warned that if as the third month of his recuperation came around and he still doesn't show any signs of change, they may consider pulling the plug as it is extremely costly to keep him on life support and eventually, the insurance company will stop paying for his treatment.

At this, Rachel had burst into tears, violently shaking Monica by the shoulders and practically yelling at her to not go with it. She would go all the way with this, regardless of how long it took, and if necessary, she would even pull out her own money just to keep him on life support. She would not allow his sacrifice to go to a waste and would do anything for the hospital to continue treating him if they chose to pull the plug. She would even go to her daddy for help, knowing all too well about his disliking to him, but she was determined to not lose him.

Even so, the thought of pulling the plug scared her immensely as she would be losing the most important person in her life, and as each day goes by without any improvement to his condition, the higher the chance of receiving the dreadful phone call, and that was what scared her.

She wouldn't let it happen, no, _couldn't_ let it happen. Not after everything he's done for her. Not after she realised her true feelings towards him. She just couldn't let it happen…

"Wake up Ross, please… you have to…" she begged softly as she reached over and cupped his face in her hands. "I can't live without you, I just can't. These three months have been the worst three months of my life… please… I need to hear your voice… I need to look into those eyes… I love you Ross; you can't leave me without knowing that I love you…"

With more tears streaming down her face, she buried her head onto his chest and sobbed quietly, knowing that each passing day may be her last with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly and never wanting to let go. Minutes passed, maybe even an hour before the tears finally stopped coming and she just lay on the bed with him. She felt comfortable and safe, she felt at home.

Knowing that she couldn't stay all night, even though she desperately wanted to, she eventually forced herself up and wiped her face with a tissue. She stood up and looked at him, sadness and regret being the most substantial emotions at the moment. Silently, she looked around the room to make sure they were alone before leaning in and placing a gently kiss on his lips. She allowed her lips to linger on his, enjoying the short sensation of love being transferred from her to him before slowly pulling away. She sensually stroked his cheek with the pad of her thumb, staring at his closed eyelids and hoping that they may pop open to reveal the eyes she's longed for too long.

"I love you... please come back to me," she whispered silently before sadly straightening back up. She grabbed her things from the chair and looked at him again, her eyes longing for his but once again coming to a disappointment.

She sighed and headed for the door, looking back one more time to take in the scene before her. She knew she'd be back tomorrow morning, and maybe even tonight if nothing comes up, but every time she leaves the room, she feels like she leaves behind a part of herself. Now, it was coming to the end and one day, she may come into the room and no longer find him resting there, and just the thought of that made her want to stay here with him and never leave.

She shut her eyes and squeezed out a single tear, allowing it to trickle down her cheek before falling to the ground. Using the sleeve of her arm, she wiped away the wet trail it had left, clearing the moisture from her eyes, and prepared to leave the hospital room. She took a deep breath, regained her composure and headed for the door.

But as her hand touched the door know, she heard something that made her heart stop.

It was a groan. A soft, almost inaudible groan, but a groan nonetheless, and more importantly, a groan that did not come from her mouth.

Shocked, excited, and maybe even a little scared, Rachel hesitated from turning around, thinking that maybe her imagination was playing a cruel joke on her, however when she heard another soft groan, she knew that her wishes have been answered.

Spinning around, she began to cry, seeing his eyes flutter open and his head turn around to look at his surroundings.

"Oh my God," She said in a gasp, covering her mouth with her hands and tears of happiness, joy, and relief falling from her face. She couldn't believe it. It was him. It was really him. He was awake, he was moving, he was _breathing_. It was a miracle, and yet, it was a reality and she couldn't be more overjoyed.

And then, their eyes met.

…

First, there was darkness.

Then, there was light.

As his eyes slowly opened, the world hit him all at once. Light shone into his eyes, momentarily blinding him and piercing the three-month shroud of darkness that has resided there. His body felt weak, almost frail-like, his arms and legs feeling as if they weighed hundreds of pounds and his spine sending unusual waves of slight pain. The back of his head throbbed and he groaned as he tried to adjust to the feelings of his body.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, letting everything settle in before opening them back up, blinking a few times to get used to the sunlight from a nearby window. He let out another groan as he brought a hand to his face, his thoughts still jumbled up and waiting until they all settle down. There was a ringing in his ears, deafening him as he tried to concentrate on making the headache stop but as moments passed by, he gave up and brought his hand back down.

As soon as his hand touched the sheets, he flinched; startled at the soft material he was covered in. All of a sudden, reality hit him all at once and a million questions filled his thoughts. What happened? Where was he? _Who_ was he?

His memories were nothing more than a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. His eyes wandered the room, hoping to get an answer for all his questions. He noticed the white counters, the laid out medical tools, and was even startled to see himself hooked up to a machine via tubes that ran into his veins.

After another moment of looking around, he determined that he was in a hospital. Yes, a hospital: a place where you go when you get injured. He didn't know how he knew that, he just knew. He didn't question his existing knowledge of the subject, but instead questioned the new questions that had arisen. Why was he in a hospital? Was he injured in some way? What had happened to him?

Then, as his eyes continued to wander across the room, they landed on something that literally took his breath away. A woman, no, the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, stood in front of his bed. Her beauty was indescribable, like an angel sent down from the heavens. Her long dirty blonde strands of hair glistened in the sunlight. Her figure, amazingly curved and fit, gave her that hour glass look and made his heart start pounding inside of his chest. Her eyes, like two breathtaking seas of blue locked onto his as he could do nothing but stare back at this incredibly gorgeous woman in front of him.

He noticed the tears sliding down her cheek and her hands covering her mouth and he wondered why she was crying. He hoped he had done nothing to upset her as he would never do anything to hurt someone as beautiful as her, yet the look in her eyes suggested that they weren't tears of pain but rather tears of happiness. Had he known her before? Or maybe she knew him from somewhere. As his eyes looked her over again, he began to feel a sense of familiarity but his memories came up as a blank. He knew that he knew this woman from somewhere, but from where?

He watched this beautiful unknown woman as she first cried a little more, and then began to run around the room. The ringing in his ears cleared for a moment to hear her open the door and yell out into the hallway, screaming something on the lines of "DOCTOR, DOCTOR!" and "HE'S AWAKE!" She then proceeded to rapidly removing her cell phone from her purse, carelessly throwing it onto the counter as she punched a number and held the phone up to her ear. A moment later, she began yelling into the phone with tears still streaming down her face but with a huge smile on her face. He smiled back, seeing that this gorgeous woman was happy and was extremely surprised when she launched herself onto him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's really you… I missed you so much…" she cried happily into his shoulder as he just awkwardly looked down at the woman who has thrown herself onto him. He couldn't help but smell her luscious hair, the scent of fresh coconut filing his nostrils as another feeling of familiarity overcame him. Who was this woman? Who was _he_? If he wasn't so shocked from everything that's been going on, he'd probably be asking this woman for some answers but as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her small body, a feeling inside of him told him that he had longed for this.

Moments passed and judging by the continuous flow of tears into his shoulders, the unknown woman in his arms didn't seem to want go any time soon. He gently patted her back, not quite sure of what else to do and also because of the weakness in his arms, the only thing he could do.

Another minute went by and all of a sudden, the door swung open and a single male doctor walked in, his initial expression showing that he was startled at the scene before him but smiled warmly soon afterwards. The doctor slowly walked over to the side of the bed, not wanting to disturb the embrace but not having to wait too long as the woman sensed his presence and pulled herself off of him. She looked him in the eyes one more time, coving her mouth with her hands as she stood up and headed back to her spot at the foot of his bed. He didn't know why but now that he wasn't holding her, he felt the feeling of loss but shook it off soon after when the doctor pulled up a chair and sat down next to him.

"So it's true, you have woken up." The doctor smiled as he grabbed a clipboard. "How are you feeling Ross?"

Ross. That was his name. It did sound familiar and felt like something he would call himself. Ross…

"I, uh, I got this throbbing pain in the back of my head," he responded, rubbing his hand along the area. The doctor took a look and wrote something down on the clipboard and proceeded to ask if there was anything else that felt different. Aside from the weakness he felt all over, Ross just shook his head and the doctor wrote that down too.

"Well if you're experiencing a headache, you might have hit your head hard to cause that obscurity. Aside from that, the weakness is normal as you haven't been up and about for about three months now."

 _Three months?_ He asked himself. Had he really been out for that long?

"Anyways, I'm Doctor Telemann; the doctor who has been looking after you since you were first transferred here." The doctor introduced with a friendly smile. "Do you remember your name?"

"Yeah, uh… Ross," he answered and Doctor Telemann gave him a strange look.

"Did you actually remember that or did you just remember what a called you a moment ago?"

"A little bit of both," he answered truthfully. The doctor's smile faded slightly.

"Do you remember your last name?"

"I think so… Ross… Ross… Ross Gellar! Yeah, I'm Ross Gellar!"

Doctor Telemann merely nodded. "Yes, that's correct. You do seem to remember your basic information but with a little trouble," he wrote down on the clipboard. "Do you know what city you live in?"

"New York."

"State and country?"

"Manhattan, United States."

The doctor's smile returned as he continued. "Do you recall your occupation?"

"I'm a paleontologist working as a college professor at NYU." He had no idea how he knew this but it all just seemed to leave his mouth off of instinct. Judging by the look on the doctor's face, he guessed that he was saying the right stuff. At least he was learning a bit about himself while he was at it.

"Excellent. Now do you know where you are now?"

"In a hospital."

"And do you know why you are here?"

"I-…" he cut himself off, realising that he did not know the answer to that. He tried to search his memories, hoping to find something kind of reminisce that may help him remember how he came to wake up here, but try as he might, he just couldn't remember anything. "No, I… I don't' remember how I got here or why I'm here." He answered truthfully and immediately regretted it as he saw Doctor Telemann frown. When he looked over to the beautiful woman who had been watching the whole scene play out, he was surprised to see a worried expression replace her once happy and joyful one.

The doctor scribbled something onto the clipboard and then began flipping through some pages. He wrote something else down and turned to him with a curious, yet also worried look.

"Ross, are you sure you don't remember anything?" he asked with a serious tone.

"No."

"Well, what was the last thing you remember?"

Ross thought for a moment. "I… I really don't know. Everything's so messed up, it's hard to put an order to it."

Doctor Telemann flipped through the pages again before turning to him and looking him right in the eye.

"Ross, are you married?"

"No."

"Have you ever been married?"

He paused. "No, I don't think so."

Ross noticed Doctor Telemann turn to Rachel who shared the same worried and scared look. She had long since stopped crying but he could tell that as he kept answering these questions wrong, her eyes began to moisten.

"What about family members? Do you remember who you had living with you while growing up?"

"Of course, I had a mother, a father, and… and, uh… I think I had a sibling. A sister?" he answered, practically asking the last bit. The doctor nodded and scribbled something down.

"That's correct. Do you remember their names?"

"Uh… um… Mr. and Mrs. Gellar?" he responded, not being able to remember them. Why couldn't he remember his own parents names?

"Oh no…" Doctor Telemann silently gasped and quickly wrote something down on the clipboard. Ross looked over to the woman who had now come closer and was standing next to the doctor. Her eyes were wet and a tear slid down her face as she looked over his shoulder at what he was writing. Was he the one who was causing her to cry?

"Ross, what is your sister's legal name?" the doctor asked and in urgent and hasty tone. He felt the pair of eyes on him which only made him feel pressured and nervous. Was it a trick question? Maybe she was married, which was why he was asking for her "legal" name. Or maybe it was just a way to express the question differently. Ross thought long and hard but after a few minutes, he really couldn't think of anything.

"No." he reluctantly answered and the woman stifled a gasp. Doctor Telemann's eyes widened and hastily wrote something down before turning his chair slightly and pointing at the woman.

"Do you remember who this is?" he asked and Ross could tell this was pretty much a last ditch effort of a question.

He looked at the woman long and hard, determined to try to put a name to that face. She was beautiful, extremely beautiful. He truly believed that she could be one of the most beautiful woman on the planet. Everything was perfect about her and he so wished that he could remember who she was. He locked eyes with her and tried to search them for an answer, however after a moment, she realised what he was doing and began crying again, only this time, they were not tears of happiness.

 _No, don't cry. Please don't cry._ He begged sub-consciously. He hated to see this utterly gorgeous woman cry, and yet here she was, an angel of a person bawling her eyes out because he couldn't remember her name. Why couldn't he remember who she was? She felt so familiar. He had even felt the connection they shared during their embrace so he knew that they had a relationship that went further from just knowing each other. However as much as he tried and as much as he wanted to remember, none of his memories gave him any indication of who she was or his history with her.

"Ross? Who is this woman?" Doctor Telemann repeated but he knew he already had his answer.

Ross shifted his gaze back to the woman, his eyes telling her that he was sorry but the rest of him telling her he just couldn't remember, and knowing this, she trembled in tears and looked at him with devastated eyes.

"I don't know…"

…

The double doors to the hospital burst open, startling everyone inside as four adults ran in, scrambling and practically trampling over each other. And just like three months ago, the four of them charged to the front desk, yelling and shouting over each other as the nurse at the counter just backed away with widened eyes.

Funnily enough, this was the same nurse that had dealt with them a few months ago and as soon as she noticed it was the same group of people, she cleared her throat and raised her hand, quieting all four of them down in a surprisingly commanding fashion. She smiled, motioning towards a sign sitting on the counter that read "This Is A Hospital" and saw the four embarrassed looks on each of their faces as they too remembered her using those exact words. Then, without giving a second look, she pointed with her other hand at an opposite direction and the four friends followed her gaze.

Their eyes led to an empty sitting area, that is, empty all except one seat. And in that seat sat a familiar little figure, bent over trembling and sobbing openly into her hands. Realising who it was, the four of them rushed over quickly, bending down and surrounding her in an effort to comfort her.

"Rachel we got your call," Monica said in a worried look as she rubbed her friend's back. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Oh Monica, its terrible…" Rachel bawled and threw herself into Monica's arms. Startled, she embraced the hug, knowing Rachel only ever gets this affectionate when something was bothering her. "...He's awake…"

All of a sudden, the sound of cheering and whooping was heard and the two girls looked over to see Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe hugging and giving each other high-fives. However, they're celebration seemed to only make things worse as Rachel cried even harder.

"Wait, I thought it was a good thing that he woke up." Joey commented, unsure of why Rachel was crying so hard.

Monica cast him a look before setting Rachel down on one of the chairs. "Honey, you need to tell us what's wrong." She stated, rubbing her arms to calm her down.

"It's… it's Ross… he doesn't remember me…" she managed to say through her sobs. Monica seemed a little taken back at the revelation, sitting down across from her as her mind thought about what this might mean.

"He doesn't remember you?" Monica asked bewildered as the others also sat down to comfort Rachel's trembling form.

"N-n-no. He… he looked at me and couldn't remember me…" she explained. "He can't remember you either. He can't remember any of us!"

Chandler rubbed her back as Phoebe and Joey shot each other worried glances. Monica meanwhile sat in silence, fearing the worst for her brother's state of mind. How he could he forget her, his sister? Nonetheless Rachel, the woman he's been fantasising about for his entire life. It was at this moment that Doctor Telemann appeared from the emergency room, looking over multiple sheets of paper with a very solemn look on his face.

"Doctor! Doctor!" Rachel called out when she saw him, running to him and almost tripping and falling. "Please tell me you found what's wrong with him. Please!" she begged while blinking away salty tears.

Doctor Telemann looked down and placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "Rachel, you may want to take a seat for this." She reluctantly agreed and sat back down in her original seat as the doctor noticed the others there as well. "Thank God you are all here."

"Well Rachel called us and told us it was an emergency," Monica explained. "Is my brother going to be ok?"

The doctor took a deep breath and immediately gave away that there was something. "Well that would be a matter of opinion. I have good news and bad news…"

"Good news first," Phoebe jumped in, receiving odd looks from everyone. "What? With all the negative energy around we could use something to cheer us up."

"Alright, well the good news is Ross has made a complete recovery. All his injuries are completely healed and he is healthy as he will ever be… physically…"

"Physically?" Chandler questioned.

"Yes. I guess this is where I lead into the bad news." Doctor Telemann took a moment to breath and looked each and every one of them in the eyes. "I'm sorry but Ross is suffering from a severe case of amnesia."

Monica gasped and felt tears well up in her eyes as well. Rachel buried her face in her hands while sobbing and the others merely sat there, shocked from the news they have just received.

"Allow me to explain," he continued, knowing that he had to continue regardless of how dire the situation was. He held up an x-ray of a brain and pointed to a specific area near the middle. "This is a CT scan of Ross' brain we had taken a few moments ago. Right here is where most long-term memories are stored, an area we doctors call the limbic system. Luckily, not the entire system has been damaged."

"Luckily," Monica repeated sarcastically and Chandler knew that his fiancée has just snapped. "My brother can't even remember his own sister and you're giving me a 'luckily'?!"

"Please, you have to calm down Monica. The truth is, your brother was very lucky that nothing else was damaged or else he would not be remembering a lot more than that." Doctor Telemann explained as Chandler held onto Monica's hands to avoid another sudden outburst. "You see, Ross' amnesia has not led him to forget everything. He seems to have a little bit of trouble remembering basic human functions and knowledge, as well as the accident that brought him to the hospital, but these are all normal in severe cases of amnesia."

Then his expression softened a bit as he went on. "However, there is an area that is very concerning to us currently. This little area of the limbic system is called the hippocampus and its function is to store long-term memories linked to emotions. We have reason to believe that when Ross fractured his skull, something hard must have shaken his brain and disrupted the nerves inside the hippocampus. As a result, Ross has forgotten most, if not all people and actions linked to the sentiment of 'love'. This obscurity may have been caused by a sudden display of this emotion prior to his loss of consciousness."

"Th-that's me…" Rachel whispered out loud, crying softly as her tearful eyes looked upwards. "He loved me… he protected me… he kept me safe during the crash. It's because of me he can't remember any of you… it's because of me he can't remember…me…"

"Don't be so hard on yourself Rachel," Chandler soothed, although technically, what Rachel was saying was true. "You can't keep beating yourself up because of this. We'll get through this together and he needs all of us, including you, to be strong for him."

She sniffled and leaned over to cry into his shoulder. "When did you get to be so sentimental?"

"Hey, I'm not all about laughs and jokes," he answered, lightening up the mood and releasing a little bit of tension.

"I am truly sorry," Doctor Telemann sympathized with not only his words but his eyes. "If it is any consolation, Ross should be heading home today as there is nothing we can further do for him. Like Chandler has said, the state of his mentality rests in your hands now. I understand you five are the closest individuals in his life and only through you will he be able to regain those memories back."

"Thank you doctor," Monica said, wiping away her own tears and giving a weak smile. She felt Chandler squeeze her hand, telling her he was there for her as well, and she squeezed back.

"Anytime, however there is something I must address. Take Ross' hand and introduce him back to those who he may have forgotten, but you mustn't lay it on him all at once. The combination of shock and unknown knowledge may overload his brain and could risk his memories to never return. Things such as his son or even the meaning of love can be extremely dangerous so I warn you now; you have to approach these topics subtly."

He received a nod from everyone but Rachel, who looked away and squeezed out a few more tears from her eyes. Surprisingly, Doctor Telemann placed his clipboard on a nearby chair, squatting down to her level and placing his hands on her knees to get her attention. He looked her straight in the eyes, showing his sympathy without words as if he were about to explain to little girl that her pet has died.

"Rachel, I understand how hard this must be for you," he started. "I've seen you come in here daily, three times a day, just to visit him and talk with him even though you knew he wouldn't respond. I can tell that you care for him deeply and I've seen the look in your eyes when you see him. You are in love, and I know this because I had the same look as you did when my wife was in the hospital."

Rachel's tears slowed and he grabbed her hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.

"If you love him as much as I know you do, then you have to be strong for him. In fact, you have to be stronger than anyone else here. I know it will be tough not showing him your affection but what you can do is guide him and help him remember. You have to be the shoulder he leans on and when the time comes, he'll remember you too, ok?"

She nodded slyly, understanding that what the doctor was saying was true, and wiped away her tears to show that she could be strong. She would be strong. For _him_.

"He should be back in his room by now," the doctor announced standing up. "I suggest you all to go and introduce yourselves. He's free to go at anytime and I'll mail over the reports once they're analysed."

Doctor Telemann left as the five friends made their way towards Ross' room. As they nervously approached the hospital door, they all wondered how they would be able to hide multiple different things from him as he recovers. They wouldn't be able to act the same around him, at least until he regained his memories of the past events. For now, their main focus was to help him and hopefully, he would come around soon.

Chandler reached for the door knob but all of a sudden, Joey grabbed his arm to stop him. "Wait guys, I just thought of something."

"Well that's new," Chandler quipped, rubbing his arm where Joey had unnecessarily squeezed. Monica gave him a little shove and turned her attention to Joey.

"No I'm serious. When we bring Ross home, do you think it's a smart idea to let him live alone?"

"That's a good point," Phoebe pointed out. "So what do we do?"

"Well, I one of us is going to have to move in with him." Chandler replied.

Monica raised an eyebrow. "What? We're just going to lie and say that one of us has been living with him?"

"It's not like he can remember anything," he shrugged. "Now which one of us is-"

"I'll do it," Rachel said, stepping forward.

"Rach, honey, I know that you want to help him as much as you can right now but are you sure that it would be smart if you lived with him?" Monica questioned with a concerning look.

Rachel shook her head at the question. "Please…I need to do this," she begged with large, teary eyes.

"Alright then. Are you guys ok with this?"

The other three nodded, not wishing to start an argument or sadden Rachel any further. She has been through enough for one day.

A moment later, the door opened and they walked into the lit-up room slowly. Ross was sitting on the berth, dressed in normal clothes now and cautiously attempting to stand with his new cane. He had been given it to help him walk until his muscles can redevelop as they have not exercised at all for the past three months.

Sensing the presence of others in the room, Ross turned around and was surprised to see so many people watching him. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, wondering who these people were until he spotted the familiar woman trailing behind them. His expression softened, almost into a relief.

"You came back," he said to Rachel who walked towards him slowly.

"Yeah, um, I had to take a call," she lied, swallowing the lump in her throat and holding back tears. It pained her to talk to him knowing that he couldn't remember who she was. "I-I want to introduce you to some people."

Ross turned his head to look at the other people as they introduced themselves one by one.

"I'm your friend Phoebe Buffay and I'm a freelance masseuse."

"I'm Joey Tribbiani, an actor and one of your best friends."

"I'm Chandler Bing. We've been best friends since college."

Finally Monica stepped forward, taking his hands and looking him in the eyes. "Ross it's me, Monica. I'm your sister."

Ross' eyes widened slightly, looking over the woman in front of him. "You're my sister?" Monica nodded and he couldn't help but smile, making her smile too as she let out a small laugh of relief.

"And what about you? Did I know you too?" he directed his question to the beautiful woman he had met when he had woken up. She shuffled on her feet, running her hand up her arm before locking eyes with him. Being this close to her, he couldn't help but get lost in those beautiful blue eyes but also noticed them tear up a bit as they stared at each other.

"I'm…" she tried to differentiate the words that she needed to say with the words she wanted to say. Her eyes shifted to the ground for a moment before looking back up and locking with his.

"I'm your roommate, Rachel Green. I-I've known you since high school and… and you're my…

…best friend."

…

Rachel helped him to the large brown door, placing the key in its slot and swinging the door open to reveal the dark apartment. She flicked on the light switch near the doorway then moved back to help him walk, draping his arm across his shoulder.

"So this is our apartment?" Ross asked, looking around.

 _Our_ apartment is what he said. The thought of them sharing a roof together made her smile but only for a moment as she remembered that she was lying. Oh how she wished things were different.

"Oh, uh yeah, this is it," she quickly responded, helping him to the couch.

"So how long have you been living here for?"

 _Damn it Ross, why are you asking so many questions!_ She thought to herself.

"Um, actually not for too long," she nervously replied, thinking of a way to answer this question. She's never been the beset liar. "You, um, offered me a place to stay before the accident but I decided not to move in until you woke up. I guess I should start bringing my stuff over from my other place."

"Well I could use the company, especially from someone like you," he admitted and she couldn't help but fall head over heels in love with him. Even when he wasn't himself, he was still the sweet and flattering person she had known since high school.

Their eyes locked again and she felt a spark between them. Her heart began beating repeatedly and she craved for those soft lips to touch hers. The room seemed to spin for her and she felt as though they were the only two beings in the world. Naturally, she began leaning towards him, eyes staring into each other until she closed them and waited for something magical to happen.

"We should get some sleep," he said, breaking her trance and making her sit-up suddenly.

"What?" was all she could say, still trying to recover from whatever just happened.

"It's getting late and you were beginning to close your eyes. The doctor told me to get some rest as well so I think I'm going to go to bed."

Rachel sub-consciously kicked herself up, both embarrassed and ashamed at what she almost did. Had she no self-control over her emotions? He obviously didn't want to kiss her, nonetheless even know what the word "kiss" means. She shook her head, beating herself up and turning away so he wouldn't see her intense blushing.

"R-right, yeah, you're right." She stuttered, avoiding eye-contact with him.

She watched as he slowly got up from the couch, using his cane to help him towards the bedroom. He didn't seem to notice her strange acting and she was quite grateful that he didn't.

"Goodnight, uh…"

"Rachel."

"Right, goodnight Rachel," he corrected, locking eyes with her one more time before disappearing into the bedroom.

She waited a few more moments to make sure that he wasn't there before letting out a deep sigh of relief. She could feel the familiar butterflies in her stomach and that last look they shared definitely didn't help her control how she felt towards him. Half of her wanted to so badly run in there and fall into his arms while the other half fought her urges and reminded her that telling him the truth could make her lose him forever.

She sighed again; this time a more saddened one and slumped onto the couch, feeling a single tear trickle down her cheek.

Life was a lot more difficult than she thought.

…

 **Author's Notes: Thank you so much to those who reviewed last time. This is a longer chapter as the others won't be long. Things will start to lighten up a bit and right now, I have a lot of ways to approach Ross' memory loss. I guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens now.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Thanks for the feedback guys; I really appreciate the support I'm getting on this story. As from here on out, the tone should be a bit lighter than previous chapters but I do hope to keep that emotional element involved.**

 **Also, I realised that I had totally forgotten the whole pregnancy thing that Rachel no doubt would be feeling at this point in the timeline. To accommodate to my mistake, let's just say that Rachel and Ross did sleep together that one night but she didn't end up getting pregnant. Normally I like to keep my stories as authentic as possible but at this point, adding in Rachel's pregnancy will have alter the tone and plot line so let's pretend it never happened.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and be sure to leave a review if you have any comments or suggestions.**

…

Rachel awoke to the smell of smoke and something burning, sitting up abruptly. She rubbed her eyes, removing the sleep from them, and looked around the unfamiliar room. For a moment, she began to panic as she had no idea where she was but soon, reality began to sink in and what she had perceived to merely be a dream was in fact, real life.

She groaned and fell back in bed, wanting to close her eyes and shut out the rest of the world. She wasn't ready to deal with everything right now, especially him, and she began to wonder how she was going to act around him. The doctor's warnings of revealing her emotions to him echoed through her head and she knew that if she ever wanted the real Ross back, _her_ Ross back, she'd have to keep it inside. Now the question was _how long_ can she keep it hidden from him, especially since she was now living with him? It's not like she's never done this before; in fact, she was pretty much an expert at this point. But this time felt different. This time, it was as if she had fallen in love with him all over again.

A sigh escaped her mouth and she ran her fingers through her flourishing blonde hair. She didn't know the time but it was too early to get up yet. She's never been a morning person and perhaps a few more minutes in bed will save her some minutes before the inevitable happens and she runs into him.

As she turned to her side, hoping to rest and fall back to sleep, the same smell of smoke passed by her nostrils and instantly, her eyes shot open. She sat up again, sniffing the air and looking at the door to her bedroom. She figured that since the fire alarm hasn't gone off, it probably wasn't serious. She also concluded that he was up as well and as much as she didn't want to face him just yet, she knew she had to eventually.

After forcing herself up and doing a couple morning stretches, she walked across the room and grabbed some clothes from a small duffle bag Joey had sent over last night. Since it was a Saturday, she felt like wearing something comfortable, but also attractive and opted for a nice white sweater with gray sweatpants. It was a cute little outfit, exactly what she wanted. Back when she and Ross had dated, she found out that he actually liked the cute, attractive look more than the slutty, putting-it-all-out-there one. Hopefully, wearing something that he liked will help bring back memories from the past.

Before she left, Rachel spent a few moments admiring the room. Unlike the one she had at Joey's, it was comfortable and relaxing. There were no strange smells in random corners, nor were there morning opera singers across the street. It felt warm and cozy, and even contrary to her room at Monica's, it felt like hers. She had noticed that Ross hasn't changed a thing since when she almost moved in, back when they were legally married, and she had to wonder what life would have been like if they didn't had that fight over the divorce and she had ended up living here instead of at Joey's.

As she neared the kitchen, she immediately picked up the scent of smoke and when she rounded the corner, her eyes landed on the one person she both wanted and didn't want to see, reading the newspaper with a coffee in one hand and a plate of burnt toast in front of him.

"Good morning," she greeted after clearing her throat. Ross looked up from his paper and smiled, giving her butterflies in her stomach already.

"Morning. Care for some toast?"

She raised an eyebrow at his offer and stared at the plate of black toast on the table.

"Is that where the burning smell is coming from?"

Ross chuckled. "Yeah, I uh… I kind of forgot how to use the toaster."

She joined in the laughter, sitting down across from him and pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Experience any other problems this morning?"

"Hmmm, well I did mistake soap with shampoo in the shower… oh, and I almost put on my shirt backwards as well but other than that, I think my memories are doing good so far."

Rachel forced a smile, knowing all too well of what his memory was lacking. She took a sip of her coffee, looking up at him and taking a double-take after something caught her eye. She stifled a laugh and he raised a questionable eyebrow.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh no, it's nothing," she said through a giggle and covered her mouth. "It's just that your shirt is backwards _and_ inside out."

Ross looked down and sure enough, he noticed the tag dangling off from the front of his t-shirt. He looked at her and laughed, standing up and using the table to balance him as his legs still haven't gained enough muscle to support him yet.

As she laughed openly, she watched as he stood up and all of a sudden took off his t-shirt right in front of her. Her eyes went wide and she stopped her laughter to gaze upon his bare chest. Even with being in a coma for three months, his chest was defined and decently built and as she became mesmerized with his body, she began to feel an urge to get up and start kissing him.

"There, that better?"

The sound of his voice snapped her out of her fantasising and she immediately turned to find him seated back down with his shirt properly worn.

"Huh? Oh, yeah… yeah that's better," she flustered, looking away and hoping that he didn't catch her staring. Her face turned a bright shade of red from embarrassment and took a moment to calm herself down.

"So," she started after clearing her throat and turning back around, "got any plans for the day?" After the words left her mouth she silently kicked herself at the stupidity of her question. Ross also picked up onto the strange question and chuckled while giving an amused look.

"Not that I know of, otherwise I'd be three months late."

Rachel burst out laughing as if what he said was the funniest joke of the year. _God, what is wrong with me?_ She questioned herself, at the same time; Ross just looked at her with the same amused look but with a hint of confusion.

"Um… ok. What about you? Do you have anything planned?"

"Well, I still have to move out of Joey's but that shouldn't take long. Other than that, I'm sure the other guys will want to hang out with us for a while, maybe at the coffee shop or something."

Ross nodded his head and took a bite of the burnt toast. "Yeah that sounds good. Just one question though."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Right, uh, which one's Joey?"

"He's the actor. You know,.…the Italian…a few inches shorter than you…loves women and sandwiches… He was the one checking out the nurses at the hospital yesterday." Ross just shook his head and she sighed. "I guess you'll see him later today."

"Sorry, I don't know why but my memories linked with you and the other guys don't seem to come to me as easy as other things. No offense or anything, but right now, all I know is that I have five friends, including my sister, who are complete strangers to me. I mean even now, I want to remember you and know who you are, but I don't."

She had to admit, his words hurt her a bit, but she knew that they weren't intentional. Instead she sucked up her own emotions and reached for his hand across the table, remembering that she of all people had to be strong for him.

"Hey, don't worry about it," she said with a convincing smile, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. "The doctor said that's totally normal and you'll get them back soon. Besides, that's why we're here, to help you."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." He smiled back and she melted right there on the spot. She subconsciously continued to stroke his hand, lost inside his large, hazel eyes. All of a sudden, an idea popped into her mind and she straightened up.

"Actually, speaking of your memory, how about we walk around the city later this evening, just the two of us? I can re-introduce you to all the buildings and maybe you'll remember some of the more important places we go to."

"You know, that sounds like a really good idea. I'd love to re-acquaint myself and who better to show me around than my roommate?" Rachel's smile grew larger and he gave her hand a thankful squeeze before turning back to his food. He took another bite of the burnt toast and instantly, his facial expression turned sour. "Do you know any breakfast places around here? This toast is not working for me."

She giggled as he pushed the plate away. "We can go down to the coffee house to grab breakfast. The others are probably already there anyways."

"Great, I'll go change," Ross replied, standing up and taking a hold of the cane leaning against the table. "Thanks again for being so kind to me. Everything's kind of messed up right now and I really appreciate your company."

Rachel smiled at his honest words. "Anytime, I'll always be here for you."

He nodded and smiled back before heading to his bedroom, limping along as he attempted to walk without the help of the cane. Her eyes followed him as he left and when he disappeared, she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in. At that moment, she realised her heart had been beating out of control that entire time and only now that he was gone was her heartbeat calming down.

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table, letting out a long sigh as she rubbed her eyes. Why must things be so complicated between them? If it's not someone, it's something that always keeps them apart. To make matters worse, she had essentially just asked him out on a date for later this evening and the was _definitely_ not going to help her keep her abundance of emotions hidden from him. Fate just loved to toy with her feelings and watch her suffer.

After a moment to gather her bearings and another sigh, she gulped down the rest of her coffee in one go just as Ross re-appeared into the kitchen dressed in a blue cashmere sweater and dark pair of jeans. She couldn't help but look him up and down, unconsciously nodding in approval at his attractive look.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

Her head cocked up at his voice. "Hmm? Yeah, yeah! Let's go!"

Hastily, she headed for the door, avoiding his gaze as she quickly made her way out; leaving a very confused Ross left standing behind.

…

"And this… is Central Perk."

Rachel led Ross inside the brightly lit coffee house, guiding him forward through the doorway. They stopped near the doorway and she watched as his eyes moved across the room as if he was taking in it all at once. She too scanned the coffee house, realising that she had never actually taken the time to appreciate the decorations and design of the room. There had been new pictures hung up since she last worked here 4 years ago, and the tables and chairs in the back have been replaced with newer ones. She had to admit, the place really gave off that comfortable, home-like sense.

"This place feels so familiar," he commented while looking around, "it almost feels like it was… special in some way."

If only he knew just _how_ special this place was. The coffee house was where she had first met most of the group back when she had run away from her wedding. It was also her first job, her first paycheck, and also the first place she could actually call "home". But, more importantly, it was also where they had their first kiss, sharing that magical moment only a few steps to the left of where Ross was standing now.

"Well, this is where we hang out most of the time so it is kind of special for us," she answered simply. Her eyes went to the orange couch and saw that she was right in assuming the others would be here. She grabbed Ross' arm and led him over, joining their conversation.

"Hey guys," she greeted with a smile and taking a seat on the armrest, leaving Ross awkwardly standing to the side. Even though he supposedly knew these people most of his life, at the moment, they were all strangers to him and he wasn't exactly sure if he was supposed to greet them as well or just kind of slip in.

The group said their "hi's" to Rachel and Ross scratched his head. But, before he made a decision of what to say, he was almost thrown off his feet by a tight hug followed by an ecstatic squeal.

"Hey brother! Oh, I can't believe you're actually back!" the black-haired woman exclaimed. He could have guessed that this was his sister as she was the only non-blonde woman of the group.

"It's nice to see you too… um…"

The woman backed away and gave him a confused look. "Are you trying to remember my name?"

At this moment Rachel jumped in, tapping her friend on the shoulder. "Right, Mon, he's having trouble remembering names. Ross, this is your sister Monica, but we usually call her Mon."

"Monica. Monica. Ok, I think I'll remember that now." He gave a weak smile while Monica sat back down, looking at him with a worried look.

"Guys, do you mind re-introducing yourselves?" Rachel asked the group.

"Joey."

"Chandler."

"Princess Consuela."

"Phoebe!" Monica scolded. "Don't confuse him more!"

"Oh, alright. I'm Phoebe," she said truthfully.

Ross looked at the tall blonde woman in the chair and cocked an eyebrow. "You're Phoebe? I thought you were Rachel."

Rachel's face dropped and showed a hint of sadness in her voice. "I-I'm Rachel."

"I could have sworn my roommate's name was Phoebe," he said turning to her.

"No no, it's Rachel. I'm your roommate, Rachel Green." She had to admit, she was saddened to know that he didn't know her name until now, meaning that during their conversation this morning, he had thought that she was Phoebe and not Rachel.

"Rachel Green. Ok, got it. Sorry about that." He gave looked at her and she sent a weak smile back to hide the pain that she was actually feeling. Suddenly a loud growl sounded from her stomach and she blushed from embarrassment.

"What? We haven't eaten yet," she answered the amused faces her friends had on.

"I'll get us some muffins," Ross offered and she nodded, moving over to sit at the small table near the counter.

While he lined up behind a few people who were ordering, Monica tapped her knee and hunched over to make sure he wouldn't hear them.

"So how did the morning go?" she asked as the others joined in.

"Ok, I guess. I woke up and saw him reading the paper in the kitchen and we just talked for a bit."

"You didn't mention anything about _you know what_ right?" Joey questioned and Chandler gave him a nudge.

"Dude, you don't need to use code. We're whispering."

"Oh, I thought we were going to use code words for everything. So like 'I need to use the bathroom' can be 'it's PP time'."

"What?"

Monica rolled her eyes and turned back to Rachel. "Ignore those two, but did you though?"

"No, I didn't say anything, even when he asked." She let out a depressed sigh and looked at the ground. "To him, I'm just some roommate whose name he apparently can't remember."

"Honey, don't worry about that. I'm sure he's forgotten everyone else's name as well. He forgot ours didn't he?"

"I know… I just thought that I'd be a little more special to him."

Just as she finished, Ross reached the front of the line and they turned their heads to watch him. Gunther noticed him as he approached the counter and smiled.

"Hey Ross, nice to see you back on your feet."

"Yeah, well, not quite." Ross motioned to the cane that was supporting his weight. "Anyways, could I get a few blueberry muffins?"

"Sure thing," he answered. Ross began pulling out his wallet from his pocket but Gunther stopped him. "Oh no, don't worry about it. It's on the house." Normally, he wouldn't be so generous but he had heard from the group about what he had done to protect Rachel during the car crash and was internally grateful.

"Really? Thanks Gunther, I appreciate it."

After getting the tray of muffins, Ross made his way to the other seat at the small table and sat down, noticing the strange looks the others were giving him along with a dejected one from Rachel.

"What?"

"How did you know Gunther's name?" Monica asked, noticing Rachel's saddened look in the corner of her eye.

He paused for a moment to think of an answer. "I don't really know. It just rolled off my tongue."

"See Mon, it just _rolled_ off his tongue," Rachel repeated, recklessly grabbing a muffin and taking a large bite, although it was obvious that she was genuinely hurt.

"So Ross, got any plans for the day?" Chandler asked, changing the subject.

"Not really. I was thinking that I'd spend the day with you all to get to know you again and maybe try to recover some memories. Rachel also said something about moving so I guess I'll try to help out any way I can."

"Moving! Yes!" Monica clapped while everyone else groaned.

"Do we have to help Rachel move?" Chandler whined.

"Of course! It's going to be so much fun!" And everyone groaned again.

Ross cocked an eyebrow and Rachel touched his arm, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

"You'll find out soon enough."

…

Hours later, Rachel stumbled into Joey's apartment, tired, sore, and in need of a place to rest before she collapsed. A few more boxes still littered the living room, needing to be moved but she lacked the strength to either want to or care to move anymore boxes. She now understood why her friends were always making fun of her large wardrobe of clothes and shoes.

Seeing Ross sitting on the coach, she walked over and plopped herself down next to him. He noticed her and turned away from whatever he was looking at, sending her a teasing smile.

"Having fun?"

"No," she said with attitude, "I swear that woman has issues. Did you know she has protocols for packing _and_ unpacking boxes?!"

Ross chuckled. "Yeah, I read her 'Moving Manual'."

She let out a breath and leaned back, subconsciously tilting her head so that she could rest it on his shoulder. Without thinking twice, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his closeness. A moment later, her eyes shot open when she felt him wrap an arm around her and rub her shoulder. She wished she could stay in that position for a while but knowing her poor sense of self-control and how easily she falls into her own temptations, she sat up abruptly and cleared her throat.

"So, uh, what are you looking at?"

He held up the large photo album in front of him, showing her the images he had been looking at.

"I'm not quite sure. I found it on top of one of those boxes and was curious."

Rachel peered at the images closely, inspecting them with a close eye. At first, she didn't recognise it at all but when a few pictures caught her eye, she gasped.

"Oh my God! You found my childhood photo album!" she squealed excitedly, scooting closer and taking a hand of one side of the album. "I thought I lost this when Phoebe's house burnt down."

"What?"

"Never mind… oh look! Here's me when I was 8 years old!"

She pointed at an image of a little girl who very much resembled a mini version of her current self. In the photo, her six-year-old self was wearing a flourishing pink dress with a large smile on her face. Seeing this brought one on her face as well as she tried to remember the good old days; when life was all fun and games and not a single worry in the world.

"That's you?" Ross asked, and she nodded excitedly. He squinted and leaned closer for a better look and then turned to her as if inspecting her face. "Why does your nose look different than how it does in the picture?"

"Oh that? They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum," she explained holding her nose.

"That's a shame. I think you looked really cute with your nose in this picture."

She couldn't help but blush at his words. _Why did he have to be so sweet?_ Ross flipped the page and her eyes immediately found another photo that brought a bigger smile to her face.

"Look, look, look! You see this one right here?" she asked, motioning towards a picture with three smiling children looking into the camera.

"Yeah what about it?"

"That's you!"

Ross did a double-take, looking at the image more closely. Sure enough, there were three kids in the photo; an overweight girl, a girl that resembled 8-year-old Rachel, and a smiling boy with an arm over her shoulders.

"Who's the fat girl to the left?"

"That's Monica silly!" she laughed.

"Monica? No way, this girl looked like she's been eating at Burger King her entire life."

She laughed again. "That was Monica."

Ross looked at the picture one more time and a small smile crossed his face. "Huh, so I've known you for a lot longer than I thought."

"Yeah, actually I've known you and Monica ever since I was 6 years old, when I first moved to Long Island. We were inseparable up until high school when I became popular and started becoming really shallow."

"You? Shallow? But you're so kind and caring."

"Not back in high school. Actually, most people labeled me as a bitch, which was kind of accurate. I'm not too proud of my past…"

"So have we kept in touch ever since we were 6?" he asked, wanting to know a little more about his own past as he was having trouble remembering these specific times as she was explaining.

"No, during high school we didn't really talk or do things together as much as we used to. Me and Monica were still close but you were just Monica's older brother to me and I was just Monica's best friend to you." Of course, she knew that she was far more than just 'Monica's best friend' to him back then, but if he didn't remember that then she found no reason to bring it up. "Then when you went off to college, we sort of drifted apart. It wasn't until 7 years ago when we ran into each other and we've been best friends ever since."

"Huh, we have quite a history don't we?" he pointed out and she couldn't help but sigh.

 _You have no idea…_ she thought to herself. "We really do…"

"But the past is the past, and it's not like I remember those times anyways. I'm just glad that you're a part of my life now, and that's what really counts in my books."

They exchanged smiles until suddenly; he did something very unexpected by wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a light kiss on the cheek. Her face immediately flushed red as she felt the all too familiar sense of butterflies in her stomach. He'd always have that kind of power over her, but this time, she didn't fight it. She sunk into the couch with her eyes closed, resting her head back against his shoulder and enjoying his arm wrapped around her like a protective shield. She felt safe, she felt relaxed, and most of all, she felt like she was home.

After a few minutes of nobody moving, Ross closed the photo album and put it back on the table, removing his arm from her shoulders. However, still not wanting the moment to end, she sort of snuggled up to his arm, sighing contently as she relaxed for a bit longer.

"Are you really this tired?" he asked in a soft voice which she replied with the slight nod of her head. "Well, it's 6 o'clock right now and I was thinking we could grab dinner somewhere or something. But if you're too tired to walk around town, we can go home if you want."

"No, no, I'm up," she replied, forcing herself up and rubbing the almost-sleep out from her eyes. As much as she wanted to stay in that position, she also didn't want to postpone their evening plans, especially if it's going to be just the two of them. "Let's go."

They stood up together and Ross grabbed his jacket from the side of the couch. As he put it on, the apartment door swung open, revealing the disheveled and tired friends followed by a gleeful Monica behind them.

"Alright, just a few more boxes and you're done. Chop chop," she ordered.

"But we're tired!" Joey whined, collapsing on the coach with Chandler.

"Yeah, and you haven't done anything other than yell at us all day! Maybe _you_ should carry the rest of these boxes," Phoebe said and slumped down in a chair.

"Fine, fine, 10 minute break," she announced, earning groans and even a "come on" as responses. Suddenly, she noticed Rachel and Ross off to the side, jackets on and heading towards the door. "Where are you two going?"

"Well, we're going out for dinner and then I'm going to show him around town," Rachel explained.

"Just the two of you?" she questioned, a hint of worry in her voice.

"Yeah, why? Is that a problem?"

Monica shared a look with the others and Rachel knew they had something they wanted to tell her.

"Hey Ross, how about you start making your way down and I'll catch up in just a sec? Mon and I have to talk about something really quickly and besides, you need more time going down the stairs."

Ross shrugged in response and opened the door. "Ok, don't be too long," he said before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" Monica asked her as soon as the door was shut.

"We're having dinner together then walking around town…"

"As a date?" she questioned.

"No, of course not! We're just two friends spending the evening together. What's wrong with that?"

"Sounds like a date to me," Joey quipped.

"Yup, I'd totally classify that as a date," Chandler added.

"You're totally falling for him again," Phoebe mentioned and smiled.

Monica placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her that 'serious talk' kind of feel. "Look Rach, we're not worried that you two are doing stuff together because that's great. We're just worried that… you know… you won't be able to control your emotions around him. We know how you kind of lose your senses when you're smitten and that's what you totally are right now."

"It's ok Mon, I'll have it under control," she stated, although she was also trying to convince herself. If the evening would be anything like what just happened on the couch, then she'd really have to try to keep her attraction towards him hidden.

"If you say so… just… be careful about what you say and do."

Rachel nodded. "I will. Bye guys!" she said with a wave before exiting the door.

Outside in the hallway, she took a moment to recollect her bearings before heading for the stairs to catch up with Ross, into the vast evening and whatever else fate may have in store for them later on.

…

For the entire evening, she couldn't have stopped smiling, even if she tried. It had been a long time since she last enjoyed herself as much as she did. They had ended up grabbing some Chinese food from a local restaurant, but even if it were Chinese, it had been better than any dinner she's had in the past months. Not even dates could compete with how much fun it was to just go out and spend the entire time talking with Ross about anything. She had missed him dearly when he was in the hospital with a coma, she truly did, and being able to talk and laugh with him felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders.

After dinner, they had strolled around the busy city, following her lead as she pointed and motioned to different buildings. She had shown him restaurants the group has gone to on occasions; Ernie's, Becco, Marcel's, Tavern on the Green… they had even stopped by Monica's old job at Moondance Diner as well as her new one at the furnished Allesandro's.

A couple blocks after, she had grabbed his arm and motioned towards a rather large restaurant which seemed to be very popular with the public. "That's my favourite, Amélie. It's French and serves the most amazing food you'll ever have."

"Why don't we go some time later this week then?" he had suggested and she laughed.

"There's no way we'd get a spot for later this week. You need to book reservations almost a month early, not to mention everything's crazy expensive. I've only ever been a few times and half the time, my dad had paid the bill."

Continuing through the city, she had shown him Chandler's office and Phoebe's old massage place. They also passed by her old job at Bloomingdale's and her new one at Ralph Lauren, as well as Silvercup Studios where Joey often had auditions. Later on, they had found their way to the Museum of Natural History which Ross had taken an immediate liking to and was quite surprised when she told him he had worked there for a few years before becoming a professor. Being there also brought back nostalgic memories and forced a large smile onto her face as she thought back to the first time she and Ross had been their together alone.

At one point, she had dragged him through one of the plazas where she had motioned towards some of her favourite stores to shop at. As usual, he didn't take an interest into fashion as she did, but she appreciated his willingness to listen and nod along, even cracking an occasional joke that made her laugh. When they passed by a familiar antique shop, they had stopped and looked through the window and while he commented on the beauty of the antiques inside, she had stared at their reflection through the window. They looked as if they were a couple going on an evening stroll and at that moment, she was the happiest she's been since the car crash.

On their little tour, they had also passed by a few places with not so good memories linked to them. They had gone by the bar that he went to after their break up and eventually, gotten drunk at. Crossing the street, they had arrived at his old apartment building and she the nostalgia of why he moved in the first place made her frown. A few blocks down, they walked by Ross' lawyer's office where they had finalized their divorce. To this day, she still wasn't quite sure why he tried to keep it a secret. She didn't buy that whole "three divorces" excuse and she had seen in his eyes that there was a deeper reasoning that he had but refused to tell her about.

And of course, how could they not walk down memory lane without passing by the infamous Xerox store, still up and running but far more beaten up since the last time she was there. If there was one part of the city that she hated, it was this place, and though they never resolved the issue of who to blame for their break up, deep down, she's always have a hatred for this Xerox store and particularly towards that copy slut that ruined their relationship. She had stood just outside of the store, staring inwards with a look of hatred and pain while Ross merely looked on with a confused look. Ironically, he couldn't remember this place and she, frankly, no longer _wanted_ to remember this place.

As dawn came and the sun set in a beautiful picture behind the horizon, the dark night sky fell upon the city of New York. Up above, a rare phenomenon occurred, particular in a place such as New York City as thousands of bright stars lit up the skies and danced around with the moon. A slight breeze blew along in the air and if possible, the area around Central Park fell into a silence rarely ever heard.

Ross and Rachel walked through the park, hand in hand and glancing up at the beautiful starry sky above them. At some point, she had squeezed passed a group of people and ended up linking hands with him. Instead of letting go, however, she left her hand inside his, leaning into his arm a bit as they walked along. Her hand fit perfectly in his palm as if it were meant to be and at the same time, she tried her best not to start sweating from her palms in showing her nervousness and excitement of being so close to his body that she could smell him. Though faint, that smell was undeniably his; a mix of men's cologne and his body odor, and she had to control herself from leaning over and taking a whiff of the smell she has missed over the months and come to love because it was his.

A small chill crept up her spine and she shivered, something that didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Are you cold?" he asked to which she merely shrugged, walking along. All she had was the sweater she wore from the morning and she hadn't brought any other clothes with her.

To her surprise, she felt his hand leave hers and a moment later, the warmth of his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked up at him with love in her eyes and a grateful look while he smiled sweetly back. She blushed slightly and took a hold of his hand once again, moving even closer to him so that they could share the heat from each other's bodies. _He was such a gentlemen_ , she thought to herself. _And he isn't even doing it on purpose!_

They continued their way through the moonlit park, holding onto each other while her heart began beating at a faster pace every minute she spent with him. They walked into a clearing in the middle of the park where a nice floral cart was set up in the middle. They went over to the cart while the owner somewhat ignored them and let them look at the selection of flowers on their own.

"What do you say we buy some flowers for our apartment?" he suggested.

" _Our_ apartment?" she repeated, really liking the sound of that.

"Of course, that place is as much mine as it is yours now. You can decorate it as much as you want so I was thinking you might want a vase of flowers or something."

"Fl-flowers would be nice…" she said while a smile crept onto her face. She had never been allowed to decorate the apartment before. Not at Joey's, not at Phoebe's, and definitely not at Monica's. If this was the real Ross who was giving her permission to change whatever she wanted, then she began questioning herself of why she hadn't moved in with him earlier.

A few moments of looking at the selection brought his attention to a bundle of white flowers. "How about these lilies?" he asked while pointing at them and she smiled.

"I think their perfect. Lilies are my favourite flower."

"Then lilies it is," he said before turning to the owner of the cart. "I'd like to buy these flowers for the wonderful lady next to me." She blushed at his words and clung onto his arm more as the owner rung the flowers up and Ross paid for the flowers.

"For you," he said, handing her the flowers when they began walking away.

"Why thank you," she replied, gratefully accepting the gift. She sniffed the flowers in her hand and smiled. They continued their walk, hand in hand, and _now_ , she realised, did they actually look like a real couple.

Eventually they returned to the apartment, happily entering the nicely heated apartment versus the chill from outside. She hung up his jacket on a hook before gently placing the lilies in a vacant vase, placing it in the middle of the apothecary table he had. She smiled at the picture in front of her before spinning around at the sound of a lazy yawn.

"Now who's tired?" she teased and he gave her a sleepy smile.

"I am. I think I'm going to head to bed," he said before taking her hands in his and sending her a sweet smile. "I had a great time tonight, thank you."

"I had a great time too."

Their eye-sight locked and they stared into each other's eyes, large smiles plastered on their faces and just silence shared between them. Eventually he yawned again, ending the moment, and she giggled.

"Goodnight Rachel."

"Goodnight Ross."

Her eyes followed him as he headed for the bedroom and when he left, she sunk down onto the couch, still smiling and thinking back to the amazing night she had. She knew that tonight, she' be able to sleep soundly for the first time in a long time.

…

 **Here it is, Chapter 4 is up. Sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes. I didn't get a chance to review the entire thing since it's like midnight where I am right now. I really wanted to get something out today so I hope you all enjoy and leave a review if you're liking the story so far.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **There's not much that happens in this chapter but it's necessary that I added this in. Hope you enjoy nonetheless and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.**

…

"So Monica, now that Ross is back, does that mean the wedding is back on?"

The five friends sat around the kitchen table in Monica's apartment, having lunch and simply talking as they usually do when they had some free time on their hands. It had been two days since Ross had awaken from his coma and as far as enlightenment goes, the group's atmosphere has definitely brightened from the three months of depression earlier. Of course, they had to limit themselves to what they say in do in front of him and the awkwardness of having to re-introduce themselves to someone they've known for years proved to be difficult at times, but re-uniting all 6 of them together has brightened up the mood for everyone, especially Rachel.

Now sitting with the others around the table, all she could think about was him. His attentive dark eyes, his gentle smile, his sweet and caring nature… the phrase "love struck" was the only way she could explain how she felt towards him. They had bonded far more than anyone would have expected, and as risky and close to her boundaries as it was, she enjoyed every moment with him. Even now, she couldn't wait until he returned from his physio class so she could spend some time with him.

As Rachel stared off into space, Monica carried over a plate of food and sat next to Chandler, sharing a look with her fiancée.

"Um… we're not sure yet," she answered for them both.

"What are you waiting for? You said you'd postpone it until Ross got better and now he is," Joey pointed out. "I say we crack out some beers, throw a crazy bachelor party and get you two married!"

Monica rolled her eyes and Chandler just sighed. "Look Joe, things are a little complicated right now and we haven't decided on anything yet. I just don't want to stand up at the altar with a best man who can't remember what I do for a living."

"You know… I still don't know what you do for a living," Monica stated and earned a glare from her fiancée.

"Well whatever you decide, you better do it quick," Phoebe said, "otherwise people will think you both have commitment issues, right Rach…? Rach?"

All attention drew to her but she didn't seem to notice, instead she sat there starring off to the side with a large smile on her face. She let out a sigh, resting her head on her chin in an almost daydream-like state.

"…Do you think Ross has commitment issues…?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Well considering he's gone through three marriages in the past seven years, I don't think he does."

"Oh my God! You are so smitten with him! You're a smitten kitten!" Monica exclaimed as if she was a teenage girl.

"Rachel's in _looove_ ," Phoebe added on.

"I am, I really am," she admitted with a smile.

"Just look at you. I've never seen you like this before."

She nodded her head. "I don't know, it's like, it took the chance of losing him forever to make me realise what I really wanted. And now when I'm with him and talking with him and laughing with him, it just feels so right, you know? I mean, just talking about him makes me miss him even more."

Phoebe and Monica squealed in delight while Chandler and Joey groaned.

"See, this is when us guys are supposed to leave the conversation and let the girls do their little girl talk thing," Chandler explained to Joey who nodded his head in agreement.

"Oh shut up, you gossip with me all the time," Monica revealed. He blushed and sank down in his seat while Joey just looked at him with a confused look.

"Ok, ok, tell us more," Phoebe persisted.

"Well he's so sweet and caring, and funny, and kind. And when I'm around him, he just makes me feel so good about myself, like I'm the only woman on earth but at the same time, on cloud 9. Oh, and that evening we went out for a walk and he wrapped his arm around me, I felt so protected and cared for I never wanted to leave his side. God, is it crazy of how much I'm in love with him?"

"Not at all," Phoebe responded with a smile. "See, I told you guys my lobsters would find their way back to each other."

"Wait, wait, wait, you guys talk about us behind our backs?"

"Are you kidding? You and Ross are like the only subject we talk about!"

"Well, that and sandwiches," Joey said.

"No, only you talk about sandwiches," Chandler pointed out.

"Ok, hold on!" Rachel said holding up her hands. "What do you guys say about us?"

"Usually we talk about how you two make huge mistakes by dating other people and about you're ridiculous on-again off-again relationship. Then there's the talk about how you both are meant to be with each other and also how you both are too damn stubborn to realise you both love each other but refuse to get back together for some stupid reason," Monica answered.

"What? I didn't love… I mean, he didn't… we didn't…" she stammered, desperately trying to think of something but ending up with nothing. "…yeah ok you're right. How long have you been talking about us?"

"Since you're second break up," Phoebe answered. "… or was it your third?"

"Wasn't it their second?" Joey asked.

Monica shook her head. "No I think it was their third, right?"

"Ok, so they had their original break up on their anniversary, then got back together the next morning but then broke up again. Then they got back together at the beach house but broke up when we got back so that makes three," Chandler counted on his fingers. "So yeah, since you're third break up."

Rachel laughed at how much their friends knew about their relationship. Sure, it sounds ridiculous when you say it like Chandler did but it just goes to show how much they've been through in the past. And now, she knew what she truly wanted in her life and that was him. She wouldn't let him go again and she refused to let the past affect how they see each other in the present. She just had to wait until he regained his memories to tell him how much he meant to her. The question is, however, just how long would she have to wait until it becomes too painful to keep her feelings hidden from him.

Reading her mind, Monica mentioned just that as she reached over and grabbed her hand.

"Rach, as much as I love seeing you happy like this, I hope you're not being overly compassionate with him. You remember what the doctor said…"

"Yeah I remember, and I'm not. It's just sometimes it's really hard not to show how I really feel about him."

"Don't worry, he'll come around soon. You just have to be strong for him now and think of what you'll have when it's all over. You'll get everything you ever wanted."

"I know Mon… I know…" she responded and her thoughts went back to him once again.

Just as she was about to fall into another dream-like state, a knock on the door was heard. The group shared a confused look with each other and they turned to the direction of the doorway.

"Was anyone expecting someone?" Monica asked and they all shook their heads. She made her way to the door and opened it hesitantly, surprised and eager to see Ross standing outside. He didn't have his cane with him, which was a great sight to see, but she could tell he was using the doorway to help keep his balance.

"Hey sis," he greeted and she gave him a hug.

"How many times do I have to tell you, don't knock, just walk in," she mentioned. "Also don't call me sis, you never did before and I don't like it when people say that."

Ross laughed. "Alright, I'll try to remember that."

She sent him a smile before walking back to her seat, crossing paths with Rachel who had just gotten up.

"Hey, you know I call my sisters that," she pointed out.

"Yeah I know."

She rolled her eyes and walked over to Ross, smiling when she saw him smiling back. She was glad he didn't have that cane anymore. It meant he was one step closer to becoming fully healthy, aside from the amnesia.

"Hey you," she greeted, tilting her head to the side. She's been saying that recently, knowing that it was one of their catch phrases while they were dating but she figured he probably didn't remember any of that so why not?

"Hey you," he responded and playfully flicked her nose. She giggled and blushed but gave him a quick hug before he could see any of that. The others looked on, smiling knowingly and seeing just how much they belong together. Monica, however, sported a concerned and worried look as she saw how Rachel fell into his arms so easily.

After a few quick "hey's" to the others, Ross leaned against the counter while Rachel remained by his side.

"So, I got a message from our mom asking me to drive down to Long Island to visit today," he explained, specifically to Monica. "You want to come with me?"

"And be criticized about every little flaw of mine? No thanks," she responded hastily and Ross raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You're mom typically picks on Monica a lot when she visits," Chandler explained.

"Oh, ok. Well how about you Rachel?"

"M-me?" she stuttered, a little thrown off by the offer. "Y-you want to drive down to Long Island… together? Like j-just you and me?"

"Yeah sure, why not? I'll need someone to drive me there anyways."

"Y-you want me to drive too?" she asked with a gulp and looked at the others with a worried look. The last time she and Ross had been in a car with her at the wheel had ended in a nightmare to say the least, and in a sense, that nightmare is still going on.

"Rachel doesn't have her license!" Monica quickly came to the rescue, though funnily enough, it wasn't a lie.

"Really? I was almost positive that you did."

"Why don't you drive down yourself?" Chandler asked. "You have a license."

"Yeah but I don't think I remember the route too well which was why I asked Monica and Rachel to come with me. Besides, I don't have a car either."

"Well I have work later tonight so I won't be able to go," Monica said. "And my Porsche is getting repaired right now from a… accident…"

Seeing the discouraged look on Ross' face, Rachel pushed past her fears and touched his arm.

"I-I'll go with you."

"Really?" he asked, with his eyes practically sparkling.

"Yes, but as long as you drive, oh, and we have to stop by my dad's house to say hi."

"Thanks Rach, you're the best," he said, picking her up and engulfing her in a hug that she enjoyed all too much.

"Wait, you still don't have a car," Chandler pointed out.

"Ooh, you can take my taxi!" Phoebe offered, jumping out of her seat.

Rachel partially flinched at the idea but Ross seemed all for it.

"That'd be great Phoebe, but I thought you were a masseuse."

"I am. My grandma left it for me when she died but I don't use it much. Ooh, but I could be a taxi driver! That would be fun!"

Ross leaned over to whisper into Rachel's ear. "Is she always like that?"

"You'll get used to it." She whispered back with a giggle. "So when do we leave?"

The both of them looked back at their friends, who were now deep in conversation about Phoebe's chances of being a taxi driver. They laughed silently and shared an amused look.

"How about now?"

She nodded with a smile. "Let's go."

…

The drive to Long Island was surprisingly better than what she had expected. At first, she had been extremely nervous, fearing for the possibility of a repeat of what happened last time. The image of the accident flashed before her eyes, but what scared her most was the possibility of losing him all over again, and if that happened, she would have no idea how she was going to live on without him. She kept repeating in her head that she was doing this for him and that nothing would happen, but sometimes fears are too much to overcome by yourself.

Luckily, and ironically, the one person in the entire world who could cause her so much pain and worry was also the one person in the entire world who could make her forget those fears and bring a smile to her face. As the car ride went by, slowly her nerves were eased by their continuous talking and laughter. Eventually, all her fears were washed away by his adorable smile and by the time she knew it, they had arrived.

As the two of them headed for the front door after parking the car, she noticed that Ross had stopped in his tracks and was staring at the ground, fidgeting with his hands.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned that something may be wrong.

He sighed and looked at her with a facial expression she's seen all too well. "I don't know, I guess I'm just nervous, that's all."

"Nervous? Why should you be nervous? If anything, I should be the one who's nervous," she joked but didn't get the same response she was looking for.

"Not really, the difference between us is that you actually remember my parents. I can barely remember their names without repeating it over and over in my head. Jack and Judy… Jack and Judy… Jack and Judy…"

Not letting him go on, she reached over and grabbed his hand. "Ross, honey, you need to relax."

"What if they don't like me Rach? What if they don't think of me as their son anymore because I can't remember anything past 2001?"

"Ross, look at me," she ordered, placing a gentle hand on his cheek and making him look into her eyes. "You're parents are the sweetest parents I know and would never do anything like that. You're their son and no matter what happened or what you don't remember, they'll be there for you, just like me, and Monica, and the rest of the gang."

A small smile trickled onto his face at her words. "Thanks Rachel, you really are the best, you know that?"

She nodded and blushed slightly. They made their way up the stairs together, hands locked with each other as he rang the door bell. She gave him a reassuring squeeze to remind him everything would be alright and he squeezed back. A moment later, the door opened and a smiling Jack and Judy greeted them.

"Ross! So glad you could make it!" his mother said before engulfing him in a hug.

"Good to see you son," his dad chorused and he too hugged him while Rachel stood off to the side, smiling at how happy he looked.

"Rachel! What a pleasant surprise!" Judy said a moment later, noticing her standing in the doorway. She happily gave both parents a quick hug, showing just how comfortable she felt around them.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Gellar. Sorry for showing up so unexpectedly."

"Oh nonsense," Jack waved off, "you're always welcome here Rachel."

"Jack's right, you're like the daughter we never had."

Ross sent her a confused look while she just shook her head. "Um, you have a daughter Mrs. Gellar."

"Oh right, of course, Monica…" Judy replied, trailing off. She looked back at Ross who was now nodding his head, mouthing the word "ohhh" to show that he understood.

"Well come in you two, dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

Rachel and Ross entered the house, closing the door behind them. The place looked the exact same as it did the last time she was there, which had been almost five years ago when she and Ross had still been dating. She noticed a few new picture frames have been hung up and a few pieces of furniture have been moved, however her focus was more on Ross than anything else. She watched as he wandered forward into the living room, looking around as if he was having a conflict in his head with whether he remembered the place or not.

"This place feels so familiar. Did I grow up here?"

"You sure did. When you were younger, you spent so much time indoors, your mother and I thought you'd never leave the house," Jack joked. "You used to be all cooped up in your room or in the basement, studying and working on your music."

"My music?" he questioned and Rachel noticed Judy smack her husband across the arm.

"Jack… don't remind him of _that_ …" she heard her whisper and she couldn't help but agree.

"Sorry, did I say working on your music? I meant listening to your music," Jack recovered and Ross seemed to buy it.

"Do you mind if I go look at my room? I have this feeling in my stomach of how familiar this all is."

"Of course son, it's just upstairs, the second door to the left."

Ross nodded and headed for the stairwell but not before turning around and smiling at Rachel. She sent a reassuring smile back, watching him disappear upstairs and perhaps allowing her eyes to linger a bit too long.

As soon as he was gone and out of ear shot, the two parents turned to Rachel wearing a look of concern and worry.

"So dear, how have you been… handling the situation?" Judy asked. They both knew about her feelings towards their son as she had confessed her love for him during the three months when he was in a coma. Surprisingly, they had been extremely pleased and supportive that she had finally realised what she wanted in her life and were also one of the first people she called after he had woken up.

"I'm ok I guess," she admitted, shuffling her feet a bit. "It's hard to say how I feel right now. Sometimes I'm just so happy that he's in my life again, and that I'm able to talk to him and be with him again. Other times, it hurts to know that it's not the same Ross I knew and loved before and it pains me to hide my feelings from him."

"Well Rachel, we'd just like to thank you for being there for him. We know how difficult this has been for you and how much of a sacrifice you're making, so thank you."

"It's the least I can do after he saved my life," she answered with a smile. "I owe him everything and he's my… everything, so hopefully everything works out in the end."

"We hope so too," Judy commented, "and to be honest, we never liked those other girls he's dated. We always knew you two were meant to be together, ever since you were kids and you'd come over to play with him and Monica. When you two first got together, we had thought it'd be it. I'm sorry it didn't work out but we hope you both can get back together again, and this time for good."

She sighed and looked towards the stairs, a small smile appearing on her face.

"I hope so too…"

…

Dinner had been fantastic and Rachel had been treated as though she was a part of the family, although she had always felt that way when she was with the Gellers. They were like the family she never had, always there for each other and looking out for each other. Unlike her own, where she had two unhappy parents and sisters who only cared about parties and getting laid, the Gellers have always made her feel at home.

To compliment the evening, it had seemed like returning to his childhood home had brought back old memories. Ross had surprised everyone when he began talking about different events that took place long before he went off to college, and even mentioned some memories of when he and Monica were kids, though she wasn't included in those memories. She had been so overwhelmed with emotion that she had begun to tear up. He was healing, slowly yes as he didn't mention anything about holidays or her prom night, but he was healing nonetheless and soon, she'd have her Ross back.

After dinner, she had politely excused herself to allow the family to have some time of their own. Now, she found herself exploring the rooms on the second floor, memories of how she had practically lived here during her childhood reappearing as she entered different rooms. She looked into the bathroom she and Monica had used to put on make-up for the first time as well as a closet they had stored their diaries in. She crossed Monica's old room, now turned into a personal gym, and memories of how much fun they had in that room popped into her head.

She passed by another few doors until she stopped at perhaps the only one she hadn't seen as much as others. It was Ross' old room and she tried to remember the last time she had been inside but couldn't find a specific date.

Curiosity got the better of her and she pushed open the door, flickering on the light to reveal a typical boy's room. The walls were painted blue, although certain parts looked faded. Multiple trophies and medals lined the bedroom shelves as a model of the solar system hung from above the bed. When she reached his old desk, she scanned over the number of old scientific books stacked across the desk until she noticed an odd slip of paper sticking out between two of them.

Pulling it out revealed a photo she hadn't seen before; younger versions of her, Ross, and Monica at what appeared to be a playground. It seemed like they were playing tag as she and Ross had been halfway through sliding down the slide while Monica was at the top, about to slide down after them, but what really caught her eye was how she and Ross had held hands while sliding down together. She smiled at the cute photo of them and understood exactly what Jack and Judy meant when they said they were always meant to be together.

She secretly tucked the photo into her pocket, planning on adding it to her photo album when she got back. She doubted anyone would care she took it, especially since she had only found it because of the little corner that had stuck out from its hiding spot. Looking around a bit more, she sat down on his bed, bouncing up and down a couple times. It really was weird for her to be in his room as this was pretty much the first time she had ever looked through at it so thoroughly.

As she lightly bounced up and down, something else caught her eye as she scanned the bookshelf across from her. The entire rack was filled with books, obviously, but what caught her attention was what appeared to be a small, thin box, secretly tucked away on the top shelf and carefully hidden from anyone who wasn't exactly looking for it. Its placement was odd among the rest of the books and to her, stuck out right away as something that didn't belong. Curious as always, she stood up and slid the box out from its hiding spot, returning to her spot on the bed.

She shook the box and heard something shift around. Unable to guess what was inside, she opened it up, placing the lid on the bed next to her. Expecting something extravagant or secretive, she was disappointed to find a bunch of letters, carefully folded and placed inside. She took them out to see if anything else was inside but alas, the letter were the only items inside. Still, she was puzzled as to why Ross had gone out of his way to hide a bunch of letters on his bookshelf. Grabbing the top one, she opened it to find out and gasped, quickly realising what it might be as she read the first word:

 _Rachel._

Not bothering to read the rest yet, she quickly grabbed the others and started flipping through them as well, not believing what she had just discovered. But sure enough, every single one started the same way and she knew at that moment, she had found what appeared to be Ross' stack of love letters, written to her back when he was in high school but never sent out.

Picking up the first letter she had found, she opened it completely and began reading.

 _Rachel._

 _You are so beautiful words cannot even begin to describe it._

 _Your eyes are like deep pools of ocean blue, washing away every evil in the world._

 _Your hair, so luscious and golden, compliments your incredible beauty and gives you an unmistakeable glow._

 _Your smile lights up my world whenever I see you and gives me hope for the future._

 _Your voice, so melodic and perfectly pitched sounds like something that came from the heavens._

 _Your big heart, the most amazing part of you is so caring and refuses to let others tell you what's right._

 _I love you so much Rachel, and yet, you don't have a clue about it._

 _I wish you would notice me,_

 _Ross_

Her hands trembled as she lowered the letter from her face. It was so sweet and possibly the most incredible thing anyone has ever written to her. She had known he had developed a crush on her throughout high school but she had no idea he had felt this much towards her.

"I wish I would have noticed you too…" she whispered as a single tear slid down her cheek and fell onto the letter, forming a shape that almost resembled a heart. She really did wish she had noticed him before and how amazing of a guy he was on the inside. Instead, she had become one of those shallow, popular girls who choose to ignore him because of his awkwardness. If only she hadn't been so arrogant and opened her eyes to the truth. If only she had found these letters sooner or even if he had given at least one of them to her. If only…

The door suddenly whipped open and she jumped, snapping out of her thoughts and hiding the letters behind her back. She wiped her tears with her sleeve and turned to the surprising visitor who just so happened to be the author of those letters.

"Hey Rachel, if you want to head to your dads we should leave now."

"Ok, I'll be right there."

She waited for him to leave but instead he stood there, looking at her with an inspective look. She gulped, hoping she hadn't been crying too hard.

"Are you ok?" he asked with so much concern in his voice, it was hard for her not to lie.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Your eyes are red."

She blinked a few times and dabbed her eyes with her sleeve. "Yeah, yeah I'm sure. It's probably just the dust in the room."

He thought about her answer for a moment but shrugged it off. "Ok, well I'll meet you downstairs then."

She nodded and faked a smile before he turned and shut the door, leaving her alone in his room once again. She quickly put the letters back in the box but hesitated when she held the one she had just read. Haven felt far too heart connected with the short letter, Rachel folded up the paper and slipped it into her pocket alongside the photo she had taken. The small box went back up onto the shelf and she hoped one day she'd read the rest of them but not alone.

She flicked the light off as she left but looked back into the darkened bedroom, taking it all in at once. A moment later, she smiled knowingly and closed the door.

…

 _Another house, another door_ , she thought to herself as they walked up to her father's mansion.

It had only taken a few minutes to get there and there was still some time left before the sun set; however she didn't plan on sticking around for too long. For one, if she knew her father, which she did, he could talk with her about every aspect of her life for hours, but the biggest reason she didn't want to stay too long was because of Ross. She wasn't quite sure how her father would react to him arriving, and though she had told him beforehand that she had accompanied Ross over and would be stopping by later, she knew her father had a very strong disliking towards him.

As she pressed the little button beside the door, the sound of the doorbell echoed through the air, literally screaming "rich" through its melodic tune. She felt Ross shift around uneasily and she had to laugh. He obviously wasn't used to the expensiveness of the household. A moment later, the door swung open, revealing a relieved and smiling Leonard Green.

"Daddy!" Rachel exclaimed, running into his open arms for a hug. As much as she hated to admit it, she would always be a daddy's girl.

"Welcome home pumpkin. I thought you wouldn't make it."

She pulled away and smiled. "Sorry daddy, we were held up at the Geller's for a bit."

Leonard frowned after hearing that family name. He reluctantly looked over at the man standing next to his daughter, nervous as always but also as clueless as he'll ever be. He didn't understand what his daughter saw in this man. All he saw was a weak, frail _boy_ who wasn't close to deserving of someone as his daughter.

"Dr. Green, nice to meet you," Ross greeted casually, extending a hand.

Leonard had to swallow his pride to be able to accept the handshake. He had to remind himself that the man who stood before him wasn't the same one from the last time he saw him.

"Good to see you too… Ross…" he said through gritted teeth, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rachel.

After a moment of awkward silence, Rachel broke the silence by suggesting they enter the house. Her father led them inside, bringing them to the living room where he already had some water out.

"I'm sorry pumpkin but my staff is out today so we won't be able to have dinner," he apologized, taking a seat in a rather expensive chair while Ross and Rachel found a spot on the couch. "If you're hungry, we can go out and eat."

"Oh no, daddy, that's ok. We already had dinner and besides, we're not staying for too long."

Her father nodded his head and the two began conversing like father and daughters do. He asked her questions on her job and living arrangements, where she had to calmly explain to her father why she was living with Ross without giving out too much detail as he was sitting right next to her. That brought up the talk on money where he persisted on giving her some money for rent while she refused, stating that she chose to be independent so that she could earn everything herself. Their talk lasted for almost half an hour; all the while Ross remained silent, staring at nothing in particular.

Leonard eventually noticed his inattentiveness and decided to question it.

"What are you looking at Geller?" he asked with a little annoyance.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry Dr. Green. I was just admiring the architecture in this room. Is this particular design European by any chance?"

His response seemed to come as a surprised to the man who raised his eyebrows questioning. "Yes, it is. The house is based off of a Greek design, honouring my father's native land. How did you know that?"

"Well, I have always taken an interest in European architecture, that is, if I remember correctly," Ross explained. "The Greek particularly have a way with the elegancy of the colour white, which is something I noticed immediately in this room."

Leonard was baffled at his extensive knowledge but at the same time, was genuinely impressed. Rachel all the while smiled off to the side, seeing the look on her father's face and proud that he was actually impressed with Ross' knowledge. As the two men spoke a little on household design, she reached over and gave Ross' hand a squeeze, showing how proud of him she was.

A few minutes later, Ross checked his watch and tapped on Rachel's shoulders, standing up.

"We better get going soon. Rachel has work tomorrow and it's almost 8." He extended a hand to her father who surprisingly, accepted it without a second glance. "It was nice speaking with you Dr. Green."

"Likewise Ross," he responded and the two men nodded at each other.

"Rachel, I'll meet you outside in the car alright?"

"Ok," she answered softly and watched him leave through the front door. As soon as the door shut closed, her father turned to her with an intrigued look.

"What happened to him?"

"Daddy, you already know… There was that car crash and now he has amnesia…"

"So you're telling me because he lost his capability to love, he's turned from a wimpy little boy into a sophisticated and well-mannered man?"

Realising what her father was talking about, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. "If you're talking about the architecture thing, he's always been into that. He's still the same Ross with the same characteristics and hobbies daddy. Maybe if you hadn't judged him so quickly before, you would have gotten to know this side of him earlier."

Seeing her father frown, Rachel had to smile at his facial response. It was rare for her father to ever be proven wrong, making this moment one to remember.

"I still don't see what you see in him," he stated randomly and instantly, her face hardened.

"Daddy!" She couldn't believe he just said that.

"Pumpkin, I just don't want to see you hurt anymore. He's still the same man who cheated on you with some whore, on your anniversary nonetheless!"

"And he's also the one who kept me safe in that car crash and sacrificed himself for me!" she snapped back, irritated at her father's irrational feelings towards the man she cared for the most. "He saved my life and right now, he's suffering from that decision. I owe him everything and frankly, you should too! He more than made up for what happened in the past."

"Yes, but wouldn't you rather have a secured future; financially stable and safe? Rachel, you're over 30 and still aren't anywhere close to receiving a ring from anyone. Don't you want a family? What happened to Barry? Don't you want a proper future where you know exactly what will happen later?"

"No! No I don't and that's exactly why I left Barry at the altar! I'd rather have a shaky, unstable relationship with someone who I truly care about and actually _want_ to spend the rest of my life with than go back to that life I had with Barry. I don't care if you don't like him or his career because this is my life and I get to choose who I want to be with and what my future will look like, and the only person who I want to share that future with is Ross."

She's never stood up to her father like this before but it felt good to let off what she was really feeling and what she really wanted. However, as soon as she finished, she braced for an earful from talking back to her father and waited for the yelling to start.

Except it didn't.

Instead, she watched as her father's expression go from serious and angry to calm and understanding. She was extremely surprised when he came closer and wrapped his arms around her in a hug and she hesitated before hugging him back. She wasn't used to her father being so affectionate so she didn't know exactly what to expect from here on out.

"I'm sorry pumpkin. I know I'm strict on you but I hope you know I just want what's best for my little girl."

Her face softened and now, she properly hugged back. "I know daddy."

She felt him pull away and look directly into her eyes, as if telling her he wanted complete honesty on what he was about to ask. "Just answer this; do you truly love him?"

A small smile crept onto her face as she nodded slowly. "I do, I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me too. He just doesn't know it yet."

"Well then, if that's how you feel then I won't stand in your way of being with him anymore," He smiled back like only a father could, "and I'll always be here to support you and help you if you ever need anything; for both of you."

"Thank you daddy, thank you so much," she said while embracing her father one more time.

"Anything for you pumpkin," he said. A moment later, he broke the hug again and gave her a slight push towards the door. "Now get out there to your boyfriend, he's been waiting for almost 10 minutes now."

She smiled as he kissed her on the cheek. She headed for the front door, turning around before opening it.

"Bye daddy."

"Bye pumpkin," he responded and she left out the door.

Walking out onto her porch, she spotted him leaning against the car waiting for her. The rays of the setting sun shone around him, creating an almost fairy-type scene. Like the Prince Charming in her life, he practically glowed from the lighting and she felt her heart begin to pound against her chest.

As soon as he heard her small footsteps walk across the pavement, he looked up and locked eyes with her, sending her a soft smile. She returned it and walked over to him, embracing him in a tight hug and catching him by surprise.

"What's this for?" he asked in an amused tone.

She just shrugged and looked up at him, glancing into his deep hazel eyes. "I don't know, I'm just really happy."

He paused for a moment then squeezed her back. "Well then so am I."

They shared a smile and she let out a content sigh, resting her head against his chest. This truly was the man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.

A moment later, she looked back up at him with so much love and longing in her eyes, she was surprised he didn't notice it. Instead, he gave her one of the most adorable and sweet smiles which made her melt on the inside.

"Let's go home."

…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **I'd like to apologize for the poor chapter earlier. It had received some mixed reviews and I personally didn't enjoy writing it either. I hope the rest of the story will make up for it because I sure want to forget about it.**

…

Rachel walked out of the kitchen into the living room, carrying her plate of lasagna Monica had given to them as leftovers from the previous night. She gently set it down on the apothecary table, plopping down next to Ross on the couch who was watching the TV attentively. A documentary about some sort of newly discovered plant played in front of them as they ate, obviously something he'd take an interest to but not for her.

He cut a small piece of lasagna and inserted it into his mouth, turning his head to meet her pleading look. He chuckled and handed her the remote, knowing all too well of her regularly scheduled _E! News_ program.

"Thank you," she chimed and gave him a coy smile as she pressed a button to change the channel. The screen immediately flipped to a video of celebrities walking across the red carpet as the flash of multiple cameras shone in the background.

"Wow, look how beautiful she looks in that dress," Rachel commented, pointing at the screen as Jennifer Aniston walked across the red carpet in a flourishing black dress.

He merely shrugged, swallowing the food that was in his mouth. "Eh, she's ok but I think you're far prettier than she is."

"Aww, you're sweet," she cooed, blushing slightly. "You're not so bad yourself. I'd pick you over that David Schwimmer guy any day of the week." She added as the cast of some popular television show waved at the cameras.

They shared a laugh and continued to eat. On occasion, she would make a comment on a passing celebrity, whether on their clothes or some drama that they were a part of. She was a huge gossip after all, but other than that, it was just a typical, quiet evening.

After dinner, Rachel stood up to return the dishes to the kitchen when she noticed a few unfamiliar magazines sitting on the chair near the door.

"What's this? Today's mail?" she asked, picking the stack up. She flipped through the new Vogue magazine on the front and made a mental note to look it over later.

"Yeah I got it in the morning and set it aside for you," he answered, sipping some water, "most of it's yours anyways."

She scanned through the rest of the stack, passing by a few other magazines until she stopped at an envelope placed in between her Cosmopolitan magazine and Ross' Discover magazine. Taking it out, she set aside the rest of the stack and sat back down on the couch.

"Whatcha got there?" he asked, eyeing the envelope in her hands.

"I don't know, let's find out I guess."

She ripped open the letter and took out the letter inside. Unfolding it and scanning it over quickly, she gasped realising what it was.

"Oh my God, do you know what this is?" she exclaimed excitedly, waiving the paper in front of his face.

"Well I might if I could actually see it," he joked and earned a playful slap on the shoulder.

"It's your medical reports! The hospital must have sent it over this morning." She read through the first few pages, mostly all medical terms that she didn't quite understand but stopped when a specific part caught her eye, making her smile widely. "Look, look, look! It says here 'Ross Geller is cleared to resume all regular activities to his own discretion'."

"Really?" he perked up and scooted over closer to have a better look.

"Yeah! See it says right here!" she pointed out.

He took the pages out of her hand and read it quietly to himself. "Huh, well I guess I'm going to work tomorrow," he said, turning to her with a smile.

"Ooh, that's so great!" She reached over and gave him quick hug. Feeling unusually playful today, she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck.

"Stop that!" he laughed, pushing her away lightly. He began tickling her sides as revenge, making her squirm around in an uncontrollable laughter.

"Hahahah! Stop!... S-ha-top!... Ok you win! You win!"

He stopped tickling her and they both lied back on the couch, catching their breath. As their breathing returned to normal and their heart rate slowed, he raised his arm and peered at his watch.

"Look at the time. If I'm planning on going to work tomorrow I better get to bed."

"Aww, you're going already?" she stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. He laughed and stood up, picking up the dishes she was originally supposed to bring into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I don't want to fall asleep on the first day. Besides, shouldn't you be going to bed soon too? Don't you have that work meeting early in the morning?"

"No, that's _optional_ ," she responded. "Hey wait, why don't I go with you tomorrow? I can call in sick or something."

Ross shook his head. "You can't do that Rach, that's your job. What would you even do at my work? You'd be stuck in lectures about dinosaurs all day; two things you can't stand listening to."

She had to laugh at that. He knew her so well. He was always so attentive of her likes and dislikes, one of her favourite traits about him.

"Alright, well anyways, I'm going to stay up for a bit longer," she said, plopping back down onto the couch and flipping through the channels on TV.

"Ok, don't stay up too late." He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, sending a wave of warmth through her body. She loved how he started doing that again.

"Good night."

"G'night."

She continued flipping through the channels, hearing him leave the kitchen and closing the door to the bedrooms. Finding nothing too appealing to her, she returned to _E! News_ and set the remote onto the apothecary table, picking up the medical papers instead.

She read through them again and sighed in relief. He was going to be ok. He was already healing and his strength had returned to his legs surprisingly quickly. Now all she needed was his memories to return and he'd be complete.

She'd have her Ross back.

…

Rachel sat in the living room, impatiently flipping through her new Vogue magazine even though she had already read through the whole thing twice. She groaned and skimmed the rest, flipping it to the end and lazily threw it onto the table. She glanced at the clock on the wall, then back at the magazines on the table, then back to the clock on the wall.

8:01 P.M.

She let out a huff and grabbed a random magazine, flipping it open to a random page and merely scanning it with her eyes. She was irritated and annoyed, and when she's was irritated and annoyed, she tends to be extremely fidgety.

The night was supposed to go extremely well, especially since she actually planned it all out. It was the first day Ross returned to work and she had decided to surprise him when he got home with a nice dinner out and maybe a movie afterwards. She had gotten all dressed up for it too, wearing an elegant dress for the occasion, casual enough to pass but classy enough to fit her fashion needs. After getting dressed and applying some light make-up, she had waited patiently in the living room for his return.

That had been at 5:00.

Of course, just her luck that the one thing that she counted on the most and was also the most essential part of her plan just so happened to never show up. And though it was never planned on being a date, she had never felt more stood up.

Long since then had she undressed and broken out the sweats, feeling dejected and unhappy. She didn't know if she was supposed to be saddened that her plans didn't work out or angry that he never showed up. And so now, almost 3 hours since she expected him to be home, she impatiently fidgeted around, waiting for the front door to open and for her to confront him when he walked in. It wasn't like she had any other plans for the night and now that she thought about it; she was stupid to not have a back-up plan just for cases like these.

Just as she was about to give up and head to Monica's to see what she was up to, the door swung open revealing the person she'd wanted to see all day. Before she started to say anything, she began studying him, seeing that he looked different than when he left in the morning. He wore a plain white t-shirt underneath his jacket, probably a hidden undershirt he had worn. An unfamiliar towel was thrown across his shoulder and in his hand was the collared shirt she had seen him wear in the morning along with his brief case.

"Hey Rach," he greeted casually, hanging up his jacket on the coat hanger.

"Where have you been?" she asked directly, trying to use a strict tone but found it hard to do so when his adorable, innocent face peered at her from the doorway.

"At the gym, did you know I had a membership this entire time that I never knew about?"

"Y-you were at the _gym_? Like… working out?" All of a sudden, all her possible anger disappeared as flashing images of a bare chest, muscular Ross began appearing in her mind.

"Yeah it was great! After work, I went there for like two hours before I grabbed some dinner at some spaghetti place," he explained, setting his briefcase and shirt on a nearby chair.

"Oh…" Her facial expression saddened and she awkwardly played with a few strands of her hair. She knew it wasn't his fault since it was a surprise and he had no idea about it but it still hurt, even though it probably shouldn't.

Reading her emotions like a book he walked over and took a seat on the couch, reaching out and grabbing her hands.

"Hey, you ok? Did something happen today?" he asked in a soft, concerning voice.

"No, no, I'm fine. Nothing happened today… it was what was supposed to happen that I'm sad about."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow. "And what _was_ supposed to happen today?"

"Well…" She sat up and cleared her throat before continuing. "I, uh, actually had a surprise for you when you got back. I was planning on taking you out to dinner, you know, to kind of celebrate your first day back at work."

"What? Really? You planned that for me?" he asked with astonishment and she nodded reluctantly. "Oh, I'm so sorry Rachel. If I had known then I wouldn't have chosen today to try out that gym membership."

"Well if you had known it wouldn't have been a surprise now would it?" she joked lightly, although she was still a bit upset over the whole thing. All she wanted to do was spend some time with him but that never ended up happening.

"I guess not," he laughed along, but glanced into her eyes as he spoke. "But I am really sorry that I didn't come back early enough for us to go. It was a really sweet gesture, so thank you, but you should know that we don't need some fancy dinner to celebrate. As long as I'm with you, we can celebrate as much as you want."

She allowed a smile to appear onto her face as they locked eyes. How he always seemed to lighten up her mood, she would never know. But at the same time, she would never trade it for anything as it's what made him special from everyone else. No one could ever make her feel the things he made her feel, no one.

"So, have you had dinner yet?" he asked a moment later, breaking the silence by releasing her hand and standing up.

"Yeah, I ended up ordering some Chinese."

"Great, why don't I take a quick shower and then we can head over to Monica's?"

"Monica's? What's going on at Monica's?" she asked, standing up as well.

"Well, I bumped into Monica on my way over to the gym and she wanted me to tell you that she wants us over for some movie night or something. Apparently she got everyone else to come so it was important that we went too."

"Movie night, huh? That sounds pretty cool," she thought about, remembering when they used to have those all the time.

"Yeah, I thought so too. Just give me a couple minutes to shower and change, ok?"

"Ok," she answered and watched as he left for the bathroom.

For some reason, after he left, the only thing she could picture was how attractive his body must be while he was working out. She imagined him lifting some weights and his large muscles contracting and bulging as he did. Then her imagination wandered a bit and the scene turned from the gym to the beach. She pictured him working out and her sauntering over to him, wrapping her small arms from around his back and feeling his toned abs. He would then turn around, lifting her up into a kiss so passionate, if he wasn't holding onto her she would have undoubtedly fallen over.

All of a sudden, her eyes shot open as she heard the door to the bedrooms open and he reappeared in a comfortable pair of pants and a nice sweater. Had she been day-dreaming the entire time? Seeing him walk out made her blush furiously, her thoughts returning to the scenario still fresh in her mind and she turned away quickly.

"Ready to go?" he asked casually.

"Y-yeah, I'm ready."

"What were you thinking about?" he continued to question as he grabbed both their jackets and opened the door for them.

"N-nothing," she stammered, "just something about work." He nodded his head, accepting her response and closed the door behind them as they left together for Monica's.

…

"This is nice," Monica said as she walked into the living room, placing a large bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. "When was the last time we had a movie night?"

"Well if you're asking me, in the few weeks I've been around, I'd have to say never," Ross joked.

"And that's why I'm not asking you," she replied with a smile.

"You know, I think the last time we had a movie night, you chose the movie," Phoebe pointed out, motioning to Ross.

His eyes widened in curiosity. "Really? And what movie did I choose?"

"Jurassic Park."

"Of course I'd choose that one," he laughed and the others couldn't help but join in.

"So what did you guys do all day today?" Rachel asked.

"Ooh, you know that Tim guy I was dating and Monica wanted to fire?" Phoebe started. "Yeah, well coincidence! Today, I called him to break up when Monica beeped him to fire him!"

"Poor guy, and after all that hard work, you guys still ended up doing it on the same day," Ross inquired.

Monica cleared her throat and sheepishly looked at Phoebe. "Well actually… I didn't fire him…"

"Yeah, Monica over here gets one little compliment and now all is forgiven."

"Hey! He called me the best chef he knew! I couldn't lay him off after that!"

Everyone rolled their eyes at Monica's ridiculous amount of pride.

"What about you Chandler? Did you get that 'Toby' thing sorted out?" Ross asked afterwards.

"Nah, I figured if Bob found out I was actually Chandler and not Toby, he'd probably hurt me so I trashed my office with him instead."

"And you Joe?"

Joey just shrugged, taking a hand full of popcorn. "Eh, shot a few scenes for Days of our Lives and had sex at lunch so just a normal day for me."

"Oh Ross, how was your first day back at work?" Monica questioned.

"It was really good actually," he said and Rachel gave him a small smile, "they're giving me flexible hours to accommodate for the amnesia but they're still letting me teach some of my classes."

"That's great! I'm so glad you're getting back on your feet. So what did you do for the rest of the afternoon?"

"I hit the gym for a few hours; met this really cool guy, Mike Hannigan, there then grabbed some dinner." He then turned to Rachel and nudged her playfully on the arm. "But it turns out Rachel over here wanted to take me out for a surprise dinner which I ended up missing out on."

She blushed and nudged him back. "It was nothing."

"Sorry, did I just hear that you went to the gym?" Chandler asked, astounded as were the other three.

"Yeah, I found some membership in my wallet and decided to try it out."

Rachel laughed at her friends' expressions on their faces. "Yeah, Chandler, remember that gym you kept trying to get out of but never could?"

"Remember!? I still get charged 50 bucks a month to my joint checking account!"

All of a sudden, Joey just burst out laughing and everyone shot him a confused look.

"It wasn't that funny Joe…" Chandler said.

"No, I have this picture of Ross going to the gym in my head," he chuckled, wiping away a fake tear. "Even _I_ don't go to the gym."

"Is it really that hard to believe that I went to the gym? How pathetic and weak was I before?" Ross asked in no one in particular.

"Very."

"You were pretty pathetic."

"You threw your hip out carrying a couch."

"You bruise like a peach."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, now I'm the new and improved Ross Geller who'll hit the gym 4 times a week."

Everyone chuckled except Rachel who leaned over and rubbed his arm. "Don't listen to them Ross, I think it's great that you're working out."

"Ha! That's not what you said the last time…" Monica teased.

She harshly turned to her and sent a glare. "Things were… _different_ last time." In all seriousness, that was the truth. The only reason she had been so negative the last time 'Ross' and 'gym' were used in the same sentence was because they had recently broke up… again, but she had secretly loved the image of a hunky Ross that had appeared in her mind at the time.

Deciding to change the subject, she quickly cleared her throat. "Anyways, what movie are we going to watch?"

"Well, I've got Weekend at Bernie's and It's a Wonderful Life over here," Monica said, looking over her shoulder, "and I got a couple other classics in the cupboard under the TV."

"We've already seen all those, let's try something new," Phoebe said.

"What? I love Weekend at Bernie's, let's watch that one," Rachel suggested.

"No!" they all yelled at the same time, making her startle. Thanks to her, the others have seen that movie too many times over the years and were not looking to spend the night watching it again.

"Oh, what about a horror movie?" Joey proposed.

"Hey, I actually like that idea," Phoebe said and Chandler nodded in agreement.

"No! I hate horror movies and I scare easily!" Rachel whined.

"Don't be such a wuss," Monica teased. "Alright Joe, we'll go with the horror movie."

"Yes!" he exclaimed, jumping up from his chair. "I rented Cujo a few days ago so let's watch that!" He sprinted out of the apartment as everyone settled in for the movie.

"No, come on guys, I really don't like horror films," Rachel persisted. "I get nightmares when I do."

"Aw come on Rach, it'll be fine," Ross said, gently rubbing her shoulder. "Besides, I'll be right here if you need me."

She seemed to consider her options but eventually caved, reaching out for his hand and interlacing her fingers with his.

"Ok…" she said in a soft voice and gave his hand a tight squeeze.

"Ow! Hey, the movie hasn't even started yet!"

"I know, but I'm already scared," she responded and snuggled up onto his arm.

…

A loud scream burst from the television set as it was echoed in real life. Rachel quickly shut her eyes and whimpered as she hid her face into Ross' shoulder, gripping onto his arm as if her life depended on it. Just as she'd said, she had been terrified right from the start. If not for the occasional scream or whimper, she had spent most of the movie looking away from the TV screen, or more specifically, buried in his chest, shoulder, or neck.

Everyone who was still watching flinched in disgust as the crazed dog ripped a piece of human flesh clean off the bone, foam dripping from his mouth and onto the bloodied pavement. Monica too, had clutched onto Chandler at some point in the movie as they sat together tightly in his chair. Even Phoebe had to look away a couple times due to disgust or pure fright. Only the guys managed to watch without reacting as far as the girls did. Joey, who was practically laughing the entire movie, had no problem with the horror whatsoever and Chandler had become accustom to the late night horror movies during his time living with him. Ross on the other hand felt as though he had been through far worse than the injuries on screen and instead spent most of the movie comforting the shivering woman in his arms.

"I-is it over?" he heard her whisper in a shaky voice.

"Hold on…" he responded, watching as the dog devoured the human flesh as if it were a gourmet piece of steak. He kept watching, making a face of disgust as he did until the camera finally switched to a different scene. "… ok, it's over now."

She nodded and slowly turned her head back to the screen, shaking slightly as she did. Unfortunately as soon as her eyes locked onto the TV she was treated to a sudden jump scare that made her scream and jump a little.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no…" she practically cried into his shoulder as he enveloped her in a hug, rubbing her shoulders. "I-I don't want to watch anymore, I don't."

"Shh, it's ok, you don't have to watch, no one's making you watch," he soothed and hugged her tighter to show he was there for her.

Meanwhile, Joey looked around at the room who was terrified at what was going on on-screen. He chuckled silently and suddenly, decided to have a little fun with it. He caught Chandler's eye, grinning from ear to ear as he motioned towards the doorway. He had to take a moment to understand what he was trying to do but once he did, a mischievous grin also appeared on Chandler's face as well.

Just as another jump scare appeared that made the girls shriek in the room, Joey snuck away silently while Chandler provided a substantial distraction by hugging Monica closer to his body.

As Ross continued to tend to the shaking Rachel in his arms, all of a sudden, the lights in the apartment began to flicker until they all went out. As soon as darkness engulfed the group, the sound of a harsh barking outside from the television set echoed through the room, resulting in all the girls to scream at the top of their lungs in fear.

All this lasted for a good minute until the lights all came back on at once, followed by laughter near the doorway and a slightly chuckle from Chandler.

"Haha! Gotcha!" Joey exclaimed, walking back into the living room with a satisfied smirk. However, he was met with many negative reactions unlike his. Monica sent him a deadly glare from beneath Chandler's arm and Phoebe wore a dirty look that had 'death' all over it as she continued to clutch onto the pillow she had against her chest.

The biggest reaction, however, was not a negative one but was Rachel's small shaking form curled up on Ross lap. When the lights had first gone out, she had been so petrified; she had leaped onto his body for protection. Now that the lights were back on, everyone saw how she continued to tremble in shock and fear, even releasing a few sobs into his chest as she clung onto Ross' body for dear life. If they knew any better, they'd think she was having a panic attack.

"Joey, that wasn't funny at all. Look what you did to Rachel. She was already terrified from the movie and you just made it worse," Ross said with a fierce look, glaring at the so-called 'prankster'.

"Oh…" was all he could say when he saw Rachel crying and he immediately felt guilty. Ross ignored him, however, and turned his attention to her trembling body.

"Shh, sweetie I'm right here. It's ok….it's ok," he comforted in a soft voice, stroking her hair as he gently rocked her in his arms. "Don't cry. Shh, it's over. It wasn't real. It's over…"

After a moment, he felt her calm down a bit as the trembling stopped and all that was left was her small sobs being muffled by the fabric of his sweater. He tenderly kissed the top of her forehead, holding her closer to him to give her comfort as she quieted down.

"Listen Rach, I'm really sorry. I didn't think you'd be that scared, I'm sorry," Joey apologized, scratching the back of his head as he wore a very guilty look. In response, she merely looked up at him, fresh tears still in her eyes but she managed a slight nod of her head.

"Did you have anything to do with that?" Monica asked harshly, turning to Chandler in the chair.

He immediately swallowed and pulled the collar of his shirt. "W-what? Little old me? Of course… not…"

Monica scowled and slapped his arm. "Don't expect getting any tonight," she stated in a quiet, angry tone and his face dropped.

A moment later, Rachel shifted her positioning in Ross' lap and he wiped away some stray tears that rested on her cheek.

"C-can we watch something else?" Rachel asked in a small voice, recovering slightly from her lack of composure.

"Of course we can sweetie," Ross answered softly, turning to his sister. "Mon, how about we watch Weekend at Bernie's for the rest of the night?"

"Sure thing," she responded and grabbed the movie to replace the horrific one that had been on screen a minute ago.

And no one had a problem with that.

…

About an hour and a half later, the credits began to roll, putting an end to an interesting movie night as everyone stretched out in their seats. Ross stretched his arms above him, yawning as he did but focused his attention on the small sleeping form snuggled up on his chest.

At some point in the move, Rachel had dozed off, fully recovered from the horror movie trauma and happily rested in his lap. She was curled into a little ball; arms wrapped around his torso with her head snuggled on his chest as if it were a pillow. He was relieved to see a small smile on her face as she slept; truly a sleeping angel.

"Wow, just look at her," he heard Monica comment as he saw how everyone was watching Rachel sleep. "To think just a moment ago, she was trembling in fear and now she's sound asleep."

"Yeah Ross, you must be really good at that whole comforting thing," Phoebe added.

"I guess so," he said, looking down at her with a smile. "I'm just glad she's calmed down from that trauma earlier."

Moments passed in silence as he just looked at her as she slept peacefully in his arms. He remembered when he first laid eyes on her when he had awakened from his coma. Back then, he believed she was the most beautiful woman in the world and up until now, he still stood by that belief. She looked so cute when she was asleep and like a baby girl resting, it was hard for him to take his eyes off her.

Ross cleared his throat and looked at the others, motioning at the sleeping form. "It's getting late; I think we're going to head back now." He began to gently nudge her body but all he got in response was more cuddling and a soft sight escaping her lips.

"Looks like she doesn't want to go," Chandler laughed quietly.

"That's fine; I'll just carry her over." As careful and gentle as can be, he picked her up in his arms and stood up, making sure not to wake her as he did. Her arms unconsciously found their way around his neck and she shifted her head to rest on his shoulder. "Thanks for the movie night Mon; it was a lot of fun. We should do it again some time."

"Sure, whenever you want," she smiled and helped him by setting their jackets on Rachel's body, almost like a blanket. "Make sure you get her home safely."

"I will. Bye guys."

The rest of them said their goodbyes and watched as he carried her out the door, watching every corner and treating her as the Queen was in his arms. When they disappeared, the four of them looked at each other with smiles of their own.

"Is it weird that they act like a couple even though they're not?" Chandler questioned.

"Nope, it just shows how their meant to be together," Monica answered and sighed happily. "They're soul mates."

"They're lobsters."

…

As he entered the apartment, he quietly closed the front door behind him, managing to lock it with the hand holding up her legs. He walked over to the couch and gently tipped her forward, allowing their jackets to slide off before he headed for the bedrooms.

Cautiously kicking her door open, he strolled in, not bothering to opening the lights and carefully set her down on the bed. Looking around the room, he noticed the small changes she had made including an extra closet for her clothes and a make-up drawer she had bought a few days ago. Aside from that, everything was just how he remembered it from a couple weeks back and he could see how she had made herself home here.

He peered back down at her sleeping form and saw how the moonlight from the window glimmered on her face, making her glow in the night. Her skin was so soft and the smile she wore as she slept was so adorable, he could stay there all night watching her sleep.

After a few minutes, he yawned silently, deciding to get some sleep of his own. He gently draped the blankets over her but not before he retrieved her little stuffed bear which, unknown to him she had named 'Ross'. He gently tucked her in, stroking the side of her face and leaning over to plant a tender kiss on her forehead.

As he slowly reeled back from the small kiss, he was surprised to see her beautiful blue eyes staring back at him through the dark. Instead of saying anything, he just stared into her eyes as she did to him, looking into each other's souls and feeling some strange connection with her that he had never felt before.

"Thank you," she whispered eventually, giving an innocent smile.

He smiled back, planting another kiss on her forehead, however as he moved back, he noticed her lift her chin slightly as if asking for something more. Caught up in the moment and with the unfamiliar feeling he felt inside of him, he leaned over one more time and this time, connected with her on the lips. It didn't last long, a small peck at most, but he still caught the taste of her strawberry lipstick as he pulled away and smiled into her eyes.

"Sweet dreams Rachel," he said softly before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as the door shut, she closed her eyes and sighed, trying to re-imagine the kiss he had just given her that she'd been craving for too long. It was a small one and probably didn't mean anything to him, but to her, it meant everything and a large smile found its way onto her face as she dozed off once again.

Her dreams would indeed be sweet.

…

 **Author's Note: By the way, I hope you liked those little episode snips I added in since it sure as hell took a while to research them all. I decided to have this chapter take place at around Season 8 Episode 5's TOW Rachel's Date, which is why I made references to Tim, Monica's sous-chef and Bob, the guy at Chandler's work who thinks Chandler's name is Toby.**

 **Also, the gang watched,** _ **Cujo**_ **, is the one that Joey and Rachel watched in TOW Joey Dates Rachel. I never actually watched the movie since I hate horror flicks but the Wiki page said it's about some rabid dog that traps its owners in a car. Not sure how that plot is supposed to advance but I just added in my own thoughts of some possible scenes that might have made an appearance in the film.**

 **That's really all. I thought you guys might like some insight on the extra things I added in. Hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave a review. Till next time.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was a normal afternoon and the guys sat around Central Perk, drinking some coffee and catching up after work. Chandler and Joey were seated on the couch discussing last night's Nicks' game as Ross sat on one of the chairs, listening in while reading an interesting headline from today's paper.

Recently he's had a lot on his mind, stuff that he still wasn't quite sure of just yet. It's been almost 7 weeks since he's woken up from his coma and only in the past few days has he been experiencing strange flashbacks as if his memories were attempting to return but were still having trouble crossing that line. He hadn't spoken to anyone yet since he didn't want to freak them out but there had been something he'd been wanting to know about and decided now might be a good time to bring it up.

"See, if they had just passed it back to the point, it would have been an easy 3-pointer and they would have won the game," Chandler reasoned.

"Exactly!" Joey agreed, shoving a muffin into his mouth.

A silence passed as they each turned to their food or beverages. It was at this point where Ross decided to pop his question and see what kind of answer he'd get in response.

He cleared his throat to get their attention. "Chandler, could I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said as he took a sip of his latte.

"What kind of relationship do you and my sister have?"

As soon as he asked that question, Chandler's eyes widened and he spat out the coffee in his mouth. He began to couch uncontrollably, his face turning red as he did and Joey reached over to pat his friend on the back, also wearing a similar look of shock.

"Wh-what?" he finally managed between coughs.

"Are you ok man?"

"Y-yeah I'm fine." Chandler finally regained his composure and sat up straight. "What were you asking about?"

"The relationship between you and my sister," he repeated.

"What about it?" he delayed in a nervous tone, shooting Joey a quick glance. They both shared the same uncertain look, unsure of what exactly to say.

"I mean… ok, well you live together and you're very affectionate around each other so I assume you're close with each other."

"Yeah you could say that." He awkwardly pulled the collar of his shirt. He did not expect this to happen when he had been invited for some coffee with the guys and he was being extremely cautious with what he said, knowing very well what the consequences might be. He looked at Joey who just shook his head and backed away, obviously wanting nothing to do with this situation.

"So you're together." Ross inquired.

"Um, yeah."

"Like, together together."

"What are we, teenagers?" Chandler joked and began laughing extremely uncomfortably. He nudged Joey and he too began laughing nervously.

Ross raised an amused eyebrow, unsure of why they found his joke so funny. "Ok but seriously," he persisted, stopping their laughter, "so you two are dating."

Chandler cleared his throat. "Um… we're a little more than dating…"

"Right, so that explains the ring."

Both their eyes widened as large as saucer plates and they just stared at him with shocked expressions. He could tell that Chandler tried to say something but nothing came out so he nudged Joey on the side.

"W-what ring?" Joey played dumb after snapping out of his shock.

"The ring on Monica's finger. You know; the little diamond one on the fourth finger of her left hand?"

Chandler snapped back to reality and began gesturing with his hand like he does when he's in nervous situations. "Right, the ring! The ring… the ring! It's just a normal ring, nothing special about it, just a normal ring. Just an average, run-of-the-mill ring. Right Joe?"

"Right!" Joey added after being bumped by Chandler's arm. They both gave him an awkward smile and he chuckled at their strange antics.

"Come on guys, I'm not stupid. I've got a PhD for God's sake," he stated, still chuckling slightly. "I know it's a special ring, it even has a name. What's it called? An erratic ring...? An… ensheathed… enduring… en…"

"Engagement ring!" Joey suddenly burst and earned a dark glare from Chandler. "What? I always lose at that game!"

"Engagement ring!" Ross snapped his fingers. "That's the one! Thanks Joe."

"Yeah thanks Joe…" Chandler growled under his breath and he sheepishly looked at the ground.

"Right, so it's an engagement ring; something associated with marriages."

Suddenly both their heads jerked back towards him with facial expressions even more shocked than the previous ones, if that was possible.

"Wh-what? H-how do you know that?" Chandler questioned in a shaky tone, practically sweating in his seat.

"I don't know, I think I just remembered it," he answered truthfully. "But listen, I've been having these-"

"Y-you remembered it?" Chandler cut him off, not letting him finish. "Like by yourself? You remembered it by yourself?"

"Yeah I guess so but there's this-"

Chandler stood up, interrupting him once again. He began motioning at him with his hand as he spoke rapidly.

"You remembered this on your own. You remembered stuff about marriages without _any_ influence from us. None from us at all. Everything was from you, Ross Geller; _you_ remembered this without _any_ help from us whatsoever."

"Yes, do you need to repeat it again to make sure or are we clear?" he joked, very much confused as to why he was acting so strange. "Look, I need to tell you guys about this thing-"

"Oh! Look at the time!" Chandler suddenly announced, motioning at his watch. "Joey, we better get going! We have that… _thing_ we need to get to!"

"Right that _thing_!" Joey hastily stood up as well. "Sorry Ross, this is a really important _thing_."

"Um… ok?" was all he could say, scratching the back of his head. "But I really need to tell you guys something."

"Sorry pal, we've really got to go otherwise we'll be late!" Chandler spoke in the same nervous tone as before. "Talk to Rachel about it, oh and remember, you found out about all this _on your own_."

"Uh yeah, ok, sure. I'll see you later then."

"Bye!" they both said at the same time and he watched as they both practically sprinted out of the coffee house.

He just sat there staring at the door, a very confused expression plastered on his face. He wondered why his friends had acted so strangely, especially after he mentioned stuff about Monica's engagement ring. He didn't even get to tell them about what was really on his mind since Chandler started acting all weird before he could find out about anything.

He still needed someone to talk to and decided that he'd talk to Rachel about it once she came home from work. Ross took a sip of his coffee and grabbed the paper again, still wondering why his friends had become so nervous around him.

…

As Ross sat in the living room, going over some notes for tomorrow's class, he heard the door open and he turned his head to greet his roommate. In came a joyful Rachel who gave him a warm smile before hanging up her jacket.

"Hey you," she greeted, sauntering over to him.

"Hey you, how was work?"

"Ugh, don't even get me started…" she groaned, plopping down on the couch next to him. "I had this presentation today and I swear Mr. Zelner was giving me the dirtiest look the entire time."

"Maybe he was angry about something else," he suggested as she lazily leaned against his shoulder. He turned his body around and gently began massaging her shoulders, seeing how she could use the relaxation.

"Maybe…" she whispered and closed her eyes, enjoying the massage.

After a couple minutes of silence, aside from the occasional soft moan emitted from her parted lips, he finally decided to pop the question that's been on his mind for a while.

"Ok so listen," he started, removing his hands off her shoulders, earning a disappointing sigh. She reluctantly turned to look at him with a pouty face, obviously wanting that massage to last longer.

"What's up?"

"Alright, um, well there's been something on my mind lately and I've been meaning to talk with someone about it. I kind of brought it up with Chandler and Joey today but they started acting all strange and told me to talk to you."

Immediately, her body shot up and she gave him her full attention. Could it be? Could this be what she thought it was? Have his feelings for her returned or better yet, has he remembered some memories of them? Why else would Chandler and Joey direct him to her? She felt her heart pumping as she wondered if her waiting had finally come to an end.

"S-sure, you can talk to me about anything, you know that," she said, trying to contain the excitement in her voice.

"Ok… ok, I'm just going to say it because when I tried to lead up to it, Chandler and Joey freaked out."

He took a deep breath and she held hers, a large smile coming to her face. _This is it_ , she thought and waited for him to speak.

"Have I ever been married before?"

Her eyes widened and her smile disappeared. That was not what she was expecting at all and she was both shocked and disappointed that they weren't thinking of the same thing. However one thing was clear, she was beyond dumbfounded and the look on her face clearly displayed this emotion.

"Rachel? You have the same look Chandler and Joey had."

Chandler and Joey. Of course those two would avoid this conversation and leave it up to her. She was the last person who should be dealing with this. Ooh, as soon as she gets her hands on those two, they'll be begging from their knees.

"Wh-wh… h-how did you get to that?" she finally managed to ask.

"I've been having these… _visions_ lately," Ross explained. "I keep seeing myself at the altar in front of all my family and friends, and then there's this bride in front of me but her face is all blurred out. I'm assuming these are memories returning to me."

"Uh… well… um…" She had no idea how to approach this topic. She and the others had discussed this about a week ago but neither of them had come up with an idea of introducing those touchy subjects. The warnings of the doctor echoed in her mind and that just made her even more nervous.

Without letting her finish, he spoke up again. "So have I been married before?"

What was she supposed to do? Lie to him? If he was having these visions, it must mean his memories were coming back, but at the same time, how much has returned or how much does he know?

Rachel took a deep breath, realising that if he really wanted to know, he could easily look into his profile and pull out the documents of his marriages to a, b, and c.

"Y-yes," she finally managed to say, glancing at him nervously. She hoped with all her heart that she wasn't crossing the line here.

"Yes," he repeated as if he was still sinking into reality. "Wow, I-I can't believe I've been married. H-how many times?"

Now her heart was beating twice as fast and her palms were sweating as well. 'How many times?' was the question she had been hoping to avoid. She could lie here and say only 1, or she could tell him the truth and reveal he's had multiple marriages. But then if she told the truth, should she say 2 or 3 marriages? After all, she was the third one. Would he understand that their marriage was a mistake or would that open doors that have yet to be opened on their own? There were too many decisions for her to make in too little time.

With the conflict of decisions exploding in her head, she made the fatal mistake of glancing up into his eyes. God, those eyes were adorable. Sometimes they could be the darkest shade of chocolate brown, so deep that she found herself lost inside of them many, many times. Other times, such as this one, they were the most adorable and precious hazel coloured eyes she'd ever seen. How on earth was anyone supposed to lie to those eyes? How she managed to keep her feelings away from his wandering eyes were beyond her.

"Rach? Rachel? You still there?" he asked, waving his hand in front of her face. She snapped out of her thoughts and shyly glanced at him again.

"Y-you've been married…" Did she have the heart to lie to him? "…3 times." No, she didn't.

"Wow… 3 times… I've been married 3 times… I've been _divorced_ 3 times…" It did sound a bit ridiculous. "Who were they?"

"Well…" she cleared her throat and sat forward a bit, grabbing his hands to not only get his attention but to ease her nerves. "The first one was to Carol who ended up turning into a lesbian and left you for another woman."

"A lesbian?" he asked out of shock. "You're telling me I married a lesbian?"

"Yes, uh, you did." Not wishing to stick to the subject, she continued. "Your second wife was this _bitchy_ English woman, Emily, who was extremely demanding and unreasonable. She made you move out of your old apartment and even wanted you to cut out… your friends… from your life." After she said that, she realised just how much she hated that British snob.

"And what about the third?"

Immediately the butterflies returned to her stomach and she glanced at the ground for a moment. "The third wife…" she started in a soft voice, looking back up into his large brown eyes. "…the third wife… is sitting right in front of you."

Ross' eyes widened and he stared at her as if seeing her in a whole new light. "Y-you were once my wife?"

She bit her lower lip and just nodded. What was this thing that she was feeling? Almost a feeling of guilt… or was it regret?

"D-did we… were we…"

"Oh no, no no," she quickly stopped him, not wanting his mind to wander any further. "Our marriage wasn't exactly a marriage. You see, we were down in Vegas and we got really drunk one night. The next day, we found out we got married while drunk so when we got back, we got a divorce."

"Wow… this… this is a lot to take in," he said, exhaling deeply. "I-I've been married! 3 times!... I've been divorced 3 times and… and my best friend is my ex-wife…"

An awkward silence passed and she could see he was deep in thought. She reached over and touched his arm, looking him directly in the eyes. "And _my_ best friend is also my ex-husband."

He looked up and they locked eyes. She forced a smile onto her face and slowly, one found its way onto his as well.

He smiled softly. "Then I guess everything's alright then."

She stared into his eyes, feeling her heart beat faster and now, she knew what this feeling was. It was a mix of both love and regret; regret for divorcing someone who she loved with all her heart. It was at this moment when she realised exactly why they had been forced to get a divorce rather than the annulment. He had been in love with her and knowing that made her smile even more.

"So, are any of my other wives as close as I am with you?" he asked some time later.

"Maybe not as close as me but Carol is still a close friend of ours."

He raised an interested eyebrow. "Really? How come I haven't met her yet."

"Well, we wanted you to remember her yourself before we re-introduced you to her."

He nodded, seeming to understand their reasoning. "So does that mean I can meet her now?"

She had to laugh at how he asked that question. He sounded like a little boy asking for permission to talk to a stranger. "Of course you can, I'll just give her a call and since tomorrow is Saturday, I'm sure she can drop by."

"Ok, thanks Rachel. God, what a day," he sighed and leaned back against the couch, making her giggle in amusement.

She got up to use the phone but as soon as she picked it up, a thought crossed her mind.

Ross had a son.

And that son would surely be with Carol if she came to visit. She remembered hearing the doctor specifically mention approaching the topic of his son cautiously and knowing that, she worried that introducing Ben may be a bad idea. However, he did remember his marriages by himself and usually children come after marriages, at least that's how it usually goes. Would it be wrong to tell him about Ben?

She looked at him lying on the couch and felt the beating of her heart go up. She wanted him back so badly, the real Ross. As much fun this one has been, she had been missing _her_ Ross for quite some time now and thinking back to the past only made her miss him more. If she told him about his son, perhaps his memories may return quicker. After all, wouldn't the next thing after marriages be his child?

At that moment, she made her decision. She had made a promise to him and herself that she'd help him recover his lost memories. This was her way of helping him. She had to do this, she loved him.

"Ross, I-I need to tell you something before you meet Carol."

His eyes opened up and locked onto hers as she took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to say.

"…You have a son…"

…

A knock on the door brought their attention to that direction as Rachel stood up from the couch to answer it. It was Saturday afternoon and she had practically spent the last 24 hours recalling everything she knew about his first two marriages, their drunken marriage and his son. She had even asked Carol for some details on her relationship with Ross which she casually explained as something that just wasn't meant to be.

And she couldn't have agreed more.

Now, as Joey may say, it was 'show time'. She glanced over at Ross who also stood up to answer the door with her. She could tell he was nervous by the way his hands moved from his pocket to behind his back, then back to his pockets. She touched his arm and gave him a soft smile, reminding him she was going to be there with him the entire time.

He looked rather ravishing, wearing a nice pair of khakis along with a collared blue shirt. And though she had reminded him that his son was only 7 and wouldn't have cared even if he wore shorts, she couldn't help but blush at how handsome he looked. He cleaned up well, always had.

"Hey Carol!" she greeted after opening the door.

"Rachel, how are you?" Carol asked and the two women joined in a friendly hug.

"I'm good, I'm good," she looked over at Ross who was standing off to the side with his hands in his pocket.

"Ross!" Carol exclaimed, noticing him. She quickly engulfed him in a quick hug as well. "I'm so glad you're ok."

"Thanks, I get that a lot," he joked, feeling comfortable around the woman. Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure how to act around Carol especially knowing she was his lesbian ex-wife but now that she was here, he could see why they had managed to stay as close friends.

"Well I'm glad you still have your sense of humour."

"So where's Ben?" Rachel asked a moment later, not seeing him in the hallway.

"Oh, he's with Susan parking the car."

"And I assume Susan is the lesbian wife?" Ross asked, remembering Rachel telling him a little about that.

"Yes, that's the one," Carol answered, just as Susan and Ben entered through the door frame, giving a little knock on the door to get their attention. "And here she is!"

"Hi Susan," Rachel said, giving her a quick hug.

"Hey Rachel," she replied, turning to Ross. "Ross…"

"Um, hello Susan." He could feel the tension between them already, even though he has just met her. They awkwardly exchanged a handshake which brought giggles to the other women in the room.

After all introductions, he finally noticed the little blonde boy standing next to Susan's leg. He looked at him and the boy looked up, locking eyes with him. His heart jumped a bit, seeing his own dark hazel eyes in his as if looking into a mirror. This was his son.

"Is-is this him?" he asked to no one in particular.

"It sure is. Ben, say hello to your father," Carol instructed.

"Hi dad!" the little boy exclaimed cheerfully. He too had been 'debriefed' before coming and knew about his father's amnesia. He hadn't been totally affected however, mostly due to his young age but he was still excited to see him after almost a month away from his father.

"H-hey Ben," Ross managed and bent down on his knees. He gently opened his arms for a hug and Ben didn't disappoint, running into them almost immediately. They hugged and Ross felt the connection right away. He smiled and sunk into the hug with his son and at the same time, in the corner of the room, an emotional Rachel stood smiling as a single tear rolled down her cheek at the beautiful scene.

"Alright, well Susan and I have some errands to do while we're here," Carol spoke afterwards. It had already been planned to leave Ben here with Ross for them to reconnect. "We'll come by in an hour to pick up Ben. Be good."

"Ok mommy," Ben replied, earning a quick kiss on the cheek from Carol. Susan also gave him a quick hug before the two women left, leaving him with Ross and Rachel.

As soon as his mothers left, he climbed up onto the couch, pulling out some toy dinosaurs from the bag Carol had left. Ross just looked at him, disbelief all over his face as if he couldn't believe this was his son. The blonde hair was Carol's, as were pretty much the rest of his appearances, but the one thing that was unmistakeably his were those dark hazel eyes he had seen.

After moments of just staring at the young boy, he felt a hand touch his arm. Rachel looked at him with a soft smile; her eyes slightly teared up from the earlier scene.

"Talk to him," she whispered quietly and gave him another reassuring smile.

He nodded and slowly made his way over to the couch, taking a seat next Ben as he played with his toy dinosaurs.

"Wh-what are those?" he asked, pointing towards the toys.

"My toy dinosaurs. Rawr!" Ben answered, picking up the tyrannosaurus and growling at him. He smiled at this.

"So do you like dinosaurs?"

"Yup."

"Which one's your favourite?"

"This one! The T-Rex!" Ben said, raising the toy up to show his father.

"Mine too…" Ross said quietly and looked up to share a smile with Rachel. He was like a spitting image of himself, with the same interests and favourites. He was smart too, for a boy his age.

"Do you like doing anything else other than playing with your toys?"

"I play pranks," Ben replied proudly.

"Pranks?" He raised a surprised eyebrow and saw Rachel blush in the corner of his eye.

"Yeah! Aunt Rachel taught me!" The little boy said, pointing towards her.

"Oh really?" he said, turning to her with an amused smile. "What else did Aunt Rachel teach you?"

"That you were _not_ on a break!" and instantly, Rachel's eyes widened in panic.

"What?"

Before Ben could answer, Rachel reached over placed a hand over his mouth. "He's talking about this funny story I told him a while ago. I… uh… I got into this argument with me boss about my break that I thought I missed but actually didn't. It's… complicated you had to be there."

"Um… ok."

She discretely let out a sigh of relief and took a seat on a nearby chair, letting them have their space but also keeping her promise to him for being with him the entire time.

A couple minutes passed as the three of them played with his toys, joining in his little dinosaur game until he eventually became tired and placed his tyrannosaurus on the table and sifted through the bag for anything else that might interest him.

"So what grade are you in Ben?" Ross asked as he pulled out a little ball and playfully tossed it at Rachel.

"Grade 2."

"Wow, already grade 2? Do you like school?"

"Yup, both my mommies tell me learning is good," he replied, catching the ball tossed over by Rachel and throwing it over to him.

"Well learning is good and it can be fun too. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?"

"Yeah, I want to be a paleontologist just like you and learn about dinosaurs!"

His little words touched his heart. His son wanted to be just like him when he grew up and at this moment, he was extremely proud to be this little boy's father. Not to mention he even knew what a paleontologist was, something that took a lot of difficulty even from some adults he's come by.

"Wow, you… you want to be just like me?" As he handed him the ball, he locked eyes with Rachel who was beginning to tear up again.

"Hmm-hmm. You're my hero," he revealed and looked at him with his own brown eyes, making him feel truly connected with his little boy.

And just like that, the strange feeling he had felt a couple weeks ago returned.

…

"Thanks for watching him Ross."

"No, thank _you_ for bringing him. I'd love to spend more time with him in the future."

Carol nodded and threw the bag of Ben's toys over her shoulder. She looked down at her little boy who was giving his goodbyes to Rachel.

"Ben, do you want to say goodbye to your dad?"

Instantly, Ben left Rachel's arms and ran over to him. He bent down and gave his son a large hug, much like the one from before but far more passionate. This was his son after all; his pride and joy.

"Bye dad."

"Bye buddy, I'll see you next time." He gave a light kiss to the top of his head before standing back up.

He watched as Ben grabbed Carol's hand and they both made their way to the door.

"Bye!" they both chorused, waving at them as he and Rachel waved back. A moment later, the door closed behind them and it felt like a piece of him had left with them.

He turned around, meeting the large smile on Rachel's face. He smiled back, he had too. He felt so happy at the moment.

"So, what'd you think?"

"I think… I think I can't believe he's my son. He-he's so smart and cute… and-and…"

"And just like his father," she finished for him and gently rubbed his shoulders. He smiled again. What would he do without her? She was the one who set this all up and if it weren't for her, he would have never been able to meet his son. She was truly a magnificent woman and one he was proud to say was his closest friend.

He quickly engulfed her in a tight hug; catching her off guard but feeling her relax a moment later. They both sunk into the hug, enjoying the feeling of both of their bodies pressed together as he buried his face into her hair.

"Thank you," he whispered gently into her ear.

"For what?"

"For everything."

…

 **Author's Note: Tough chapter this one was which is also why it was shorter than most of the other ones. I hope I did a good job.**

 **I'm really excited starting from this point onwards. After this is when the** **real** **stuff starts happening and what most people refer to as the "climax" of the story. Be sure to leave a review and I'll be updating as soon as possible. Thanks. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Rachel strolled out of the Ralph Lauren building, tired, annoyed, and disheveled. As much 'fun' her work was thought out to be, there would always be days like this when she'd be stuck doing inventory all day with the only thought of counting down the minutes until the day ended. She could never have that passion others had for their jobs, even if fashion was her dream job. Especially days like today, she just wanted to go home and relax. Well actually, she just wanted to spend the rest of the day with _him_ , but even that was now something she was unsure of.

3 months have passed since he'd awakened from his coma but its felt like years for her. Ever since she helped him remember some aspects of his past life, including his marriages and Ben, she couldn't stop thinking back to the past. Sometimes random items or words people say would remind her of the old times, specifically with Ross, when they had been dating or when he had been incredibly sweet and caring towards her. But then she'd return to reality and be reminded that this was not the same Ross she's grown to love but rather one that knew nothing of their past relationship and history, and that was beginning to leave her rather deep emotional scar.

She missed him dearly and it was becoming harder and harder for her to look at him and pretend like she didn't have any feeling for him. Her heart ached for the real him, _her_ Ross, and after 3 months of waiting, the pain of having to hide her feelings was finally catching up to her.

Just thinking of him began to make her tear up and she had to discretely wipe a single tear from her eye as she crossed the street.

 _Be strong Rachel, be strong for him_ , she repeated in her head, although she's been saying that so many times in the past week she was beginning to doubt herself.

Why couldn't he just remember by now so they could live happily ever after? She wanted to kiss him, touch him, show him how much he meant to her in both words and feelings. She wanted to love him and for him to love her back, she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life and beyond. Together, Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross, forever.

And yet, fate always had a way of screwing her over and toying with her feelings. In making her suffer over and over again until she finally broke. And judging by the amount of pain she was beginning to feel each day, she was nearing that breaking point.

 _I just want him back, is that so much to ask for?_

She knew she should have gone to church when she was younger.

Turning the corner of the block, she spotted the coffee house a few doors down and quietly recomposed herself. She was far too emotionally overwhelmed to have to deal with the questions from her friends, even if they knew exactly how she had been feeling lately. She just wanted to relax, forget about work and life's hardships, and spend the rest of her day with him. Whether it is talking all night or a movie, she didn't care. As long as she could be in his presence so that he could comfort her and care for her like only he can, she can forget about everything else… at least for today.

As she entered Central Perk she spotted her friends sitting around the table, staring at something over in the direction of the back of the coffee house.

"Hey you guys," she greeted, rounding the couch and placing her bag on the vacant chair. Nobody even bothered looking in her direction and all she got were some muttered 'hellos' and 'hi's'. She looked at them curiously, noticing the astonished looks on their faces.

"Ok, what are you all staring at that is so important?" she questioned, straining her neck to see what they were looking at. As if only now was her voice recognizable, Monica turned to her and her eyes widened.

"Rachel!" Monica exclaimed and quickly scampered off the couch to give her an unsuspecting hug, turning her away from the direction everyone was looking at. "H-how are you?" she asked awkwardly, blocking her field of view by waving her hand in front of her face.

"Not much Mon…" she started, trying to see around her waving hand. Why was she being so secretive? "What are you guys looking at?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. Right guys?" Monica turned to the others but got no response as they all continued to stare in the same direction. In that split second that she was distracted, she quickly moved Monica's hand away and was finally able to see what everyone else was seeing.

And what she saw made her eyes widen in panic.

"Noooooo!" she gasped, finally getting everyone else's attention as all their expressions turned into surprise and worry.

Sitting a couple tables down was none other than the man that had been on her mind all day, however he wasn't alone. At the table with him were three incredibly attractive women; two brunettes and a blonde, who were blatantly flirting with him. To make matters worse, the blonde was sitting extremely close to him and was even stroking his arm as they all listened to something he was saying.

How _dare_ those _SLUTS_ touch her man! That was her Ross, _hers_. If they wanted one, they could go out and find one but this one was hers. A wave of sadness passed through her body, mixing with her anger to create this emotion of both fiery rage and heartbroken pain.

She did not need this right now.

"Oh, we're so sorry honey," Monica tried to comfort, rubbing her shoulders. "This is why I tried to stop you from seeing this."

"H-how did he… when did he…" she stammered, the pain in her voice blatantly obvious.

"We don't know," Phoebe quipped, turning to her with a sympathetic look. "We got here and saw him with them already."

"And by them, you mean those incredibly _hot_ ladies!" Joey added but looked away after meeting Monica's ice cold glare.

"Is-is he flirting with them?" she asked in disbelief as her sad eyes tried to look for his but his back was turned to them.

"Well he's definitely not just talking about the weather," Chandler joked, trying to lighten up the mood with his humour.

"But… but… but he's terrible at flirting!"

"I know right, it's so weird," Phoebe added and they all looked over just in time to see him whisper something to the girls, resulting in all three of them to giggle.

"Well he sure looks like he knows what he's doing," Monica commented but flinched at her comment when she saw Rachel's hurt look. They all turned to watch him as he continued to flirt with the three women.

"I got it," Chandler said suddenly, snapping his fingers, "I know who that is!"

"What? That's Ross! Otherwise we've been staring at some stranger for the past half an hour."

Chandler shook his head. "No, no, it's Ross, but a different Ross. Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Ross Geller of 1987-1988."

Everyone just gave him a weird look. "You mean his first two years of college?" Monica asked.

"Exactly, none of you know this but when I first met him, Ross was a real ladies' man."

"Are you kidding? Ross? Our Ross?" Phoebe questioned with an amused look on her face.

"No, I'm serious. Girls used to be all over him back then. If anything, he was even popular for those two years. But then he met Carol and his flirting skills just disappeared like that and he became the college geek."

"Yeah right, I used to visit you guys all the time and not once have I seen him be all flirty with other girls," Monica pointed out.

"That's because you always came with Rachel," he reasoned, nodding to her who was secretly keeping a close on Ross at the other table. "The only times he wasn't 'Sir Flirts A Lot' was when he was studying or when Rachel was around."

"Huh, that's so weird. I can't believe Ross used to be good with women," Joey stated.

Chandler chuckled slightly, remembering something. "Hehe, actually…uh… his flirtation skills were one of the reasons why I actually became friends with him to begin with."

"Chandler!" Monica exclaimed, slapping his arm.

"What? Oh come on, I came from an all boys school! How else was I supposed to learn how to talk to girls?"

Suddenly loud laughter was heard and they turned to see it coming from the girls at Ross' table. He must have said something funny or done something humorous because it seemed like the three of them were scooting to be closer with him.

Rachel's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh no! Look, she's got her hand on his thigh! No, no, no, I-I can't keep watching this! Go… go do something!"

"Ok!" Joey said almost immediately and started to get up but was stopped by Chandler who just shook his head. "Oh come on! There are three of them, there are three of us! Let's go get laid!"

"Joey!" she exclaimed, the pain of imagining Ross with some other women dug into her more.

"Sorry Rach but they're so hot!" And this time Chandler set him down and made him stop talking.

She pouted and she felt Monica gently rub her shoulders. "Oh, I'm sorry honey but we can't just go over there."

"Well I can't just stand here. If you don't do something then I will."

"No Rach, you can't-."

Monica tried to stop her by grabbing onto her arm but she got out of her grip. She began making her way over to his table, trying to recompose herself before she got there. Finally, she took a deep breath and put on a fake smile, sauntering over to him.

"Hey you," she interrupted him in a soft voice, rubbing his shoulders to get his attention. Before he could say anything, to add onto her little act, she bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, slightly surprising him a bit.

"Hey Rach," he greeted as she slid down to hold onto his arm, slapping away the blonde's hand. He smiled at her with those large brown eyes and for a split second, she forgot what she was doing for a moment. "Oh sorry, where are my manners. Rachel, this is Tiffany, Kristen, and Britney."

The girls gave her a quick 'hello' and she responded by sending a dirty look that clearly read 'back off'. All three of them seemed to understand and the blonde that was right up next to him moved away to let her between them.

An awkward silence passed by as the three women looked extremely uncomfortable, obviously buying her act that she and Ross were together. One of the brunettes coughed and stood up, grabbing her jacket from her seat.

"Well it was nice talking with you Ross but we should get going."

"Yeah, it was nice talking to you too Kristen," he said and as the gentlemen he was, he helped the women with their jackets. She silently scowled at the blonde who had given him a thankful smile and she shyly looked away.

Still clinging onto his arm, she and Ross watched as the three women made their way to the door. One of them stopped, however, and gave him a slip of paper.

"If, uh, that doesn't work out then give me a call," Tiffany said, avoiding her death glare then quickly left the coffee house with the other two. Ross looked at the card and smiled, putting it in his pocket while she was trying extremely hard not to take the slip of paper and rip it in half.

"So Ross, who was that?" Monica asked when they rejoined the group.

"Oh, just some people I met when I came for some coffee," he said, grabbing his jacket. "They're really nice."

"And really hot!" Joey added, earning a glare from everyone.

Rachel cleared her throat to get his attention, not wanting to dwell on the subject for too long. "Hey, so do you want to catch a movie later?"

"Sorry Rach, I can't today. I already told the guys that I'd go to the Rangers' game with them," he said as Chandler and Joey fist bumped and her heart sunk. He was supposed to be the one to comfort her today but apparently nothing ever goes her way anymore.

Seeing her saddened look made him feel guilty and he gently lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. "Hey, listen if I knew you wanted to go see a movie then I wouldn't have agreed to going to the game. Tell you what; I'm all yours tomorrow if nothing else comes up."

At least she took comfort in knowing he'd rather spend time with her than with the other guys.

"W-well what about now?" she asked softly and he scrunched up his face.

"I'd love to but I'm meeting Mike at the gym in 10 minutes and I'm supposed to set him up on a date with Pheebs over here," he explained, turning to Phoebe who nodded to clarify.

"Hey, don't forget to pick up those groceries for me," Monica reminded him.

"I'll bring them by before we head out for the game."

"You know, I can get groceries for you," Chandler said but got laughter in return.

"You? Grocery shopping?" Monica laughed. "Do you remember what happened the last time I sent you out for groceries?"

Chandler took a moment to think about it and then the memory returned to him. He blushed slightly and nodded. "Good point. Ross, it's all yours."

Ross took a mocking bow and turned to head out but before he could, Rachel stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Wait, what time are you going to get back?" she asked, wanting to know when she'd get to see him later. She desperately wanted to spend time with him.

"I'm not sure Rach, probably really late since the game starts at 9."

"Oh, ok…" Now she was really disappointed. She might not even get to see him again today.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he looked at his watch and frowned after seeing the time. "I'll talk to you later ok?" He gave her a light kiss on her forehead before leaving the coffee house, her sad eyes following him until he disappeared past the crowd of people outside.

"See ya…" she whispered inaudibly and buried her face into her hands.

"Aw Rach, don't cry," Monica soothed, rubbing her shoulders. "Everything is going to be alright."

"No it won't!" she countered, tears threatening her eyes as she looked up at her friends. "I'm losing him already! He-he's got this whole other life now and… and I'm not part of it!"

"No, don't think like that Rach. Didn't you hear him say he'd spend the day with you tomorrow? You're not losing him."

"Ok, w-well what about the flirting? How can he be looking for someone already?" she whined. Now tears were really falling from her face. Normally she'd never act like this in public but she was too emotional to care.

Monica glanced at the other friends, sharing the same look as they did. They all shared the same thoughts and had talked about it a bit before she came, but they also knew she would not take it well.

"Rachel, sweetie, I, uh… I think I speak for all of us when I say I think it's a good thing that Ross is looking for someone," Monica started, although she partially regretted saying that when Rachel's head shot up revealing her pained expression.

"What?" she asked in disbelief. How could they be ok with this?

"Hear me out ok? I think it's great that Ross is looking for someone because it means he's _healing_. Didn't you hear Chandler say that this is how he acted back in college? If that means his memories are returning then isn't that a good thing?"

"Monica's right Rach," Chandler said, jumping in. "Dating will help him heal and also to learn about relationships first-hand. Don't you remember the doctor saying that he'll need time to grow and experience everything again?"

"But what about me? Why can't he date me?" she questioned rhetorically, her eyes becoming glossy from the tears. "I'm available!"

"Oh, honey, you know that he can't jump into anything serious right away," Monica reasoned. "He needs to date other people and learn at his own pace."

"B-but what if he finds someone and falls in love with them? They'll go out and get married… and have kids… then-then he'll forget about me." She cried even harder, imagining it all happen in her head.

"Don't be ridiculous Rachel, he loves you!" Phoebe exclaimed. "You're lobsters remember? You're meant for each other!"

"Besides, he doesn't even know what love is," Joey pointed out but his comment only made her sob harder.

"So why does he have to date other people? I'll help him heal! I-I'll help him learn!" She just couldn't stand the thought of him with someone else.

"Rachel enough," Monica said sternly and caught her teary eyes. "If you love him and want him to heal, you have to let him date other people. We know it's tough honey, and we know how much it must hurt seeing him with someone else but this is for his own good. If you want to help him, you need to be his friend. Not someone who you want him to date."

She sniffled and looked down at the ground, letting a couple tears drop to the floor. She knew she was right, and she knew that she had to let him go. At least until he healed a little on his own. Even if she had to sit back and painfully watch as he dated someone else, she knew it was the right thing to do. She had to do it for him.

"Can you do that? Can you be his friend?" Monica asked softly.

She looked up, wiping away the tears and managed to nod weekly. "O-ok…"

Monica smiled and wrapped her in a much needed hug, allowing her to let out her last sobs into her shoulder. The others also came over to gently rub her back, reminding her she'd still have them when she needed.

"…I want him back…" She cried into Monica's shoulder as she gently stroked her hair.

"We know honey… we know."

…

Rachel sobbed silently and covered her mouth as the Old Yeller's owner was forced to shoot his beloved best friend, killing him and letting him go forever.

She knew how that felt, to love someone so much but have to let them go. The movie gave a perfect representation of how she felt at the moment; lost… destroyed… devastated… with no will power to want to go on after letting go, or in her case, not wanting to let go in the first place. It was a one-sided conflict with the right choice clear in mind, but her aching heart refusing to give in.

And so she cried, not only because of how sad the ending of Old Yeller was, but because she saw herself in the movie, letting go of the one person who mattered to her the most. Even if it was only temporarily, it still hurt.

Suddenly the front door opened and Ross walked in, a little surprised that she was still up but especially surprised to see tears streaking down her face.

"Hi," she whispered softly, still crying a little. He quickly hung up his jacket and rushed over to her, engulfing her in a hug that she's been wanting from him all day.

"Watching Old Yeller?" he asked, recognizing the ending scene of the movie.

She nodded silently and snuggled up to him, enjoying the feeling of his embrace with the only thought that soon, he'd be sharing this moment with someone else. Whoever that someone else was, she hoped they'd understand just how lucky they are going to be to be with someone like him.

The two of them continued to watch the ending scenes until the closing credits finally appeared. He gently stroked her hair and gave her a reassuring kiss on the head, releasing his arms that were around her.

"It's a sad movie isn't it?"

"Yeah…" she choked on her own word, knowing it was far more depressing for her. She decided to change the subject. "So how was the game?"

"Oh it was great! You should've seen it, the game was tied and they had to go into overtime. Leetch had the puck and he took it up to center ice when…" he paused, seeing the clueless look on her face and laughed. "… and you don't have a clue of what I'm talking about."

"Not at all," she responded and had to laugh as well. She had never been into sports and frankly, never understood them either.

A moment passed of comfortable silence; a silence only they could ever achieve together. The few seconds allowed her to recollect her thoughts and her mind drifted to the thing she desperately wanted to confront him about.

"S-so," she started nervously, playing with her fingers, "Monica tells me you're looking for a date."

"Yeah, here check it out." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of paper, tossing them all onto the apothecary table. She reached over to spread them out and her eyes widened when she saw how each little slip of paper contained a name of a girl followed by their number.

"D-did you get these all today?" she asked, astounded that he managed to get 7 numbers in one day. That even topped Joey's record.

He nodded. "It's funny, you go up to hold a normal conversation with someone and somewhere down the line, you're handed their number."

"That is funny!" She forced a laugh that didn't come out too well and quickly turned to the slips of paper, frowning at the number of girls that were interested in him. Seven girls. Seven! Each slip of paper was like a little bullet, piercing her heart and creating this huge gaping hole. "S-so are you planning on calling any of them?"

Ross just shrugged. "Eventually yes, but I'm not sure which one to choose."

"I-is there a reason for why you decided to start dating _now_?" She had to know, for her own sake.

"Well, I started wondering how it feels to be passionate with someone, you know. Like how Chandler and Monica are. I remember the concept of dating but I can never really pick out a certain memory of a date before so I thought I might try it out and give it a shot."

 _You can be passionate with me!_ She complained in her head but didn't dare say it in real life. Instead, she put on a fake smile. The others were right, he was healing, but she was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that he was going to date other people.

 _He needs you to be his friend, not someone you want him to date._

Monica's words rang true in her mind and she knew she had to let him go. She had to be his friend, not his lover. A friend. But nobody said this friend couldn't help him make decisions.

"Ok!" she exclaimed in a fake gleeful tone, startling him a bit. "If you're having trouble remembering stuff about dating then maybe I should help you out."

"You? Help me out?"

"Sure! I'm a girl. I've been on dates," she reasoned. "Trust me, I have experience dating people who you should date and shouldn't date."

"Really? So do you think you can help me out with these numbers?"

"Of course! What are… _friends_ for?" she said, choking a little on the word 'friends'.

"Ok, wow, thanks Rach, what would I do without you?" And her heart sunk a bit, seeing how much trust he was putting into her. He picked up three slips and showed them to her. "Alright, well here are numbers of those three girls you met at the coffee house."

She immediately frowned. She did not like those girls at all, all flirtatious and touching with him. "And what do they do?" she questioned in a sour tone.

"They're models."

"Oh no, you don't want to date models. They're shallow and disrespectful and I hear most of them cheat on their boyfriends," she lied, sinking down to the stereotypes of these women. She grabbed the three numbers and ripped them in two, feeling surprisingly relieved after she did.

"Ok, well what about this one? She's a nurse," he said, handing her another number.

"Nooo, you don't want to date a nurse either. They're always on call and you never know when they might need to rush to the hospital for something."

"That's a bad thing?"

"Of course!" She turned to him and grabbed his hands. "Um… ok, imagine you're on a date with this nurse at this really fancy restaurant. Suddenly her cell phone goes off and she needs to go to the hospital for an emergency. Now you're stuck alone in the restaurant with no date and you're still forced to pay the bill. That's not a good relationship if you ask me."

His lips curled downwards and he handed her the number for her to rip up. 4 down, 3 to go.

"Alright, tell me about these last three," she suggested, holding up the last few slips of paper.

"Grocery clerk, company director, and I'm not sure what she does but she mentioned something about a night club."

"Nope, nope, and definitely not," she concluded, ripping them in two and dusting her hands off. She felt a wave of relief fill her body but she hardened up when she saw the attentive look on his face.

She hated playing Devil's Advocate. It made her feel shallow, judging people by their jobs before even meeting them. Truthfully, she just wasn't ready to give him up, not yet at least. It was selfish and inconsiderate but she couldn't do it. It was hard enough knowing she'd have to let him go soon, and she certainly didn't want him to leave her for some horny slut he met off the streets.

"Don't you think you're being a little judgemental Rach? I mean, I met all those women and they all seemed like nice people," he pointed out and she winced slightly, hoping he didn't see through her white lies.

"People are always nice on their first impression," she tried to play off but his facial expression remained. She sighed and gave his hands a squeeze. "Honey, I just don't want to see you hurt. I want you to choose the right person for you; someone who will make you happy." And that wasn't a lie.

He smiled and gave her a hug. "I know you do Rach, I trust you."

A wave of guilt filled her body as his words made her feel worse about herself. He trusted her, yet here she was lying to his face because she wasn't willing to let him go. What kind of friend was that?

The kind that was in love.

…

A couple days later, Ross and Rachel walked into Allesandro's, having been invited to a special dinner by Monica who had insisted all of them to come. As they arrived, they asked for Monica Geller's table in which the waiter kindly directed them to a large table in the back near the kitchen.

The week had gone by as a struggle for Rachel as she had been forced to put on the act of the 'best friend' instead of the 'interested lover'. Each and every night, Ross would return with a couple phone numbers, each one drilling a hole into her already pained heart. She was jealous and had all the reason to be. All these women he met had no idea of how charming, and caring, and amazing, and sweet this guy was, and she was jealous of every single one of them. Truth be told, she still wasn't willing to let go of him yet and that certainly didn't help the internal conflict she was having with herself.

Earlier she had received a scolding from Monica after telling her what she had done, and though she had understood why she was doing this, she had also reminded her that if she loved him, she had to let him go. And knowing this, Rachel knew that she had to come to a decision soon.

"Guys! I'm so glad you could make it!"

Both of them turned to see Monica run over and pull them both into a large hug. Having come straight from the kitchen, she was dressed in all white with her large chef hat properly placed upon her head.

"We didn't have much of a choice, you left an extremely demanding message on the answering machine," Ross joked and earned a playful slap from his sister.

"Monica!" A loud whine was heard.

The three of them turned to the table where Joey was sitting with Phoebe and Chandler, rubbing his stomach with a desperate look on his face.

"You promised me food! I'm hungry!" he whined and Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Here, eat this," he said, handing him the flower from the middle of the table. Joey took one look at the flower, as if to inspect, until he finally shrugged and ripped of a pedal to place in his mouth.

"No! Don't eat that!" Monica yelled quickly and snatched the flower away from him, gently placing it back in its vase. She glared at both of them as Ross and Rachel took their seats, laughing along with Phoebe.

Suddenly a blonde waiter walked over, seeing that everyone had arrived and took out her notepad to record their orders. As she approached the table, she saw Ross and gave him a small smile which he returned, something that didn't go unnoticed by Rachel.

"Hi, my name is Mona and I'll be serving you all tonight," she introduced, passing around some menus. "As you may know, we have a special all-you-can-eat offer exclusively for today."

"Awesome!" Joey exclaimed, licking his lips as he scanned over the menu.

Monica rolled her eyes and turned to the waiter. "It's alright Mona; I'll take care of their food for today. If you can just get them some drinks then that'd be great."

"Sure no problem," Mona responded with a smile and Monica returned to the kitchen. "So what would you guys like to drink?"

"We're not sure, you guys up for some wine?" Ross asked and they all kind of shrugged. "Well I guess we'll have one of your best wines."

"Ok, then how about I bring you two bottles of the '74 Lafite?"

Ross raised an eyebrow. "The '74? How about the '75 instead."

Mona looked at him with a little admiration seeing how he caught onto her little attempt of selling the worse of the two wines. "Wow, you caught me. I'm impressed you know your wine so well."

Ross shrugged and smiled. "You know what they say, a gentlemen needs to know their wines."

"Hmm… so will that be two '75s for the _gentlemen_?"

"That would be great," he responded, leaning in a bit to whisper quietly. "Although if you still need someone to buy the '74, I'll pay for one and you can just dump it out in the back."

Mona laughed and gave a thankful smile. "That's really thoughtful of you…"

"Ross."

"… Ross, thank you" she said and they both shared another smile. "I'll be back with your wines in just a moment" and she left with a wink as she headed back for the kitchen.

The whole time Rachel had stayed quiet against her will, seeing very well how they had been flirting. It had bothered her immensely and had stared at this so called 'Mona' for the longest time without being noticed. She had been tempted to jump in and interrupt their flirting session but Monica's words echoed through her head, forcing her to stay still. Even her friends at watched her expectantly, knowing how hard it must have been for her to see Mona so attracted to him like that. But then again, who could blame her? He was handsome, smart, and well-mannered. Who wouldn't want that in a man? She certainly knew she did.

As the night progressed, her jealousy grew every time Mona stopped to have a little conversation with him after bringing them their food. And with that jealousy grew the pain as she was forced to keep herself in check, eventually opting to down some wine to make the night pass by faster. At one point, she had caught him staring at her as she returned to the kitchen and her heart shattered right then and there. She remembered when he used to stare at her like that, like she was this unbelievably gorgeous woman that he couldn't believe he was looking at. Now she had to watch as he looked at Mona with this blatant attraction and if she hadn't been sitting right next to him, she would have for sure shed a tear by now.

It was torture for her. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to yell and release the pain of seeing him flirt right in front of her eyes. She felt lost and depressed, seeing her worst nightmares come to life before her very eyes. At multiple times during the night, she desperately wanted to tell him the truth but the three sets of eyes that were watching her with careful concern forbid her from doing so. Eventually the night had caught up to her and she had excused herself to the bathroom before the waterworks started.

There, she splashed water over her face, mixing with the fresh tears that had begun to fall from her eyes. It was ruining her make-up but she didn't care. The only thing she did care about was the person she was desperately in love with just outside flirting with some other girl, completely oblivious to her secret feelings for him.

As she silently sobbed to herself, drowning in her own sorrow, she didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open. It was only until she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder that she noticed Phoebe standing next to her, looking in the mirror at her saddened face.

"Just let it out Rach, just let it out." She didn't see a point in giving the usual 'it'll be alright' because clearly, it wouldn't. And understanding Rachel's situation told her that right now, the truth was the hardest but also the only solution.

"I don't want to go back out there Pheebs," she cried softly, hugging her friend tightly.

"You have to. You know he'll worry and he'll come looking for you."

Of course he would. He was always so caring and considerate with her.

Forcing herself to regain composure, she wiped away the few tears still making their way down her cheek. She wiped her face with some nearby towels and after taking some deep breaths directed by Phoebe, she nodded and they head back out of the bathroom.

As she neared the table, she noticed Joey leaning back rubbing his stomach in pain and agony as he continued to stuff his mouth with some dessert he ordered. Next to him, Chandler encouraged him to continue eating, eyes widened at how much food he had eaten tonight. They all had made a mental note to take Joey to all-you-can-eats a lot less.

On the other side, Ross sat with the bill in hand, counting the number of bills and adding up the necessary tip needed. She was slightly relieved to see that Mona was nowhere around but it didn't make up for the torturous night she was forced to sit through.

Quietly, she returned to her seat, spotting a slice of cheesecake on her plate with a large strawberry on top. _He must have ordered it for me_ , she thought but all it did was made her feel worse. He knew her so well that she didn't even have to ask for him to know what to order her.

"Hey, where'd you run off to?" he asked, catching her eye.

"Just the bathroom…" she replied in a shaky tone, playing with the spoon to her dessert. "Did you get this for me?"

"Yeah, I know you love cheesecake and Mona said it was included with the dinner."

She frowned at her name and poked the dessert. She was too upset, even for cheesecake.

"Rach, you gonna eat that?" Joey asked her and she pushed the plate towards him without a second thought.

"I'm pretty full from the dinner," she lied to answer Ross' curious look but she could tell that he knew better.

"Rachel are you ok? You've been really quiet today."

She looked up into his worried eyes and couldn't help but feel her heart beat faster and faster. Damn him and his gorgeous eyes, and his caring attitude, and his everything. It was just making everything harder on her.

"I-I'm fine," she said, looking away. She could the tears building up again. Why was she so goddamn emotional?

"Rachel…"

"I said I'm fine, ok?" she responded with a little more force and he got the message.

She felt a wave of guilt when he shrugged and turned back to the bill. He did nothing wrong, he was just being the considerate man she fell in love with. He didn't deserve to be on the short end of her emotional trauma and she immediately regret snapping at him like that. She decided she'd apologize to him later once she could figure out an excuse for her odd behaviour. If only he knew what was bothering her so much…

"Hey! So how'd you guys find the dinner?"

Everyone turned their heads to Monica who happily strolled over and stood next to Ross.

"Really good," Joey answered and groaned afterwards. Chandler just rolled his eyes.

"It was great honey, thanks for inviting us," and she flashed a smile in response.

"Hey Mon," Ross said, getting her attention, "what do you think of Mona?"

"What do I think of her? Well, Mona's great and she's one of the nicest people I've met here. Why?"

"He's been flirting with her all dinner long," Phoebe answered but eyed Rachel cautiously in the corner of her eye.

"Oh, really?" Monica asked, also sending a look over to her.

"Yeah I mean, we got talking and we both have some similar interests," he shrugged. "Do you think I should ask her out?"

"I think that's a great idea," Monica answered, staring directly at her. Emotional pain was plastered all across her face and Monica gave her a soft look, although it also read 'you have to let him do this'.

"What do you think Rach?" he asked, turning to her and immediately, she felt the butterflies in her stomach. He was still giving her the last say.

This was it. This was where she finally had to let him go. Mona was a great girl and she had already seen the connection between them. And as much as it hurts and how torturous this night has been, she could tell he was really into Mona, as was she. She noticed her friends' sympathetic looks off to the side as they too understood what kind of decisions she had to make.

Looking at the ground, she nervously played with her hands until she finally peered up into his large brown eyes. She hoped he couldn't see how much this was hurting her as well as the sadness in her eyes. She loved him so much. It wasn't fair that she had to let him go.

"I… I think…"

She closed her eyes and held back the tear that she could feel was almost slipping away. This was so much harder than she thought it would be and this time, there was no one to provide comfort for her afterwards.

She gently reached over and grabbed his hands, giving them a small squeeze for her own self. She missed him already and she hadn't even let him go yet. She didn't want to lose him, but she knew that now was the time. Taking a deep breath, she looked directly into his deep brown eyes and prayed that she was making the right choice, not for her, but for him.

"…I think… she's great," she finally choked out and forced a weak smile onto her face.

"You really think so?" She nodded sadly and could feel her eyes begin to water.

He exhaled deeply and stood up. "Alright then, I'm going to ask her out."

"Go get 'em buddy," Chandler encouraged, although he sent her a sympathetic look too.

"Thanks guys, and thank you Rachel," he said, reaching down and pulling her into a quick hug. She gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to remember this moment as long as possible. She never knew when the next time she'd be able to share another moment like this with him.

As they broke, he fixed his shirt and began making his way over to the counter where Mona was talking with another waiter. All she could do was watch as the love of her life temporarily walked out of her life. She felt her heart shatter and the tears finally escape her eyes. A soft sob left her mouth and Monica sat down and gently rubbed her knees as her eyes followed his every move.

He was gone, she had let him go.

The pain of losing someone you as much as she did was unbearable.

And now, she had never felt emptier.

…

 **Author's Notes: Constructive feedback is appreciated! I may have announced the "climax" a tad bit early but I don't know, you can be the judge of that later. As for this specific plot line, it's also a bit more difficult to write so I hope you all enjoyed. Leave a review and I'll update as soon as I can. Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"It's not fair!"

Rachel barged into Monica and Chandler's apartment, interrupting the four friends' poker game by pulling out a chair from the table and taking a seat. Everyone saw her saddened expression and they all shared a look with each other as they knew all too well of what this was about.

"What's not fair Rach?" Phoebe asked, placing down her cards. The other three followed.

"This! Ross' stupid relationship with stupid Mona! This stupid feeling of jealousy I have because it's not fair!" she whined, her sad eyes showing just how devastated she was over all of this. She looked over at Monica and pointer her finger at her. "This is your fault!"

"My fault?" Monica wondered in bewilderment.

"Yes! You were the one who told me to let him go! You said 'he needs to heal' and 'he's not looking for a serious relationship'… well he's been dating Mona for three weeks!" she whined. "Fix it!"

Everyone looked at her as she stared at the ground, obviously holding back the tears that usually came with her emotional outburst. They all saw through her outer shell and Monica came over to rub her knees.

"Rachel, what's really bothering you?" she asked softly to which Rachel looked up, revealing her teary eyes.

"I miss him!" she cried and finally let out the sob she had been holding back. Monica embraced her in a hug and she let the tears squeeze out of her eyes.

She truly did miss him. Ever since he started dating Mona, he's had this whole other life now. She was forced to watch as he became affectionate with this other woman and her heart writhed every time she saw them together. It should be her he was kissing or smothering or being compassionate towards, not Mona. It wasn't fair.

"Well if you miss him, why don't you just go over and see him?" Phoebe suggested.

Rachel released from the hug and wiped her eyes. "I can't, he invited Mona over for the first time…"

"Ooh, sounds like someone's going to get some tonight!" Joey exclaimed but retreated when he saw Rachel's hurt expression.

"Is that what's bothering you Rach? You knew this would happen at some point."

"Yeah… b-but I always thought it'd be with me! I didn't think he'd still be dating her for this long. I thought he'd learn to date a bit then come back to me..." She looked to the ground as another tear slid down her cheek. "A-and it's not just that. I don't get to spend as much time with him anymore. He's always with Mona on a date or whatever and I'm just sitting at home alone."

"Well maybe you should find someone to go out with," Chandler suggested.

"No! The only person I want to go out with is him! H-he gets me, he knows me. He cares about me and I care about him, so why can't we be together?"

"You know why you can't be together just yet Rach," Monica tried to reason. "He's not ready for that which is why he's with Mona right now."

"And that's not fair!" She understood that life wasn't fair and that there were always going to be hardships, but this was probably the hardest one she's ever experienced. Truthfully she was scared. She was scared that his and Mona's relationship was going to grow into something bigger and she was already starting to see that happening. Him inviting her over for the night… them meeting up whenever they had a chance during the day… what she thought would only be a short tryst was turning out to be a long-term relationship right before her eyes and she was afraid that when the time came, he'd choose Mona over her. After all, to him she was just 'roommate Rachel' or 'best friend Rachel', not 'Rachel who's so in love with you it hurts her to see you with someone else'.

"What am I going to do?" she cried softly, burying her face in her hands.

Monica began rubbing her back. "You know what you're going to do. You're going to be strong for him because that's what you promised him when we were at the hospital. You said you'd be strong and that you'd be with him every step of the way as he heals, regardless of how hard it was. And do you remember why you promised him that?"

She nodded her head and responded in a soft voice. "B-because I love him."

"That's right and that's also why no matter how unfair this is right now, you're going to stick to your promise."

Rachel nodded her head again. Monica was right, as usual, and her friend's words did ease her complaints. But what it didn't ease was the pain in her chest or the fact that he was still with Mona and there was nothing she could do about it. Deep down, she knew there really was nothing she could do about it. This was just another dirty card fate was playing and she would continue to suffer from it until the next one was dealt.

Reading her thoughts like a book, her friends crowded around and gave her a large group hug. She was so thankful that she still had this family to come to, even if the most important member of this family wasn't with her, the rest of them gave her enough to let her know she would never be as alone as she thought she was.

She let out a few more tears as everyone broke away. They were only half-heartedly happy tears as the sadness still resided inside of her. There was really only so much her friends could do and the only way she'd ever really be happy again is if he was hers again.

"We know how much you must be hurting honey, seeing him with Mona and all," Monica said, using her thumb to wipe away some of her tears, "but Mona's a good girl and will only ever be the one who gave him a little push. You, Rach, you'll always be his significant other and the one who helped him through his tough times."

"Thanks you guys, Mon, I don't know what I'd be without you guys."

"Probably a huge mess if you ask me," Phoebe answered and she managed a small laugh.

"Just remember Rach, as long as you don't do anything stupid, everything is going to work out in the end," Monica reminded. "He'll come around eventually."

"I hope so…" she whispered quietly and wiped away the rest of her tears.

"Ok! So what do you say we play some poker?" Chandler suggested as he collected all the cards and shuffled the deck.

Everyone returned to their seats as Chandler began dealing out the cards and she was grateful for a chance to try to put aside her worries for a bit. But that was easier said than done as when she lifted her cards to see what she got, the first one that stared her straight in the face was the king of hearts. Immediately her thoughts went back to Ross and how much she wished he was here with her and not with Mona.

And like the king of her heart, he would always be the one she'd want with her, by her side forever.

…

Ross' attention was brought to the door when he heard the knock and he quickly made his way over. Before he opened the door, he took a deep breath and smoothed out his shirt as a small smile appeared on his face.

"Hey sweetie," he greeted when he opened the door, smiling largely as Mona stepped inside.

"Hi baby."

She lifted her chin and he gave her a quick kiss on the lips, grabbing her hands as they released. They stood there for a moment as Mona playfully swung their hands around.

"So," she started, "what are we doing tonight?"

"Well, I was thinking a romantic dinner, with some wine of course, followed by a movie."

"Ah, and what wine will we be having?" Mona asked playfully.

"Only the finest of the '75 wine," he played along and they both laughed. She gave him another kiss before walking over to the couch.

"I like your apartment, very homey."

Ross smiled. "Thanks but most of the decoration came from Rachel."

He watched as Mona wandered the room, her fingers delicately tracing a pedal of a flower on one of the side tables.

"Oh? Well tell her I like her taste in flowers," Mona said as she spun around and smiled at him. "So where is Rachel anyways? I didn't get to see her today."

"She's over at Monica's. She wanted to give us our space," he answered, walking over to her and holding her hands. "Tonight will just be me and you."

"Well I like that," she answered and they kissed again.

Later, Ross went to the kitchen to grab the dinner and wine he had prepared for them as Mona continued to wander around the apartment. When he got back, he saw her engrossed in what appeared to be a picture frame as he set the food and wine next to the candles on the apothecary table.

"Whatcha looking at?" Ross asked, placing his hands on her waist from behind.

"Just this," Mona answered, showing him the picture frame. He'd never seen it before and he guessed Rachel had put it here before.

It was a picture of the six friends crowded around the coffee table at Central Perk, all of them smiling widely at the camera taking their picture. The younger looks on all their faces suggested it was taken years ago, possibly in their mid-twenties. He chuckled silently at the late '90s haircuts most of them had and how Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey all crowded on the orange couch just to get in the shot. However, what really got his attention was the image of him and Rachel off to the side with her perched up on his lap as he hugged her from behind.

"Is that Rachel?" Mona asked, pointing at the two of them in the armchair.

"I guess so," Ross answered, seeing how they had the largest smiles on their faces and he even noticed a sparkle in both their eyes. He wondered what that was about.

"You two must be really close."

"Yeah, we really are."

Gently, he took the picture from Mona's hands and looked closely at it again. Staring at the image of him and Rachel together, he recognised that sparkle in their eyes from somewhere but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Where had he seen that before, or more accurately, where did he know it from? All he knew was that both he and Rachel looked like they were extremely happy and he couldn't help but smile at the two of them together.

"Ross?"

Mona's voice snapped him out of his trance and he turned to see he seated on the couch.

"Are we going to have dinner? Come on," she beckoned and he nodded.

He looked at the picture one more time, smiling to himself before setting it down and going over to the couch.

What he didn't know was after looking at the picture, there was a sparkle in his eyes too.

…

She finally decided to go home at around 11. Haven spent the entire night playing poker and talking with her friends, she walked up the stairs of her apartment building with an extra $40 in her pocket, although she was pretty sure her friends had let her win on purpose. It's not like having extra cash helped with anything though. She had been plagued the entire night with him in the back of her mind, and though she didn't show it, she once again found herself falling apart at the idea of him with someone else.

As Rachel approached the apartment door, she took a deep breath and silently prayed that Mona had gone home for whatever reason. She listened in for anything through the door and was surprised to hear nothing and her hopes were raised a bit. Maybe they rescheduled or maybe they got into a fight. Even better, maybe they broke up and he was in there waiting for her to come home.

All her hopes and dreams came tumbling down in a heap of ash when she opened the door to him and Mona, snuggled up on the coach as they watched some movie on the TV. Her heart broke at the sight of them in that position, holding onto each other with her head gently rested on his shoulder. That was _her_ position; the one that she felt most comfortable when lying against him as it gave her a perfect area to inhale his scent all while feeling comforted and relaxed. Now, her position had been taken away by this other woman along with her most beloved treasure in the world.

"He used to be mine," she whispered silently, holding back the tears that were threatening her eyes.

Seeing that they hadn't noticed her yet, she quietly shut the door behind her. She hung up her coat and placed her keys on the side table, finally catching his eye when the clanging of her keys got their attention.

"Hey Rach, you're back," Ross said, giving her a small smile. She returned it half-heartedly. "How'd it go at Monica's?"

"It was ok," she answered plainly.

"Hi Rachel," Mona greeted.

"Hey" was all she said in return. Truthfully, she liked Mona. She was funny and nice and really comfortable to talk to. If not for the fact that she was dating the love of her life, she wouldn't be resenting her as much as she did now.

They both returned their attention back to the TV screen and she watched with weary eyes as Mona snuggled up onto his chest. He planted a gentle kiss on Mona's head and she looked up, earning a soft kiss on the lips before looking back at the movie. It was sweet, it was cute, and it was everything she wanted that she didn't have. She wanted to be the one he held and kissed and snuggled up with as they watched movies together. She remembered the time when she had been terrified by the horror movie Joey wanted to watch and he was there to comfort her and hold her, kissing away her fears with his compassion and caring nature. Seeing him with Mona killed her and at that moment, she just wanted to retreat to the safety of her room to be alone.

"Rach, do you want to join us?" Ross offered, gesturing to the open seat on the couch. "You love these cheesy romantic flicks."

She did and she so desperately wanted to watch them with him, but not with her. She had seen enough of them together to make her bawl her eyes out and she didn't wish to suffer the rest of the night with them cuddling within her eyesight.

"No thanks, I think I'm just going to go to bed," she answered, her voice cracking slightly.

"Are you ok? You never go to bed this early. Are you sick?" He unwrapped his arm from around Mona and made his way over to her, gently dabbing the back of his hand against her forehead to test her temperature.

All she could do was peer up into his eyes and see the care and concern he had for her. Those deep brown eyes washed away her sadness but only for a second as his hand left her forehead and she returned to reality. She quickly looked away, hoping he didn't see her tear up a bit at his affection.

"Well you don't have a fever, are you sure nothing's wrong?" Ross questioned and she nodded softly.

"I-I think I'm just tired," she lied forcing a small smile to show that she was alright, even though she was quite the opposite.

"Ok, get a good night's rest and if you're not feeling well in the morning then I'll take you to the doctors, ok?"

All she did was nod, her heart melting at the way he prioritized her first over anything. He wrapped her in a quick hug and she gently rested her cheek against his chest, inhaling his addictive scent. She never wanted to leave his arms again but when he released the embrace, all she could feel was emptiness.

With a quick 'goodbye', she headed for the bedrooms, not looking back as she knew her heart wouldn't be able to take it. As soon as she reached her room, she shut the door behind her and slid down to her knees, finally letting her emotions take over in the form of tears and sobs.

She already knew this would be the worst night of her life.

…

An hour had passed, or had it been two? Rachel sat up in bed, the darkness of her room engulfing her in a shadow of eerie gloom as the only source of light came from the moonlight shining through the small window. The room was utterly silent and the only sound that could be heard was the soft sobs being released from her mouth and the quiet drips of tears falling on the mattress.

In her hands was her infamous 'Ross box' filled with items she held closely to her heart. Each one represented a cherished memory of her relationship with him over the years and it was only suiting that in this time, when she had never felt more alone and empty in her life, she found the items that reminded her of what she held most dear to her heart.

The expensive pin he had bought her on her first birthday in the city, the first time she found out his love for her. The dinosaur bone from their first time they expressed their love for each other at the museum, a night she will never forget. A seashell from the beach, when they had attempted to get back together but also when she realised that she'd always be in love with him. All these items had a deep sentimental value to her and she would never trade them away for anything, but while it reminded her of the good times in the past, it also reminded her that she had lost the most important item of all: him.

She cried harder when she retrieved a heart-shaped Valentine's card he had given to her on their first Valentine's Day together. "You will always be my Valentine" is what it read on the inside and she brought it up to her chest with a trembling hand, pressing it against her own heart as if trying to reconnect that love from the past.

She was torn. She was broken. She was suffering from emotional pain and her heart felt like it had been ripped to shreds. Where was he to comfort her? Where was he to be her hero in her time of need? Where was the man she had fallen in love with because he was willing to risk his own life for hers? Outside, that's where he was, with Mona.

It wasn't fair.

She once had everything. He once belonged to her. Unwillingly she had let him go and now he belonged to another woman. Now, that woman had her everything and what was she left with?

Memories. Suffering. Darkness.

A new wave of tears fell from her eyes as she thought of the little hope she still held; a hope that seemed to be further and further away each day. She imagined the day when they'd be able to live happily ever after, finally putting the past behind them and moving onto a better future together. It all seemed so easy, yet as she had learned the hard way, in reality it truly wasn't.

Who could she blame for her suffering? She couldn't blame Mona; she was just a girl who was going out with another guy she liked. She certainly couldn't blame him since he was completely oblivious to the pain he was causing her and she couldn't blame her friends either as they were only looking out for her and Ross. So who could she blame?

Herself, that's who. If she wanted to get angry at someone, she could only be angry at herself. She was the one who put herself in this position with the stupid car crash. She was the one who was too stubborn to reveal her true feelings until it was too late. Yes, she was the one to cause herself so much pain and suffering.

She wanted to yell, she wanted to scream. She wanted to throw something and release all this sadness and frustration from her body. Every tear she shed was an indication of the internal pain where everything was falling apart. She felt numb, she needed love. She needed _his_ love but that wouldn't come. No, he was unintentionally showing that to someone else.

Eventually her thoughts died down, haven been drained of the capacity to think and remember. She set the box on her nightstand and brought her knees up to her chest, allowing all her emotions to flow outwards. She curled herself into a little ball, rocking gently back and forth as she sobbed lightly into her knees.

Tired of mourning of what she once had and the memories of better days, she began to wonder what they were doing right now. Were they still watching movies, snuggled up together on the couch? Or maybe they had gone to bed, cuddled up with their arms wrapped around each other as they slept peacefully. Then, she got the worst possible answer imaginable.

It was soft, almost inaudible. If she had been doing anything else but sobbing quietly in her room, she wouldn't have heard it but the sound was unmistakable. Soft, coherent moans passed through her thin walls and she knew at that very moment, she was in living emotional hell.

It was torturous; the sound drilling deep into her soul and carving out the remaining peace and sanity she had left over. She hated this, she hated it all. It should be her making those noises with him, enjoying his company in only ways he knew how. It should be her…

"Please…" she cried silently into the night. "… Please stop hurting me Ross… please..."

But her pleads and sorrows would never reach his ears and she was left to suffer on her own; alone, tortured, and emotionally spent. Her sobs became more divulged, as if asking for help as a last ditch effort, but no one came. She was left alone with the haunting sounds that made her tremble in devastation and the eerie darkness that seemed to welcome her pain with open arms.

That night, she ended up crying herself to sleep.

…

The next morning, Rachel woke up with a faint pain in her chest, a side-effect of a broken heart. She noticed the tear stains on her blanket and she thought back to the horrific night she had just gone through, knowing that there'd be many more night like that in the near future. It was surprising she even got any sleep and she was tempted to call in sick today so she wouldn't have to leave the room. Ironically, she was sick; sick of a lovesickness.

As she slowly crawled out of bed, she looked in her make-up mirror to find someone she didn't recognise. Her hair was thrown every which way and the dark rings under her eyes made pupils look smaller than normal. Her face colour was slightly pale, her eyes were red from the constant crying, and as she continued to stare at herself in the mirror, she knew that the pain had finally numbed her to a point where her physical appearance was being affected.

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she opened her bedroom door and trudged out. Unknowingly she walked right into the kitchen and without any warning, she crashed into another person.

"Oof." With the wind knocked out of her breath, she fell back and hit the cold hard floor.

"Rachel!"

She glanced up to meet the eyes she's missed throughout the night. His big brown eyes were filled with compassion and concern and as she stared into them, she felt her heart melt right in his hands.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. You're not hurt are you?" Ross gently took her hands in his and helped her up as she continued to stare into his eyes. For some reason, he looked even more handsome than he usually did, as if he was radiating some sort of attractiveness she had never noticed before. In this state of mind, she was completely at his mercy.

He continued to talk, asking if she was ok but it all went in one ear and out the other. She was drawn in this trance that he left her in and no matter how hard she tried; she couldn't get herself out of his eyes.

Suddenly Ross placed his hand on her forehead and almost instantaneously, she flinched backwards. Those hands, the ones that have touched another woman mere hours ago. The ones that should have been on her that night but instead tortured her with pain and suffering beyond belief and description. She imagined those hands to have Mona all over them and because of that they were like a poison to her.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" Ross asked, his voice full of concern. He took a step towards her again but she backed away. He tried again but the same thing occurred.

Thinking this was all a game; he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her forward into his awaiting arms. He pressed her firmly against his chest, one arm wrapped around her waist to keep her from moving as he finally dabbed the back of his hand against her forehead.

She once again found herself at his complete and utter mercy. The warmth she felt being so close to him. She could feel his toned chest and abs right through the fabric of her shirt and she took a deep breath of his smell; possibly the most amazing smell in the world. It was a mixture of men's cologne and his body odour and to her, it was the most addicting and enjoyable scent. Melting in his arms, she closed her eyes and enjoyed this much needed moment, no longer caring about where his hands have been. She just wanted to be with him again.

Seeing her close her eyes in his arms, Ross smiled softly and wrapped his free arm around her head, gently caressing her hair as she rested against his chest. He hadn't known what had happened or why she looked so distraught in the morning but he could tell she could use a little hug.

Eventually breaking the embrace, he held her out, inspecting her morning look. She was still amazingly beautiful, and though he probably shouldn't be thinking this way, Mona couldn't hold a candle to Rachel's beauty. However her appearance was slightly different and struck out immediately as she didn't seem to be the same cheerful Rachel he used to see in the mornings.

"Alright well you don't seem to have a fever but you look awful. Did you even sleep last night?" he questioned.

She didn't respond. She didn't know how. Before she could do anything he peered into her eyes, catching her off guard.

"Rachel, please tell me what's wrong."

His sweet voice made her tremble on the inside and she felt the tears beginning to make their way to her eyes. She shut them tightly, not allowing them to escape as she shook her head.

"N-nothing's wrong," she lied and turned away.

"Rachel…"

Her heart wanted to tell him but her mind wouldn't allow it. She ended up giving him the cold shoulder, not letting him in, even if he was trying as hard as he was. It was the only way she knew how to keep him away.

Ross sighed, seeing that he wasn't going to get an answer. "Alright, if you don't want to talk now, we can talk later. Remember that I'm always here for you Rachel, you know that." He reached out, giving her hand a little squeeze and that little gesture made her turn and lock eyes with his again. He smiled, knowing he was at least able to reach out to her and slowly, she returned it.

"So," Ross started, turning away towards the stove, missing the tear that had dripped down her cheek. "I'm making some bacon this morning, you want some?"

"Sure," she answered, quickly wiping away the tears from her eyes.

"And would you like some eggs with that?"

"Yes please."

"Your wish is my command milady," Ross stated, taking a mocking bow. She stifled a laugh, the first one in what seemed like ages. He was still so caring towards her and still could make her laugh, even in the darkest times. A small smile formed on face. Maybe, just maybe, things weren't as bad as it seemed…

Then, her short lived happiness all came to an end as she spotted _her_ quietly make her way over to him and hug him from behind. Her heart broke slightly and all the hope that had been resurfaced in that short amount of time was whisked away as she watched the scene unfold before her eyes.

"Good morning," Mona chirped happily and he turned around in her arms.

"Good morning to you too," kissing her compassionately on the lips. They were so happy and cute together that it tore her in half. Torture, yes, that's what this was. Torture…

"Hey Rachel," Mona said, spotting her off to the side.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" she asked with an unnoticeable sneer.

"Oh, the best," Mona answered and shared a small laugh with Ross.

That was enough for her. She'd rather die in a hole than watch him be happy with someone else. She shut her eyes, holding back tears as she felt the stinging pain in her heart once again.

"You know what, I'm actually not feeling all that well," she said suddenly. "I think I'm just going to go back to bed."

Ross let go of Mona for a second and took a step towards her. "If you're going to stay home maybe I should call in-"

"No, don't," she cut him off, looking away before he could peer into her eyes and see how devastated she was on the inside. "I-I just want to be alone right now..."

And before he could answer, she turned around and headed back to her bedroom.

…

 **Author's Note: I just want to say thank you to all the reviews on the last chapter. It's an incredible feeling to wake up in the morning and see multiple emails asking me to update sooner so thank you, all your support truly means a lot for me.**

 **As for update times, I typically try to update with another chapter once a week however there really isn't a set schedule. Past experiences have taught me that setting upload dates is inefficient and isn't fair to me or any of you guys so to keep that balance of neutrality, I'll only upload when I feel the chapter is ready and has been written with my best effort.**

 **Thanks again to everyone and I hope you enjoyed this sentimental chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Ross whistled cheerfully as he rinsed the dishes and set them in the dishwasher. The last plate went in and he dried his hands with a nearby towel, happily dusting them off as he looked at the neat and tidy kitchen.

 _Monica would be proud_ , he thought to himself and chuckled. He turned off the light as he left the kitchen and found himself standing in his living room, hands on his hip as he looked around.

Life was good right now. No, that was an understatement; life was _great_. He had a successful career, a caring family of friends, and to top it off, an amazing girlfriend to share this great life with. Though he knew that his memories hadn't fully returned to him and that he wasn't completely healed from his amnesia, he had finally reached a point where he could find peace with himself and the others around him.

Life was great… except one thing.

That thing was his roommate; his best friend, his confidant and favourite interest, who he knew was hiding out in her room doing whatever she does every night. She had been acting strange lately, locking herself away where no one can see or hear her and purposely spending a lot of time alone. He'd noticed that she'd been avoiding him as well, distancing herself away from him and pushing him away whenever he tried to question her odd behaviour. He was becoming more and more worried. She was his best friend after all and he knew something was bothering her immensely to avoid talking to him.

At first he had thought it was something he had done, perhaps something he had said that offended her or something he had done that was deserving of receiving the silent treatment, but when asked about it, she had immediately said that he had done nothing wrong.

Then he began to wonder if she had a problem with Mona. He worried that perhaps his best friend didn't like his girlfriend and that because he was with her, it was causing this rift between them. Throughout the week he had kept an eye out for any possible indications of whether this was true, but as he saw how well Rachel and Mona got along and how the two women talked so comfortably with each other, he had dropped his assumption completely.

So what was it that was bothering her so much? What was it that was causing his always cheerful Rachel to become this hard shell of a person? It bothered him to know that something was bothering her and he hated seeing her so sad and depressed all the time. When asked about it, he had been given every excuse in the book; she was sick, she was tired, she was just in a bad mood, but he saw right through her lies and could see it in her eyes that there was something far more than just time to time emotions. He had seen into her soul and saw how torn she was on the inside and it broke his heart to see her in such emotional pain.

Ross sighed and he turned towards the bedroom, seeing the dim light of her bedside lamp through the cracks of her door. He cared too much for her to let her go on like this any longer. She had to remember that he'd always be there for her through thick and thin and he knew that no matter how much she shut him out, he had to push through to get her to open up to him.

Nodding his head, he closed the living room lights and headed for the bathroom to clean up. He made his decision: tonight, he'd find out the truth.

…

The night was cold, though she no longer cared or felt it anymore. She was far too numb on the inside for the chilly night air to have an effect on her. Sitting in the same position she always sat in every night; Rachel leaned her back against the headboard of her bed and clutched her blanket to her chest as soft tears trickled down her cheek.

She was wearing her favourite shirt; the Frankie Say Relax one as it was the closest thing she had to him. His smell still lingered in the fabric of the shirt along with her own personal smell, creating this feathery aroma that brought her back to the days when they were dating. Back then, the only smell she could remember was that of when they cuddled up together in bed; his fragrance mixed with her fragrance and topped with the smell of fresh sex. That unmistakable smell intoxicated her with happiness, comfort, and all the sexual needs she'd ever need in the world and if she could pick up even the slightest bit of this aroma, she'd be satisfied.

But alas, even the smell was fading away, much like her hope of a better tomorrow.

How did life get to this point where she'd be so emotionally drained that she'd rather cry alone in her room than go out with her friends to a bar? Well, she knew exactly how she got to this point, and it was because of him. And it was because of this inexpressible feeling of love and compassion she felt for him that drove her mad with emotion.

To see him with another woman crushed her more than any physical pain on this earth. Sometimes she felt as though her heart had been torn out of her chest completely and that she was an empty soul wandering around. But that was what love was; it was this thing so desirable and needed that if you didn't have it, you would have nothing but once you did have it, you'd have everything. She wanted that feeling, she wanted her everything.

She wanted him.

But she couldn't have him.

She was alone.

And so sitting in her bedroom void of any other emotion but sadness and despair, she cried until her heart could cry no more. She'd cry and sob until her mind could no longer take the pain of emptiness and would shut off, sending her to sleep. Then the whole process would repeat the next night, and the night after that. When would it end? She knew when it would end. It would end when the void space in her heart is filled with his love and compassion, and _only_ _his_ love and compassion.

Rachel sniffled and closed her eyes, allowing the suffering to begin and take over. Her thoughts of better days were clouded by thoughts of the present time, where she had nothing but her own skin and bone to get her through the day. Her heart ached, like a hand grasping and tearing at it until it tore in two, but she had also gotten used to this too. This was what rock bottom felt like and she prayed that the saying 'thing can only get better' reigns true.

Since she was so indulged with her thoughts and feelings, the sudden sound of knocks on her bedroom door startled her. Suddenly she began to panic, knowing that was most definitely him outside and that if he saw her like this, he'd undoubtedly begin to worry. As quick as she could, she began ripping tissues out from the box on her nightstand, desperately trying to wipe away the continuous flow of tears from her eyes but it was all too late. The door swung open and he walked in.

"Rachel, could I talk to you about… oh my god!"

His look told her he was startled to see her with tears streaming down her face and as she tried to come up with an excuse, all that left her mouth was a desperate sob she had been holding back. After that, she broke down.

Ross quickly dropped whatever he wanted to talk about and rushed over to her side, taking a seat on her bed and embracing her in a comforting hug. She hugged his body tightly, burying her head into his shoulder. She felt relieved to finally be able to fall into is arms again.

"Shh, it's ok, I'm here," he whispered gently, caressing her hair. "Don't cry sweetie, you know how much it hurts me to see you cry."

All she could do was continue to cry. This was the first time in a long time she was finally able to be open with her emotions with him and right now, all she wanted to do was stay in his arms. As she sobbed hard into his shoulder, Ross kept whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Occasionally he'd give her cheek a little kiss to assure her he was still there and that kiss would be felt in the bottom of her heart.

Eventually her sobs died down and only the simple tear would fall from her eyes from time to time. With another tender kiss to her forehead, Ross gently broke the embrace, wiping away her tears on her cheek and looking deep into her eyes.

"Rachel, please tell me what's bothering you."

She looked down to avoid his pleading brown eyes and a lump appeared in her throat. "N-nothing's bothering me."

"Yes there is, I can see it in your eyes," he said, gently tilting her chin back up and this time they locked eyes. Their faces were so close she could feel his warm breath against her lips, sending a tingling feeling through her body. "Please talk to me," he reiterated.

She could feel his eyes searching for answers deep inside her soul but luckily her pain from the past few days covered up her secrets in the darkest of clouds. She desperately wanted to tell him but she had to shut him out. She had promised Monica and herself that she would.

Not getting an answer, Ross tried again. "Rachel, do you not like me anymore?"

She immediately perked up and blinked away a few tears. "No! Of course not!"

"Then why won't you let me in? Tell me what's wrong, let me help you. You know how much I care about you, please talk to me," he begged in the sweetest voice, making her heart melt at his affection.

Just like that, the internal conflict began again. Her heart and her mind were at odds once more and the pain of having to hide her feelings overcame her current emotions. Slowly, the tears returned to her eyes as she finally broke away from his compassionate eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't," she cried, her voice getting weaker as she broke down once again. "I can't-… I just… I-I just… I…"

Instantly he wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her into his body once more. She buried her face into his chest, clutching onto his shirt as he gently rocked her back and forth.

"Shh, no, don't be sorry. I'm sorry for asking." Ross gently rubbed her back as her small form quivered in his arms. "I've just been so worried about you Rachel. You never talk to me anymore and it hurts to see you so sad all the time. Please tell me you know that you can always talk to me and that I'll always be here for you."

She gently nodded against his chest and he sighed.

"Well then I guess as long as you know that, I'll stop worrying so much."

She nodded again and he gently squeezed her small frame into him more. Her tears stained his shirt but she was so grateful he was here with her. She felt so guilty not telling him the truth and knowing how much he worried about her just reminded her of how sweet of a guy he was. He was her perfect man; the man of her dreams, except right now she was still living in a nightmare. Until he'd finally be hers again, she'd never be able to escape her living hell.

The two of them remained in that position for what seemed like hours. Her small arms clutched tightly around his torso as her head gently rested against his chest. She could feel the powerful toned muscles he's developed under the shirt and as she inhaled, his scent helped relieve the pain of broken love. At that moment, she desperately wanted to stay in this position forever and when she felt him begin to pull away, a light whimper escaped from her lips.

"It's getting late, you should sleep," Ross whispered softly, gently resting her down against her pillow and covering her up. He saw the pleading look in her eyes and he tenderly kissed her cheek and her forehead.

Seeing that he was tucking her in, she suddenly didn't want to be alone tonight. She knew that asking him to stay was very much testing the limit of her boundaries and that if Monica found out, she'd surely get an ear-full the next day. It was stupid, it was selfish, it was extremely irresponsible, but honestly, she didn't care. For once, her heart and her mind came to an agreement that they didn't want him to leave tonight.

As he stopped caressing her face and stood up to leave, a light tug on his arm wouldn't permit it. He looked down to see the desperate look she was giving him and he got lost in her big, attractive blue eyes.

"P-please, stay with me tonight?" she asked in a soft, velvet voice.

He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. "Of course I will. Anything for you."

A small smile came onto her face as well as she watched him turn off her light and slip under the covers with her. Lying face-to-face, they gazed into each other's eyes, lost in a moment of pure compassion and care. His thumb reached up and traced her cheek, wiping away the few tears that still remained. She let out a soft laugh and his smile lit up in the dark, melting her pained heart.

She moved over onto his body, intertwining their legs as she hugged his body and rested her head against his chest. She felt his hand caressing her back and she sighed. Feeling the comfortable warmth of his body against hers and the soft sound of his beating heart, she gently closed her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly and dozed off, finally allowing her thoughts to take over.

…

Rachel walked through the early streets of New York, her eyes fluttering shut on occasion as she tried her best to stay awake until she could grab her morning coffee. Tired was an understatement, she was exhausted.

Surprisingly, she hadn't slept well at all last night. With him as company, she had thought that she'd be able to have the most comfortable sleep she'd have in a while but instead the opposite happened. She had been plagued with nightmares all night and if she remembered correctly, she had awoken multiple times as a result of these bad dreams.

What were these bad dreams about? Well, they were about him. That night she had felt a sense of guilt, like she was forcing Ross to cheat on Mona with her for her own selfish needs. This feeling had carried over to her dreams where she had been reminded countless times of how he wasn't hers and that she was making a huge mistake by asking him to stay with her for the night. She kept seeing him with her, over and over again. And each time, she was just his friend, nothing more, and by the end of it, he would always choose Mona over her.

All in all, she had not slept well and when she had woken up in the morning to find a note saying he had to run some errands, she was more than relieved to know she wouldn't have to encounter him in the morning.

She quietly shook her head at herself and opened the doors to Central Perk, stepping in and inhaling the coffee smell lingering in the air. As she entered, she noticed all her friends sitting around the orange couch and she went over to greet them all.

"Hey Rach," they responded individually while Ross just gave her a small smile from the couch. He looked just as tired as she did and she wondered if she was the cause for that.

She circled around the back of the couch and set her purse down on the small table, ordering a small coffee from Gunther from the counter. As she turned to see what her friends were talking about, she immediately took notice to the large number of empty coffee mugs sitting on the coffee table in front of Ross and she silently questioned it in her head.

However she wasn't the only one to notice this as the rest of her friends were all watching Ross with intent eyes as he downed the next cup of coffee in one go. When he was finished, he placed the now empty coffee mug next to the several other ones and reached for the full one in the corner of the table.

"Wow, you're drinking a lot of coffee this morning Ross," Monica pointed out as Rachel got her own coffee from Gunther.

"I have to, I've got an important lecture later today and I feel exhausted."

Chandler snorted as Rachel gently sipped her coffee. "Well you sure _look_ exhausted. Did you not get _any_ sleep last night?"

"Not really…" he yawned, "Rachel kept rolling around in her sleep."

Instantly her eyes widened, as did everyone else's, and she unconsciously spat out the coffee back into the mug. Panic filled her entire body as there was only one thought on her mind at the moment.

 _D-did he just say what I think he said?_

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Monica exploded and she gulped. _Crap…_

"Calm down Mon, all we did was sleep with each other," Ross said calmly, taking a sip of his coffee. He clearly didn't understand the alternative meaning he was letting on. She winced when she caught Monica's death-piercing glare.

"YOU _SLEPT_ WITH EACH OTHER?!"

"Yes, that's what I just said," he responded with a chuckle and at that moment, Rachel wanted to find a hole and lie in it. The shocked looks on all her friends faces told her this was not going to end well.

For a moment, everyone just kind of looked at each other; Chandler, Joey and Phoebe with their astonished looks, Monica looking like her head was about to burst, Rachel shyly looking away and avoiding her friend's gazes, and Ross, who understood none of this, just looked around with a hint of confusion on his face. Suddenly, before anybody could move or say anything, a phone went off and Ross yawned again, reaching into his pocket to answer it.

"Hello you've reached Ross Gellar, what can I do for you?... Oh hey Mike, how's it going man?..." Ross looked over at Phoebe who gave him a little wave. "… Yeah, I'm here with everyone… yeah… Phoebe says 'hi'… mm hmm… ok… really?"

He put a hand over the receiver and stood up, motioning to the phone. "It's Mike, I've got to take this," he explained to everyone before walking off into the back to continue his talk.

As soon as he disappeared, all eyes fell on Rachel and she felt increasingly uncomfortable under the intense stares. She quietly took a seat on the couch where Ross was sitting, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"WELL?!" Monica aggressively pressured and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Well…what?" she played dumb.

"Well what?! Well why don't we just forget the fact that you SLEPT with him last night!"

Rachel put her coffee down on the table. "Ok, we slept with each other last night but nothing happened! I… I was upset and he came to comfort me… so… so I asked him to stay with me for the night."

"What the hell were you thinking?! What if something _did_ happen? Knowing you, _anything_ could have happened and you chose to risk that just so you could feel _comforted_?!" She looked down in shame as Monica continued to scold her. "I told you not to do anything stupid and you go ahead and do this!"

"Rach, Mon's right. That was really irresponsible of you. Even Joey wouldn't have done something like that," Chandler added in a more relaxed tone and Joey nodded in agreement.

Monica huffed. "Irresponsible, that's an understatement. You know-"

"Alright!" she finally yelled, looking up with tears in her eyes. She knew her friends were only looking out for her and Ross but lately, she's felt like they've been against every decision she makes.

"I get it, what I did was stupid. Don't you think I know that already?" she looked down softly, holding back a sob. "You guys are supposed to be my friends… can't you take a look at my perspective and see what I've had to deal with lately?"

Monica's look softened, as did everyone else's, and she took a cautious step forward. Placing a gently hand on Rachel's shoulders she took a seat on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you Rach. I guess I never thought of it like that."

Rachel gently looked back up and sniffled a bit. "Mon, you once asked me if I knew how painful it was to tell someone you love them and not have them say it back. B-but do you know how painful it is… to love someone so much… but not be able to tell them you love them b-because they wouldn't understand… or… or worse, risk hurting them…?"

Her voice was slowly breaking down but she refused to cry out again. She struggled to hold back her tears as the sympathetic looks of her friends peered at her from the outside.

"Y-you… you have no idea of how much p-pain… and suffering… I've had to deal with. And… and when I see him with her… it hurts. I-it hurts so much… I…" A soft sob escaped from her mouth and she quickly wiped away a tear that was forming in her eyes. Suddenly she remembered that he was still here and could return any moment to see her like this. "I-I've got to go."

The group watched as she quickly stood up and grabbed her bag, avoiding eye contact with any of them to conceal her true emotions. As she started heading towards the door, Monica reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Rachel," Monica said, stopping her in her tracks, "I'm sorry."

She sighed and closed her eyes, allowing a single tear to roll down her cheek. "I know. I… I just want to be alone right now…" And with that, she disappeared out the door.

As soon as she left, the four friends looked at each other with the same look of empathy as they each took their seats again.

"I feel awful," Monica said as she looked towards the door.

"It's alright honey," Chandler said, rubbing her shoulders. "She knows you didn't mean anything you said. She just needs a little time to herself."

Monica nodded and opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could, Ross returned and took his seat on the couch.

Looking around, he noticed the soft looks on everyone's faces and he raised a questioning eyebrow. "What happened? You all look like someone's dog just died or something." He looked around again and saw that Rachel was no longer there either. "Where's Rachel?"

"She said she had to get to work early," Phoebe lied and her friends eyed her carefully.

"Hmm ok…" Ross seemed to consider something as he took a sip of his coffee. "You know, she's been acting really strange lately. Has anyone else noticed that?"

The four friends looked at each other with the same knowing look.

"Um… what do you mean?" Joey countered.

"I don't know really know… all I do know is that she's been looking so sad recently and whenever I try to talk to her, she just pushes me away. Then last night I found her so upset. I've never seen her cry so hard before and I'm really worried. Any of you know what might be bothering her?"

The gang once again exchanged nervous glances with each other.

"Nope."

"None from me. Phoebe?"

"No idea. How about you Monica?"

Monica didn't respond right away. In her mind, she was still thinking about how she had scolded Rachel for doing something stupid when she hadn't even taken the time to consider how her feelings were being affected. Truthfully, she still felt very guilty and at that moment, an idea popped into her mind that could not only ease that guilt but could also repay Rachel for how she acted.

"Actually, I think I might now what's bothering her…"

"You do?" Ross perked up, desperately wanting to know what's been having such an effect on his best friend. "I'm so worried Mon, please tell me."

Monica cleared her throat and avoided the confused and shocked looks on her friends' faces. "Well, I think one of the reasons Rachel has been so distant lately is because she's been feeling lonely."

"What? Why would she feel that way?"

"Well, ever since you started dating Mona, Rachel's been telling me how you guys never get to hang out anymore and she's really beginning to miss you," Monica explained and in the corner of her eye, she noticed the small smiles on her friends' faces as they finally understood what she was doing.

"Wow… I… I had no idea…"

Ross looked down at the ground, lost in thought. Now that he thought about it, he really hadn't had a chance to spend some quality time with her and though they saw each other every day, they hadn't gone out or done something together in weeks. A part of him wondered why she hadn't mentioned it earlier and a small feeling of guilt arose in his stomach. _Is this why she was pushing me away?_ He knew what he had to do.

Looking down at his watch, he saw that he was going to be late for his lecture if he didn't leave soon and he quickly downed the rest of his coffee.

"Alright, well I have to go. That's for telling me that Mon," he said as he gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

"So what are you planning on doing now?"

He smiled. "I have something in mind..." and he left the coffee house, unknowing to the large grins on the others' faces.

As he crossed the street, an idea formed in his mind and he knew exactly what to do later tonight. He took out his cell phone and dialed in a number, holding it up to his ear.

"Hey honey, it's me. I'm really sorry but I don't think I can make that date of ours tonight…"

…

Later that evening, Ross opened the door to his apartment and walked into the living room, only now just getting home since he usually works late on Wednesdays. As he began to take off his jacket, he looked around expectantly, knowing that she was home since the lights were on.

Almost on cue, he spotted Rachel stepping out from the kitchen door, softly munching on some crackers. He noticed the tired, almost saddened look on her face, though she was still stunning as he still saw the inner beauty that not many saw beyond her looks. He smiled, wondering how she'd react when she found out what he had planned.

"Hey," he greeted happily.

"Hi…" she responded in a soft tone, glancing into his eyes before inadvertently looking away. "So, uh, got any plans for the night?"

Ross just smiled. "Sure do. We're going out."

Her face dropped and looked down. She really didn't want to know about whatever date he had planned for Mona. She guessed that it'd be another lonely night in her room by herself again.

"Oh… where you, um, taking her?"

Ross chuckled, knowing that she thought he was talking about Mona. "No, I mean _we_ 're going out. Go get dressed; I want to leave as soon as possible."

She perked up at his response. "Really?"

"Of course," he laughed at her innocent look, making his way over to her. "I realised that we haven't done something together in a while so I thought I'd take you out tonight."

"B-but what about Mona? I thought you guys usually go out on Wednesdays."

"Not tonight. I canceled so we could spend some time together."

A small smile appeared on her face as she thought about what he's done for her. _Had he canceled a date with Mona just for her?_

"Besides," Ross said, nudging her playfully, "Monica told me you've been feeling a little lonely lately and I can't have my _wittle Wachel_ feeling all sad now can I?"

She laughed softly at his nickname for her and inadvertently blushed. Monica… God, she'd have to thank her later. She'd have to thank her a lot. Her lonely night had just been turned upside down.

Seeing her lost in thought, he gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "Please tell me you're happy now."

She looked up and smiled lovingly into his eyes. God, and him… he was so sweet. She loved him so much…

"I am."

"Good," he said, planting a soft kiss on her head. Suddenly he pulled away and gave her a gentle push towards the bedrooms. "Now go get changed. I know you take forever anyways."

And she had to laugh.

…

The place was livid with action when they arrived. People were dancing and chatting and having a good time as light fitting music played in the background.

Rachel had been surprised when he had brought them to a night club that she had never been to before, even though it had been within walking distance from their apartment. Ross had explained that it was a newly opened club that Mike wanted him to check out since he was being offered a job to play here. It was also the reason for Mike's call earlier that morning and when he had found out about how lonely she's been, he immediately had the idea of bringing her here.

"Killing two birds with one stone," he had said which made her laugh.

Looking around, she had to nod at how positive the atmosphere felt inside. It was a casual place for casual people, and she made a mental note to tell Mike to take the job.

"So, what do you want to do first?" Ross asked, gently placing his hand on the small of her back.

She shrugged and looked over at the bar. "I'm kind of thirsty."

"Then drinks it is!"

They ordered their drinks and took a seat at the bar, talking and laughing with each other as they lightly drank to their amusement. It wasn't practical to get drunk in the middle of the week so they made sure not to go overboard, although they still enjoyed themselves nonetheless, even taking shots sometime later.

As she laughed at some joke he had made about one of his students at the university, she couldn't help but think about how well this night had been so far. Talking to him was the best feeling in the world and she recognised the warm feeling in her chest when he touched her from time to time. It was nice and comfortable, and all just came naturally. He was her best friend after all. No one could ever get her to laugh like he did.

The night progressed and they found themselves on the dance floor some time later. Neither of them were good dancers but they really didn't care. As long as they were together, they found themselves dancing the night away to any genre of music. Slow songs, upbeat songs, jazz songs, karaoke… it didn't matter since they still had fun and at the end of every song, she still managed to return to his arms with a smile.

Swaying to the music, she giggled when he spun her around and pulled her into his arms. She looked up and stared into his eyes as they slowly moved to the romantic song playing in the background. The familiar feeling of her heartbeat pounding in her chest combined with the intense look he had in his chocolate eyes made her feel like she was falling in love with him all over again. And again… and again… and again…

She couldn't remember the last time she had been happier, and it was all thanks to him.

The song changed and they remained on the dance floor, dancing till their hearts content. It felt like hours later when they finally returned to their seats at the bar, still laughing about how stupid they must have looked while trying to match the moves of the other.

"Had I ever told you of how I tried to make it as a dancer?" Ross mentioned, taking a sip of his beer. By this time, most of the people had cleared out and only a few stragglers remained, including them.

"No way!" she giggled at the image of him in spandex and he nodded in amusement.

"It's true! I had this dream about it and when I told Monica, she laughed and showed me pictures that my grandma had left over."

"Well now I can't wait to see them."

"Oh no, you do _not_ want to see me in those tiny pants," Ross chuckled.

She laughed again. "Come on, it can't be that bad. I'm sure you looked just as cute as you do now."

"Hah! I'd love to see you in spandex."

"In your dreams Geller" and they both broke out laughing.

Rachel took a sip of her own beer and set it down on the counter, looking over at him and giving a heart-felt smile. She loved every moment of this night and truthfully, she never wanted it to end. It had been so long since she'd been able to enjoy his company like now, especially when Mona had come around, and though he had made it clear countless times that he'd always put her as importance, only tonight did she finally realise that he was being honest.

She hadn't lost him as much as she thought she did. He was still her friend, her _best_ friend and though that didn't sound as pleasant as lover, it was enough for now.

Their eyes locked and with her eyes she expressed her gratitude for what he's done for her tonight. In response, he gave her a small smile that said 'anytime' and she returned it. They both began falling into a trance but a sudden tap on her shoulder startled her and broke their eye contact.

Annoyed, she turned around to find a man standing behind her. The large grin on his face told her he wanted to do more than just talk and she immediately took a disliking to the stranger.

"Hi," she said, blatantly showing her disinterest in her voice.

"Hey girl, I saw you from across the room and thought 'what was such a hot girl doing at a place like this?'"

She frowned, smelling the alcohol on his breath. "Um… thanks."

The man flashed a toothy grin and leaned against the counter of the bar. She felt his eyes scan her body, particularly lingering on her breast and she immediately found him disgusting.

"So, what do you say we get out of here," he slurred, "I know a motel around here and I sure could show someone like you a good time."

She looked at the man with even more disgust from before. What was it with her and drunks? She hated situations like these, especially when she just wanted to enjoy her time with Ross.

"So…? What's it gonna be baby girl?" he pressed, leaning towards closer towards her.

"Sorry, I'm, uh, seeing someone," she lied. For some reason all she could think about was Ross and when she did, the words just seemed to fall out of her mouth.

The man frowned. "Yeah? Is it this guy?"

She turned back around to look at Ross, who seemed to be inspecting the man closely. The look on his face told her that he didn't like him anymore than she did.

"No I'm just a friend."

 _Damn it Ross!_ She screamed in her head as she nervously glanced back at the drunk.

"Oh so he's not here then, that's perfect. So what do you say girl?"

"No thanks, I'm uninterested," she responded coldly and turned her back on the man. She expected him to leave them alone but of course, that would be too easy.

"Come on baby. You won't regret it."

"I said no."

"Don't be like that, I know you want to. Ditch the loser and I'll give you the best time of your life." The man tried putting his hands on her shoulder but she flinched in disgust.

"No, leave me alone," Rachel said more forcefully and peered at Ross, pleading for his help with her eyes.

"Hey, she said 'no' so why don't you just back off?" Ross barked at the man who seemed taken back a bit. She smiled at him and completely turned her back to the drunk.

"That's it, stop being such a little bitch!"

Suddenly without any warning, she felt a hand grab her left breast and grope her. She yelped and slapped the man's hand away, jumping of her seat to hide behind Ross for protection. The man tried to grab at her arm but she felt a large presence pass her by and a moment later, a slam was heard behind her.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on her!"

Ross glared at the man who he had thrown to the counter. In the background, the music stopped and everyone turned to see what was going on as he pinned him by the collar.

"Whoa man, chill out," the drunk slurred, "I'm just trying to get laid here. Besides, I don't see why you're not banging a chick like that already."

Anger boiled inside of him as he pressed down harder. How dare he think of Rachel like she was some sort of object. At first, the man tried to fight his grasp but Ross was stronger than he looked and soon, incompetence turned into fear.

"People like you disgust me," he spat in his face. "I may not be her boyfriend but I care for her too much to let some bastard like you treat her like that."

The man tried to say something but Ross was pressing down so hard that it appeared like it was hard for him to breath. He continued to glare at the drunk with an intense look of anger and fury.

"I'll make your decision easy for you. You are going to apologize to her for what you did then get the hell out of here. I never want to see you anywhere near her or this place again or I'll be the first person and last person you'll have to deal with. Got it?!"

He picked up the man who took a needed breath of air. "Apologize!"

"I'm sorry."

"Good, now get the hell out of here."

With that, Ross practically threw him towards the door, making the drunk stumble and fall. He quickly got up and sprinted out the door, not looking back as everyone who was watching gave Ross a round of applause.

Quickly, he walked towards Rachel who had her arms wrapped around her body and a distraught look on her face. She trembled slightly at his touch but when she saw it was him, her eyes glistened with tears.

"Please tell me he didn't hurt you." Rachel shook her head.

"Thank God, come here."

He engulfed her in a hug and felt her close her eyes and rest her head against his chest. Another round of applause went off behind him as he gently stroked her hair and comforted her. They remained in that position for another minute before she pulled away and he kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"Let's get out of here."

…

They silently walked the streets of New York with his protective around wrapped around her shoulders and her head gently leaned on his shoulder. A cool breeze gave her chills but she didn't mind because with him so close to her, she would always be warm under his touch.

He had saved her, again. The anger in his eyes when that man tried to grope her. That fiery look he gave him when she was being abused and overwhelmed. His care and concern for her made her heart melt and at that moment, she so badly wished she was able to call him her boyfriend.

As they turned a block, Ross nudged her playfully and looked down into her eyes. He gave her a caring smile and she smiled back, unable to control the amount of love she felt for him right now.

"You know Rachel; I had no idea that you're seeing someone right now."

She gulped. _Crap, he remembered that?_

"Um ,y-yeah I am," she stuttered, "he's really shy though so I don't think you'll be able to meet him."

"Oh? Well tell me about him."

She stopped in her tracks and he stopped as well. She began staring at the man she loved so much, looking into those large brown eyes as she let her heart speak for itself.

"Well, h-he's tall and _very_ well built. He's got brown hair and these amazing brown eyes. Then he's got this smile that just lights up my world and makes me feel like I'm in heaven when he looks at me."

Ross seemed to take in all this information, nodding his head. "Hmm, ok. What about his personality?"

"He's the sweetest, nicest, most amazing guy I've ever known in my life," she explained, not breaking the eye contact with him. "He's smart, and funny, and so extremely caring towards me. He treats me like I'm some kind of princess and comforts me whenever I need him. I like him so much... but… I'm not sure if he feels the same way right now."

"Well why don't you ask him? I'm sure he likes you just as much."

She looked down. "Maybe…"

He lifted her chin up with his finger and stared into her deep pools of blue. "Listen, you're the most beautiful and adorable person I know and this guy should consider himself lucky to be with you. And if he doesn't know what he has then he's not the right one for you because you deserve only the best Rachel."

They looked at each other and sub-consciously, the both began leaning in. She could feel his breath tickling her lips as she continued to stare into his eyes. A kiss was bound to happen if she didn't control herself but it seemed like neither he nor her could push away this connection they had between them. For her, it was something she had longed for for so long and for him, it was something completely new yet somehow familiar.

Suddenly the sound of a phone went off and their moment was broken. She quickly looked away, hoping he didn't see how deep of a blush she had as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?... Oh hi sweetie… yeah Rach and I are just going back now…" Her heart dropped when she realised that it was Mona calling. "… What? Now?... Oh, ok, I'll be right over."

Ross hung up the phone and turned to her. "That was Mona, she said she has some emergency at her place and wants me to go over."

She had to try desperately hard not to frown. Why did she have to call now? "Oh, ok."

"Yeah, I'll probably be staying over there too so you can just head home if you want," he said, noticing her look at the ground. He took her hands in his and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I had such a great time tonight. I hope we'll be able to do this again soon."

She forced a smile onto her face. "Yeah… me too."

He smiled back and gave her another kiss on the cheek before turning around and walking the other way. She just stood there, in the cold, alone, watching him walk away and leaving her to be with his girlfriend.

He was her protector, her saviour.

But he still wasn't hers.

…

 **Author's Note: Sorry for the later update but as I said before, at this point in the story its quality over quantity. I hope you all enjoyed and feel free to leave a review.**

 **By the way, do you guys like Epilogues? I'm wondering if you guys want one for the ending of this story and I'll probably end up publishing it along with the final chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The sound of her heeled-boots clicked in a synchronized rhythm as Rachel walked along the streets of the busy city. The evening weather provided a light wind that blew the hair out of her face as well as a slight chill up her spine but she didn't really feel it; she was already shivering from something else.

As soon as she rounded the corner of the block, she froze in her tracks, staring straight ahead at a single-story house a few doors down. A lump appeared in her throat as she looked at the house and slowly, she began making her way down the street. Her hands shifted in and out of her pocket and she nervously looked around after every few steps almost in a paranoid manner.

When she finally reached the house, she cautiously walked up to the doorway, feeling incredibly small at the moment as if the door towered over her at several feet in the air. She nervously bounced on the balls of her feet and her arms remained by her side as she was too afraid of making any kind of movement whatsoever.

As she nervously stood there, too afraid to do anything, her thoughts drifted back to the reason she found herself here in the first place…

It had been right in the morning, shortly after returning home from a morning jog. She remembered finding a single missed call on her cell phone and back then, she had already gotten a bad feeling from the blinking light indicating an unread voicemail. Hesitantly, she had made the fateful mistake of playing the message and as soon as she heard the voice, a shiver went down her spine.

" _Hey Rachel its Mona. I was just wondering if you could come over to my house later today, say… 7:00? I've got something I want to talk to you about so I hope you can make it out. See you soon."_

 _What could she want?_ Was what she had asked herself afterwards and she feared for the worst. Could Mona have found out about them sleeping together that one night? Or maybe she didn't like the fact that her boyfriend and his roommate were beginning to spend more time together. Either way, Mona's tone was unreadable. She wasn't sure if she sounded angry or hurt or somewhere in between. The only way to find out was to go ahead with the visit, something she had not been looking towards all day.

And now, standing in front of Mona's front door, Rachel began to worry that this wasn't the best idea. She could walk away right now and put an end to this nervous breakdown of hers and no one would ever know. But then again, if this was about her relationship with Ross then surely Mona would eventually tell him about it and that would be the last thing she wanted. With a final gulp, she made her decision to go through with it and if Mona was going to kill her for whatever reason, it's better sooner than later.

Her shaky hand reached for the doorbell and a moment after it rang, the door was unlocked and swung open. Mona stood in the doorway looking her normal cheery self but that only heightened her nerves as it was hard to tell what her true intentions were.

"Rachel! So glad you could make it," Mona greeted, surprising her with a friendly hug.

"Um.. uh, yeah, no problem," she stuttered as she was welcomed in. The two women walked into the living room where Mona smiled and motioned to the couch.

"Here have a seat," and she did so without a second thought. She was feeling incredibly light-headed at the moment. "Would you like some water? I also have some snacks in the kitchen if you'd like."

"No that's alright, thank you."

Mona took a seat at the opposite end of the couch and an awkward silence proceeded. She could feel her eyes looking at her but she refused to make eye-contact, fearing that it might start up a conversation. Her palms began to sweat from how nervous she was and her leg started to bounce uncontrollably. Only her hand managed to stop her leg and she played with her hair with the other one; one of the little obnoxious things she does when she's nervous.

"So, how was your day today Rachel?" Mona asked, trying some small talk.

"Fine, how was yours?"

"Not bad, the restaurant doesn't usually have many customers during the day."

Rachel merely nodded her head and just like that, the conversation died out and the awkward silence returned. She cleared her throat and started to tap on her knees, still nervous as ever for when the real talk was going to come up.

Mona cleared her throat as well, shifting closer on the couch. _Here it goes…_ , she thought to herself.

"Ok, well I can probably guess you're wondering why I asked you to come over today."

"Actually could I get a glass of water please?" She quickly asked, buying some time to avoid the subject. She also needed some water to clear her dry throat.

"Of course, I'll be right back," Mona said and left for the kitchen. During the few minutes she was gone, Rachel attempted to recompose herself and shortly afterwards, Mona returned with her glass of water. "Here you go."

"Thank you," she smiled weakly and began to slowly chug the water down. The cool liquid sliding down her throat was refreshing and after a moment, she had to set the water down in order to breath.

"Alright, well if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you about something," Mona finally said and she gulped.

"Um… y-yeah sure. What about?"

Mona scratched her head. "Ok, there's no real easy way of saying this… Before we start, I just want to disclose that I'm not one to make assumptions before knowing all the facts so right now, I'm not mad or anything. I'm just a little curious... I-is there something going on between you and Ross?"

She knew it. She knew it from the start, but now that it was finally brought up, she had no idea of how to continue.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Well you guys are really close and you both obviously care for each other a lot. I have no problem with that but I feel like there might be something else happening between you two," Mona continued. "I've asked Ross about it and he has no idea of what I'm talking about so I thought I might ask you."

She nervously coughed and scratched her throat. "Well to answer your question, no, there's nothing going on between us."

Mona raised an eyebrow. "Are you being honest? I won't get mad if there is, I just want to know the truth."

"Ok, uh… the truth…"

What was the truth? That there was nothing going on between them and that she didn't have any feelings for him at all? Rachel looked at Mona and sighed. It would be wrong for her to lie, especially to an innocent girl who's just trying to figure out things with her boyfriend. Mona deserved to know the truth. She sighed again.

"Alright, the truth is that… there is something going on between us… but it's not what you think! Its… its complicated..."

"Complicated? How so?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Ross and I… we have this huge history with each other. We used to date years ago and we broke up, but ever since then, we've had this kind of on-again off-again relationship between us that we just never managed to get out of."

"Oh, so he was lying to me when I had asked him originally," Mona stated by putting two and two together.

"No! No, believe me, he is telling the truth from his end," she quickly responded and knew that she had to explain the car crash. "You see, a couple months ago, seven to be exact, Ross and I… we were in a car accident."

"Oh my God, what happened?"

She bit on her lower lip as images of what happened flashed in her mind. "Well, basically we were driving down the interstate when he had said something that pissed me off. I was so angry that I took my hands off the wheel by accident and we hit a bump, causing the car to spin off the road and roll down an escarpment."

"That's terrible! Were you injured at all?" Mona asked and she looked down, hiding away a single tear that had appeared from the horrific memory.

"Well that's the thing... I wasn't injured too badly because of him. When the car was thrown into the air, Ross… he draped his body over mine to protect me."

"Wow, that's… that's incredible," Mona said, touched at what Ross did to protect someone he cared about so much.

"It really was, and it's what made me realise that I never truly got over him, and that he still cared for me more than I had thought. B-but there was a catch… Ross… he was badly injured in the crash and fell into a coma for 3 months."

Mona blinked and looked taken aback as if she was shocked to learn all this only now. "What? Why hasn't he mentioned any of this to me before?"

"It's because he can't remember any of it," she explained in a sad tone. "When he finally awoke from his coma, we found out that he had suffered brain damage and that he was now suffering from a severe case of amnesia. The doctor said that he couldn't remember anything related to the emotion of love and that he needed time to heal…"

"…which is why he can't remember anything from his past," Mona finished and she nodded.

"Yes, but he's been healing over the past few months. We managed to help him remember his parents and other aspects of his past life, like his marriages and Ben. I'm sure he's told you about that." Mona nodded her head and she sighed as she continued. "Right, well that's when his memories began to heal even more and he began to remember the concept of dating. He told me that he wanted to find someone to be passionate with, to not only help him remember the past but also to help him relearn about relationships. I… I wanted to be the one who he went out with but everyone else said that it wasn't smart for me to reveal my feelings for him yet."

"And that's when I came in; to be the girlfriend to help him heal," Mona concluded, finally understanding why Ross was different than the other guys she used to date. He never really understood any advances she had made towards him and now it all made sense.

"Yeah and I'm really sorry about that if you feel like you're being used or something."

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help and besides, Ross is a fantastic boyfriend," she said but saw how Rachel looked down at the ground. "…oh… now I get it…"

Holding back tears, she nodded and looked back up. "The truth is… seeing him with you… it's been killing me on the inside. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really like you Mona. I think you're a great person and I have no problems with you… but it's just seeing him with someone other than me… it really hurts."

Seeing how she was slowly breaking down, Mona moved over and put an arm around her shoulders, gently rubbing her right arm.

"You still love him, don't you?"

She nodded slowly, revealing her glossy eyes. "I… I love him so much that it hurts. I just want him back so I can finally tell him how I feel about him. I just want my old Ross back…"

A few tears fell from her eyes and Mona embraced her in a soft hug. "I'm so sorry Rachel, for getting between both of you. If I knew about how you felt towards him I would have never started dating him."

"Oh no, don't be sorry," she said, wiping away some tears. "In fact, I should be thanking you. It's because of you that he's healed so much and the others are always saying how he's bound to start remembering the past soon. If it weren't for you, he'd be completely oblivious to how relationships work and he'd be nowhere near as happy as he is now."

Mona smiled. "Well thank you for not hating me but I don't think I can agree with that last part. He'd probably be just as happy as he is now since he'd still have you in his life."

She stifled a soft laugh and looked down. "Maybe…"

"You know he's in love with you too. He just doesn't know it himself."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, he's always talking about you and he tells me every day of how lucky he is to have someone like you as his best friend," Mona said. "Besides, whenever you're in the room, his eyes always seem to light up and they even begin to sparkle sometimes when you're around. I know I'm his girlfriend and all but I've always known that he cares for you much more than he does for me."

"No way, I'm sure he cares for you a lot too," Rachel pointed out.

"Oh, of course he does. He's still the most caring boyfriend I've ever had, but with you, it's like he'd rather make you happy than even himself. Believe me Rachel when I say that he's probably just as in love with you as you are with him. I see it in both your eyes. I've never seen anything like it before and its really something special."

Rachel smiled. "Well he's the one that makes it special… He's the one that makes _me_ special…"

"Awww, you guys are so cute together. I can already see it now."

Both women shared a laugh and Mona pulled her into another friendly hug. She felt relieved to finally be able to get everything off her chest and now that she thought about it, she didn't need to be so nervous from the start. Mona's always been the listening type so there really was nothing to worry about when talking to her… although there was still something on her mind.

Rachel pulled away and awkwardly looked at the ground, twiddling her thumbs together. "So… what happens now?"

Mona laughed to her surprise and placed a hand on her leg. "Well I think there's only one thing to do and that's to break up with him."

"Are you serious?" she asked, her heart uplifted by this revelation but she had to make sure that it wasn't just her mind playing a trick on her.

Mona laughed again. "See? There's that spark! Of course I'm serious. I would never get in-between true love, especially between two of my friends."

"Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Rachel jumped up from the couch and joyfully pulled Mona into a large hug. "Thank you so much, you have no idea of how happy I am!"

"I think I have an idea…" she laughed as Rachel shook her around. Mona eventually managed to find her footing and laughed again at the new expression on Rachel's face; a mixture of happiness, relief, and love. "Just promise me one thing Rachel."

"Anything."

"Promise me that once you get him, you'll never let him go again. Ross is a special man and one-of-a-kind. Believe me when I say you'll never find anyone more perfect than he is."

Rachel sighed happily and nodded her head, her eyes filled with love for the man she will one day call _her_ man.

"I promise."

…

The door swung open and in walked a saddened Ross as Rachel muted her television show and turned to him. She could already guess what was bothering him.

"Hi..." Ross greeted in a sad tone, much like his famous depressing 'hi' he used to greet with.

"Hi," she responded in a soft voice. Seeing him so sad put a little sting in her heart as she knew that she was the one who caused this to happen. It was a strange feeling to be conflicted with feelings of relief and guilt.

She watched as Ross silently hung up his jacket and plopped down on the couch next to her. With a deep breath, he exhaled and his eyes lazily lingered on the TV screen. She turned to him and gently rubbed his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Obviously she had a pretty good idea of what was wrong but she couldn't reveal that she knew this.

Ross exhaled again before turning to her and looking her in the eyes.

"Mona and I broke up."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Yeah…" Ross looked at the ground as he gathered his thoughts. "It was just so… abrupt, you know? I thought we were doing so well but apparently she had another perspective..."

Her heart broke a bit as she watched him slump on the couch. Was it selfish for her to allow Mona to break up with him like that? It was Mona's idea after all… but at the same time, she was the one who revealed her true feelings for him which caused her to make that decision. Was she a bad person for doing this to him? Or even worse, was she a terrible best friend?

"Well, um… what'd she say?" Rachel asked curiously, wanting to know what Mona had said.

Ross shrugged. "I don't know… she said something about how things just weren't working out and how it'd probably be best if we were just friends."

"Did she say anything else?"

"Yeah actually she did. She told me that I'd find someone who I'm truly supposed to end up with and that this person might be closer than I might think. Do you know what she meant by that?"

She perked up at his response, knowing that Mona was talking about her. Grabbing his hands, she shyly looked into his chocolate eyes as if to try to show that it was her he was meant to be with.

"Well, I think what she was trying to say is that there's a perfect someone out there for everyone, and that your perfect someone might just be someone close to you already."

"I hope so…" he said, looking at the ground. She gave his hand a little squeeze as well as a small smile.

"I know so."

She finally managed to make him smile as well as their eyes locked and they looked deep into each other's souls. The connection was there, she felt it, and she even saw the little spark Mona had talked about, not only in his eyes but in the reflection of her own. This feeling of love was incredible and finally, after weeks of painful suffering and agony, it was free.

"Thank you Rachel," Ross said softly, pulling her into a hug. She closed her eyes and rested her chin on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of their bodies pressed against each other.

"At least I still have you."

She smiled and snuggled closer against him, whispering softly into his ear.

"You will _always_ have me."

And just like that, he was finally hers again.

…

 **Author's Note: I know, I know, short chapter… late update… These things will happen from time to time. I promise the next two chapters (including the finale) will make up for this shorter one.**

 **By the way, for those who are wondering why I decided to end the "Mona saga" like that, it's because I personally really liked Mona's character only the show. Aside from Rachel, she was probably my favourite love interest for Ross and she always struck me as the understanding and friendly girlfriend. I really hated how the writers made her seem like such a bitch in the end of the show so this ending kind of reflects how I saw her character's personality and how I envisioned their breakup. I also would have loved to see her more as a friend, even after her break up with Ross since she was close enough with Monica to be invited to her wedding.**

 **Anyways, thanks for your patience guys. Only a few chapters left and I can finally give this story a proper ending. Leave a review if you want and I'll see you next time.**

 ***Updated* I just read a pretty awful comment left on the last chapter, ironically shortly before I published this one. Normally I take criticism well but this one in particular really ticked me off. I just want to make it clear to everyone that Fanfiction is not my life, nor is it any form of commitment from my end. I have a separate life outside of this website and sometimes, that life gets busy. If I don't update "on time", it typically means that something else got in the way. Just be patient and the next chapter will come out soon. Comments like the one I saw is completely unnecessary. I enjoy receiving "update soon"s or something like that, but as soon as you begin to use insults, that's when a line is crossed.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The morning sun shone through the window, landing on the sleeping form snuggled up beneath the blankets. The room was dead quiet aside from her soft breathing as she slept soundly.

A moment later, the bedroom door creaked open as a figure silently entered and closed it behind him, careful not to wake her up. His eyes scanned the room before landing on her sleeping form. A smile appeared on his face as he saw her blanket rising and falling with every breath she took.

Ross quietly made his way over to her bedside and took a seat on the edge of her bed. Glancing over at her night stand, her clock read _11:00_ and he couldn't help but laugh under his breath. He would never understand how someone so small could sleep for so long.

His eyes moved over to her as she slept and his smile grew. How could anyone look so beautiful when they were asleep, not that she wasn't beautiful when she was awake. There was just something about her as she slept that took his breath away. She was just so… _angelic_ … so peaceful, so innocent. Whenever he saw her sleep, he felt like he was obligated to hold her and protect her. To care for her until she opened those amazing blue eyes to the world once again.

Truly a _sleeping beauty_.

Ross gently brushed away some strands of her hair that had fallen on her face and as delicate can be, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. He felt her stir from his contact and he smiled again.

"Rachel sweetie, it's time to wake up," he whispered, gently shaking her by the shoulder.

In response, she groaned, slapping away his hand and turned the other way. Ross looked at her and shook his head with a laugh. She was never a morning person, even if it was almost noon.

"Rachel," he tried again, nudging her with a little more force. "Rach wake up. You promised me you'd help me clean the apartment today."

Finally did it seem like his voice registered in her brain and she groaned again, lazily stretching out and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She rolled back onto her side facing him and slowly, she opened her eyes to meet his.

"Hi," she said in a soft, velvet voice.

"Hi to you too," Ross responded, giving her another kiss on the forehead.

What an amazing feeling it was to wake up and see his face as the first thing to start the day. She smiled lovingly towards him when she felt his lips on her head and already did she feel the warm sensation that shot through her body from his touch.

"What time is it?" she asked, sitting up a bit.

"11:00. You sure as hell can sleep on a weekend."

She laughed softly and raised her arms to stretch them out. "I actually wanted to sleep longer. Why'd you have to wake me up?"

"Because I missed you in the morning," he answered, playfully flicking her nose. She smiled. "But also because we got a whole day of cleaning ahead of us and there's no way I'm starting without you."

Rachel groaned and slipped back down under the covers. "You know what; I'm not feeling too well. Maybe I should sleep for a bit longer…"

"Haha, very funny." Ross pulled away the blanket leaving her exposed on the bed. She crossed her arms and pouted.

"Hey! I'm serious…" she whimpered.

"And I'm serious when I tell you Monica will kill us both if we don't get this place cleaned up today," he countered. "Get your lazy butt out of bed."

"I don't want to," she responded like a toddler and pulled the covers back onto herself.

"Alright then, I guess you don't want that omelet I made you…"

Rachel immediately sat up. "Omelet?"

He chuckled. "Yup, you're favourite; chicken and sautéed mushroom."

She was practically drooling at the thought of the omelet sizzling on a plate waiting for her in the kitchen. Not only was it her favourite but _he_ made it and whenever he made her omelets, he always added some special ingredient that made her mouth water just thinking about it.

"OK! I'm up!" she said, jumping out of bed.

"That's what I thought…" He laughed, standing up as well and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll brew up some coffee. Don't be too long."

"I won't, thank you," she said with a smile. Ross returned the smile and headed out the door, letting her go through her morning routine.

As soon as the door closed behind him she sighed and fell back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her smile never left her face as all she could think about was how lucky she was that he was hers again.

…

With a groan and a large huff of air, Rachel forced herself up from her crouched position on the ground. Careful not to touch anything she held her hands and the wet rag out in front of her, covered in oil, grease, and everything in between, with disgust. After what seemed like hours of scrubbing, the kitchen floor was finally cleaned of stains and grim. The white tiles for once looked white again and she swore to herself to never spill anything again.

"Finally, I'm all done," she announced and Ross stood up from behind the fridge, wiping his forehead with the front of his forearm.

"Yeah?" He looked around the ground, nodding his approval. "Looks great Rach. I'm all done here too."

"Good. I'm tired of scrubbing stains. I'm so glad I don't use this place much."

Ross laughed and walked over to her. "Well I do. You're telling me you've never cleaned a kitchen before?"

"Nope. Phoebe rarely cooked in hers, Joey _never_ cooked in his, and Monica cleaned hers twice a day."

"That's true," he laughed, making her smile. "Well now you know what it takes to take care of your own kitchen. Here, I'll take that rag."

Rachel stuck out her hand for him to take it but jerked away as soon as he grabbed onto it. Ross raised an eyebrow and he eyed her amusingly as he dropped the dirtied rags in the sink.

"What?"

"Don't touch me with those dirty hands," she said, backing away slightly.

"What? These?" Ross joked, looking at them.

"Yes! Now get away from me."

He laughed and took a step towards her. "Oh come on, it's not that bad. Getting dirty builds character."

"Shut up, no it doesn't," she countered through her own laughs as she swatted his hands away. With every step she backed away with, he took one step forward.

"A little grease isn't going to kill you Rach. Come here."

"No!"

She eventually backed into a corner and seeing him approaching her, she reached out and locked fingers with him as a desperate attempt to keep them away. They both laughed as they began some sort of wrestling match and she used all her effort in resisting his oncoming strength.

"No!" She yelled through her laughter as he pushed her hands back, his strength easily overpowering hers. Just when he pushed her hands all the way up to her head and it looked like she had lost, he caught her completely off guard by leaning in and playfully kissing her on the tip of her nose.

"Haha, gotcha!"

"That was so not funny!" she complained, nudging him on the leg with her shoe.

"It was for me. You should have seen your face. You were terrified!" He laughed and she sent him a glare.

"I hate you…" she said with a huff, pretending like she was mad.

"Aww, you're just saying that," Ross quipped and she couldn't help but laugh. He looked down at his hand as he started rubbing two fingers together. "You know, this stuff is pretty gross."

"See? I told you," she said and stuck out her tongue before walking to the sink to wash her hands. After a moment, she dried her hands and turned to face him. "So what next?"

"Well we've still got all of this stuff to put back," Ross said, motioning to the large amounts of cans and boxes on the table from when they were cleaning out the cupboards and drawers. "And let's see… we've done your room, we've done the living room, and now we've done the kitchen. All that's left is my room and the bathroom. Take your pick."

"Urgh… I don't want to get my hands dirty again. Let's do your room first," she suggested.

Ross smiled. "I knew you'd say that. Alright, you get started over there while I put all this stuff back."

"Ok." And with that, Rachel happily left the kitchen.

A moment later, she entered his bedroom, pushing the door open to a room she realised she hadn't been to in a while. A few dinosaur knick-knacks were placed on his drawer and she spotted his old air purifier stashed away in the corner of his room. She wondered when he stopped needing it as she continued to look around. Some documents here and there, some books stacked on his shelf. All in all, it _felt_ like his room and that's what she loved about it.

After checking out the details of his room, she finally decided to get started by clearing out the stuff in his drawers so they could clean that first. She began pulling out clothes and placing them on his bed in neat piles. She blushed a deep shade of crimson red when she pulled out one of his boxers and she couldn't help but think of what he looked like in a pair of them.

Eventually the drawers were cleared out and she moved onto his desk where there were two desk drawers on each side. She emptied out the first two with ease as they were only folders that she stacked onto his desk. The next one was filled with marked papers and assignments for his class. As she brought them up onto his desk, curiosity got the better of her and she flipped through the marks he gave his students. Seeing a large number of As and Bs, and virtually no Cs or lower given to anyone, she laughed at how lazy he was when it came to marking his students reports.

When she tried to open the last drawer, she found that it was locked and she raised an eyebrow in confusion. None of his other drawers were locked so why was this one? She was curious to know what he kept in this last drawer.

"Ross, where's the key to the desk drawer?" she yelled towards the kitchen.

"Desk drawer? Oh, check the top shelf on my book rack."

Rachel walked over to the book rack and just managed to reach the top shelf on her tippy-toes. Feeling around, she finally felt a single key in the corner and plucked it from the shelf, returning to the locked drawer. She inserted the key as it was a perfect match and she held her breath as to what secrets lied within.

But as soon as she opened the drawer, she froze.

She had expected personal documents and passports; things you would keep locked away for your own personal security. What she _didn't_ expect was a drawer barely filled as it contained a variety of items including multiple receipts and movie stubs.

To the average person, the drawer would have been a complete mystery to them. However it only took her a second to realise what it was; partially because the photos inside gave it away but also because she too owned something like this that meant a great deal to her.

What she had found was his "Rachel box", or more specifically, his "Rachel drawer".

The movie stubs and diner receipts were all from the dates they had gone on while they were dating. The photos showed memories that she had never forgotten of both of them together; hugging, kissing, smiling. She picked up one of the photos of them leaning over the counter at Central Perk staring into each other's eyes and she couldn't help but feel a pang of pain in her chest as she thought back to the better days. Life was so simple back then, so perfect. Where did they go wrong?

As she continued to sift through the drawer that held so many memories, she was extremely surprised to find a few folded up papers inside, one of them being the 18-page letter she had given him many years ago at that beach house when they tried getting back together. She quickly skimmed it over and reading it now, she couldn't believe she had ever asked him to take full responsibility for their breakup. Like he had said before, it took two people to break up a relationship and she felt guilty knowing that they couldn't have worked things out because she was too stubborn to take responsibility for her own actions.

The other papers were documents and as she looked them over, she realised they were the divorce papers they had gotten not too long ago. Not the best part of their history but it was something that was important for their relationship, whether they liked it or not.

Everything else looked pretty similar to her "Ross box"; some more movie tickets here, some small gifts she had given him over there. She even found a dead lily at the bottom of the drawer, long wilted from the lack of sunlight and oxygen. She gently picked it up and delicately touched the pedal of the dead flower. Like the flower, at some points in the past she had thought any chances of getting back with him were dead. Her "Ross box" was pretty much a way for her to keep her feelings alive; almost a hope that one day, things would work out. And now that she found his own "Rachel box", she knew that the possibility of them getting together had never truly died.

Rachel gently placed the dead lily back inside but as she did, her eyes suddenly caught sight of something else. Hidden away in the back of the drawer was a small red bag that discretely stood out from the rest of the items. Surprised she hadn't seen it earlier; she picked up the cute little bag and brought it closer to have a better look at what was inside.

There were only two items inside the little red bag; a small blue velvet box and an old, faded receipt. Rachel brought the velvet box up to her face to carefully inspect it as she felt the soft material of the outside. Earrings maybe, or some kind of jewelry?

She set the box aside for now and took a glance at the receipt, surprised to find it was for an order of three dozen lilies. Now she was really confused. What could Ross have needed three dozen lilies for? She looked back at the small velvet box and wondered if she'd get any answers from there as she slowly opened the lid.

"Oh my God…" She gasped, cupping her mouth with her other hand in shock.

In her hand was a breathtaking white gold engagement ring, fit with a two carat diamond on the top. It was the most beautiful engagement ring she had ever seen. The diamond glimmered in the sunlight from the window and she raised it up to watch it sparkle in the light. She had so many questions she wanted to ask, and even more question to back those questions but all of a sudden, it dawned on her.

The engagement ring was in _his_ drawer dedicated to _her_.

Her mind raced with thoughts of what this could mean but she already had an idea of what this was. She could feel it. She could feel it in her heart. Another glance at the beautiful engagement ring made her begin to tear up and she had to know. She just had to.

Rachel quickly grabbed the receipt and looked at it closely. In the bottom right, in the most faded of ink, she was able to make out a date that made her heart completely stop.

 _February 20, 1997_ – the day of their anniversary.

A tear slid down her cheek and dripped to the floor as she just stared at the receipt and engagement ring with tearful eyes. She had such a strong feeling about what this meant but she refused to believe it. She didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be true…

She had to talk to someone about this.

Quickly Rachel shut the velvet box shut and shoved it into the pocket of her pants. She wiped her eyes and closed the drawer before making her way out the door. She tried to pass by the kitchen as fast as she could but Ross caught sight of her.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked as she avoided eye contact. She wouldn't let him see her eyes, knowing he'd know that something was up.

"I-I just have to go talk to Monica really quickly. It's about… it's about some girl thing."

He raised an eyebrow but seemed to believe her lie. "Well alright. Come back soon."

"Ok" she said quickly and with that, she left out the front door, shutting it behind her.

…

A few minutes later the door to Monica's apartment burst open and Rachel walked in, spotting Monica in the kitchen preparing some popcorn while the rest of the gang sat in the living room watching TV.

"Monica!"

Monica turned around, seeing the distraught look on her face and sighed. "Not again…" she muttered under her breath while the others emit a silent groan from the living room, not even needing to turn around to know who it was.

"What happened this time?" Monica asked, hiding the annoyance in her voice as Rachel sat down at the table.

"I… I found something…" she stuttered and slowly she removed the velvet box from her pocket. "Here, l-look."

Intrigued, Monica walked over and picked up the box from the table. With Rachel's eyes watching her every move, she opened up the small box and as soon as she saw the ring, her eyes shot open and a gasp escaped her mouth.

"Oh… oh my God!" Monica exclaimed and Rachel sadly nodded her head.

"What?" After hearing all the commotion behind them, the others had paused their television show to join them in the kitchen.

"Look," Monica said, handing the small box to Phoebe and like her, Phoebe gasped after seeing the ring as well.

"Oh wow…it's so beautiful. This must have cost a fortune!"

"Lemme see," Joey ushered while Chandler looked over his shoulder. As soon as the ring came into view Joey let out a whistle of approval while Chandler narrowed his eyes to get a better view. "Damn, that's one hell of a ring."

Joey handed the ring back to Rachel who merely stared at it with weary eyes. Monica leaned over on her shoulder and raised her own ring to compare.

"And it's even bigger than mine!" Monica exclaimed, shooting Chandler a dirty look, although he was still engrossed in staring intently at the ring. "Rach, where did you say you got this from?"

"It… it's Ross'. I found it… I found it in one of his drawers that was… dedicated to me," she managed to say with much effort. The others looked at her as she stared aimlessly at the ring, not quite understanding this all but seeing how much this was affecting her for whatever reason.

Meanwhile, Chandler stood off to the side, staring intently at the ring from a distance. There was something about that glimmer of the diamond that just felt so… familiar…

"Rach, can I see that ring for a second?" he asked suddenly and Rachel slowly handed it to him.

That sense of familiarity grew as Chandler picked up the engagement ring from the box and raised it to eye-level. The colour of the ring, the size of the diamond, even the weight of the piece of jewelry… all these factors seemed to jog his mind and his brain felt like it was about to explode from the effort to remember. Then, it hit him.

"Holy shit…" he whispered to himself, at first widening his eyes in realization but then narrowing them into a frown. "Idiot! I told him not to keep it!"

"What?" Phoebe asked and Chandler jumped, not knowing that he had said that out loud.

"What? I-I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did. You screamed out 'idiot' and then something else," Joey pointed out and he pulled at the collar of his shirt.

"N-no I didn't. I said… I said... I'm an idiot for not buying such a beautiful ring!" Chandler glanced over at Rachel who was looking at him intently and he gulped.

Suddenly Monica began pointing at him accusingly. "You know something!"

"No I don't," he responded, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Yes you do! Spill!"

Chandler looked around, knowing he just put himself in a situation he was not going to get out of. The three sets of attentive eyes bore down on him and he nervously cleared his throat. "I… I can't. I promised Ross I'd take it with me to the grave."

"Well you're about to get there a lot sooner if you don't tell us what you know," Monica threatened by taking a step towards him and rolling up her sleeves.

He really began to sweat as he backed down from his fiancée's challenge. If there's anything he's learned over the years, it's that there's nothing scarier than an angry Monica. His heart was racing and his palms were sweating. As his eyes darted back and forth they eventually found Rachel's large begging eyes that made him completely stop.

"Please Chandler," she begged in a soft whisper, "please tell me."

That was all he could take before he snapped. With a long sigh, he ran a hand across his face and hoped to God Ross wouldn't kill him for doing this.

"Alright, I'll tell you but you have to know, Ross made me swear not to tell anyone about this. He didn't want to hurt you anymore than he already did."

Rachel didn't say anything, just staring at him to go on as were the others who were looking on with attentive eyes and ears.

With another sigh, Chandler continued. "Ok, I know what the ring is from. 5 years ago, while you two were dating, Ross had this plan… and he had come to me about a week before asking if he should go through with it. I thought it was a great idea at the time, I thought nothing could have gone wrong…" He paused. "The plan was to ask you to marry him on your anniversary."

Gasps were spread throughout the room and Rachel lifted a hand to cover her mouth, her eyes already showing the sadness she felt on the inside.

"Are you serious?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, he told me that it might have seemed a little rushed but that Rachel had always been the love of his life and that things just felt… right. I think he said something about bringing you to the planetarium, with music playing in the background and lilies scattered across the ground, and up in the stars there would be the words 'Will You Marry Me?'" Chandler looked at her with the sympathy written all across his face. They all knew what happened that night and how Ross had never gotten a chance to ask before he was given an answer. He reached out and took a hold of one of her hands, giving it a light squeeze. "I'm so sorry Rachel."

"I can't believe it… I just…" she sniffled and held back the tears threatening her eyes. "I can't believe I missed out on that… all because of some stupid brea!. We could have been married! We could have had kids and a family by now! We could have been… together…"

She buried her face in her hands but she refused to cry. She had done enough of that lately and even if this hurt like a bullet to her chest, there was nothing she could do about it. What's done has been done. It's all in the past and she just had to live with the fact that she ruined the best thing that may ever happen to her.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. Are you going to be alright?" She heard Monica ask her in a whisper while gently rubbing her shoulders.

Rachel raised her head and wiped the tears in her eyes away. "Yeah… yeah I'll be ok."

She looked at the sympathetic looks on each of her friends face and she let out a soft sigh. The amount of drama she's been putting her friends in lately has been ridiculous and she felt a tad guilty for making them worry so much.

Suddenly her eyes caught sight of the time and she saw that she had been gone for almost half an hour. Ross was no doubt still waiting for her back at their apartment, or worse, cleaning up all by himself.

"I've gotta go. I told Ross I'd only be gone for a few minutes," Rachel said, standing up quickly.

Her friends gave her a quick goodbye and she quickly left out the door, but not before grabbing the engagement ring once meant for her but would now sit in a drawer filled with memories of the past…

…right where it belonged.

…

Hours later, the four friends sat around the kitchen table, simply talking about the TV show they had just watched while eating some of Monica's freshly baked cookies. Suddenly a knock was heard followed by the sound of the front door opening as Ross walked in, whistling to himself.

"Hey guys," he greeted as he head towards the fridge.

"Hey Ross," they all chorused and watched as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"All done cleaning?" Monica asked and he chuckled.

"Yup, took up the entire day but we did it. Believe it or not but Rachel actually got her hands dirty."

The four friends shared a look as they all thought back to the little incident with Rachel a few hours earlier.

"Where is she now?"

"We were out of food for the week so she went out grocery shopping," Ross answered, popping open the beer bottle. "She stopped by here earlier right?"

"Uh… um… yeah, she just wanted to talk about something," Joey responded, shooting Chandler a nervous eye.

Ross nodded. "Ah ok, she told me she had come over for some girl talk." Suddenly he paused. "Wait hold on, you two were here too?"

Chandler sent a glare at Joey before clearing his own throat. "Um… yup! We were! That's us, we just love to…uh…gossip." Ross just raised a confused eyebrow.

"So Ross," Phoebe jumped in, saving them from anymore questioning. "How are you taking this whole Mona thing?"

"Surprisingly well actually," he said truthfully. "At first I didn't take it too well but Rachel cheered me up and I've been doing pretty good ever since."

The four friends nodded as he took a seat and continued. "I don't know, I guess I've always kind of known things weren't going to last. Mona was great and all but we just didn't have that… spark, you know? Kind of like the one that you two have," he motioned towards Chandler and Monica. "You know, one of the reasons why I started dating was so I could experience that connection myself and for a second, I thought maybe Mona might have been it. I guess some things just aren't meant to be."

A silence passed between the group as they all kind of got lost in their own thoughts. Ross' thoughts were filled with the imagination of how it would be like to find that passion with someone else but what he didn't know was in the minds of his four friends, they already knew who the missing piece of his puzzle was.

Ross took a sip of his beer and broke the silence, catching everyone off guard by his words.

"Tell me about that… that bond you two share."

Monica scratched her throat and looked at Chandler. "What exactly do you want to know?"

"I don't know. Kind of like what it feels like or how do you know when you have it?"

All of a sudden Chandler rose from the seat and pointed towards the clock. "Oh look at that! Look at the time! Joey we better go if we want to catch that movie!"

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this this time," Monica said, pulling her fiancée back down in his seat. He sighed and slumped in his seat as she cleared her throat and turned to her brother's awaiting eyes.

"Alright well, this feeling… it's kind of like warm sensation you have in your chest that you get when you're around that person. You just feel connected to them somehow, like you're two people but sharing one mind and one heart. It's the feeling of caring for someone so much that you never want to leave their side."

Chandler smiled lovingly at his fiancée and she smiled back. Gaining more confidence in his voice, he straightened his back and continued. "Yeah, it makes you want to protect and care for her for the rest of your life. She's like the missing half of your everything and all you've ever really wanted. She makes you smile whenever she's in the room and sometimes you wake up and can't believe that she's actually real. You want to spend every second of every day with her and she's always the first thing in your mind in the morning and the last thing in your mind at night."

Monica rubbed his leg showing him how much she appreciated his kind words and they both just kind of stared at each other with smiles on their faces. "You'll know when you have it because… well, you'll just know. You'll feel it in your heart and once you have it, you'll never want to let go of it."

"Wow, that sounds… amazing…" Ross said, amazed at how this feeling can change everything about a person.

"Aww! I want it!" Joey whined and Chandler patted his friend on the back.

"Well I think I might have it, with Mike!" Phoebe revealed and Monica squealed.

"Really? Oh that's so great!" And they both embraced in a hug. Then, as Monica pulled away she looked towards her brother who was deep in thought and a sudden idea came to mind.

"Hey Ross, do you have someone like that in your life?"

Ross looked down and thought for a moment. "Well somewhat, yes. I mean, I care a lot about all of you and same with Ben, but I don't think it's the same thing."

"Not exactly. It's kind of the same thing but it's different from what we're talking about. Of course we care for each other and we all have this bond with one another, but this bond you share with someone else is special and is so much more. Do you have a special someone in your life?" She continued to press on and her friends all saw what she was doing. They all looked at Ross, holding in their excitement as they waited for a response.

Ross fell deep in thought, going through everyone in his life that he held close to his heart. Like Monica said, his friends and his family were always the ones he cared about the most, and he knew his father-son connection he had with Ben was also one-of-a-kind as well. But as he thought long and hard about this 'someone special', there was only one face that could possibly fulfil those requirements and suddenly, his eyes finally his eyes were opened.

"I… I think there is…" he said almost in disbelief and the excitement in the room rose.

"Well who is it?" Joey questioned and they all leaned in.

Ross looked down at his hands then back up at his friends, feeling his heart beat begin to beat faster for some reason. Was this also part of that feeling?

"I think… I think it's… Rachel."

Cheers erupted in the room as his four friends jumped up and began to celebrate. They hugged each other and gave each other high fives before they all came over to him and hugged him as well. Ross simply sat there, a little confused as to why everyone was so hyper over what he said.

"Why are we celebrating?" he asked in an amused tone as his sister gave him a big hug.

"Because this is huge! This is… this is amazing!" she answered, giving him another tight squeeze. "You have no idea how long Rachel has been feeling the same way about you!"

"Really?" he asked in disbelief. Rachel had these feelings for him as well? For some reason this piece of information made his heart beat even faster, confusing him even more. What was going on?

"Yes! Oh, she's going to be so happy when she finds out! She's been waiting so long for this! I'm so happy for you guys!"

Ross just smiled as everyone came around him in a group hug. He thought about the idea of him and Rachel together and the more he thought about it, the more he began to like it. Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross. It had a nice ring to it.

But there was something more. He truly felt it in his chest; the warm sensation Monica was talking about, the fast pace of his heartbeat. There was something so familiar, yet unfamiliar about this feeling and he felt his brain working hard to figure out what this all meant. He felt the word on the tip of his tongue and then suddenly, everything just clicked.

"Love."

Everyone stopped and the whole room went silent. He felt all four sets of eyes looking at him in disbelief but he ignored it as he was in disbelief himself.

"Love," he repeated, this time with a little more confidence. "Yes… that's it…. Love…"

He looked up and saw how every one of his friends' faces were wide-eyed and mouth gaping open. The feeling in his heart gave him more confidence to say the words that were building up in his throat since the beginning.

"…I love Rachel…"

All of a sudden another round of cheers broke out but this time louder than the first one. His four friends literally went crazy with excitement, yelling and screaming all while crushing him with tight hugs. He laughed through it all, welcoming all the comments they were giving him all at once but truthfully, his mind was somewhere else. He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel and how much he truly cared about her. Her beauty, inside and out, her personality, her laugh, her smile, he loved everything about her. Now it all made sense. Now, things were finally clear.

Eventually things finally quieted down and his friends took their seats once again. Excitement still buzzed around them and all he could do was smile. But there was still one burning question he had to ask.

"So what now?"

They all exchanged glances with each other.

"Well you have to tell her, obviously!" Monica said.

"No wait, he shouldn't just tell her like that."

"I shouldn't?" Ross asked, a little confused.

"No you shouldn't!" Phoebe reiterated. "You should make it a surprise and tell her when the time is right."

Ross scratched his chin. "Umm… ok, but how do I know when the time is right?"

Suddenly Joey snapped his fingers. "You should take her on a date!"

"That's a great idea Joe!" Chandler commented and the two girls nodded in agreement.

"A date huh?" Ross thought about it and thought of the other times they had gone out for dinner or movies or any of that. Technically all of those could be counted as dates but they were only friends then. Now it was different. This had to be special. "I like that… a date…"

"Do you have an idea of where to take her?" Monica asked.

He thought about it once more and suddenly he remembered something that would be perfect. He saw the date unfold in his mind and he couldn't help but smile at the thought of telling her about his feelings.

"I think I have an idea…" And everyone smiled.

There was only one thing on his mind at the moment.

He was in love with Rachel.

…

 **Author's Note: Well, we did it! We finally made it to the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as I did making it and I'm sure you'll all** _ **love**_ **the last one. Also I just want to remind everyone that my next update will include both the last chapter as well as the Epilogue. I don't really see a point of holding out this story any longer just for an Epilogue so instead, I'll be spending a little more time to end this whole thing off with a bang.**

 **Also if you're wondering, no I'm not a Mondler fan so don't expect much of that from me. Don't get me wrong, I've never had a problem with them being together and in fact, I think they fit well together as a couple. I just don't see them as a couple that would experience as many bumps in the road as Ross and Rachel do, making them a little boring and too perfect. They're great for each other, just a little too great in my opinion to a point where there are huge limitations in what you can really do with them. I hope you Mondler fans aren't too upset about that but I can assure you I'll always have a little C &M in the background. **

**Thanks again guys and be sure to leave a review. I can use as much support as I can for this last stretch. Hope you guys liked it and I'll see you all next time.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Today was the day.

After an entire week of planning, organising, preparing, and checking; the day had finally come. Everything was put in motion, everything was ready. Now all he needed was the girl.

Ross strolled into the Ralph Lauren building with the largest smile on his face and the biggest confidence a man could possibly have. His stomach was filled with butterflies, as it has been throughout the week, and as he walked into the elevator, he couldn't help but whistle to himself.

To be in love, it was an amazing feeling. It was like he had finally found what he'd been looking for, and as it turns out, it's been right under his nose this entire time. The week was a tedious one to say the least. So many times had he wanted to come forward and tell her the truth but he'd force himself to keep quiet until the moment was right. Now, that moment was today and he couldn't be more relieved.

"Good afternoon Sophie," he greeted Rachel's secretary, who just so happened to be her partner back when she worked at Bloomingdales.

"Hi Ross, didn't expect to see you today." Sophie eyed the bouquet of lilies in his hand and a knowing grin appeared on her face. "Here to surprise the girl, hmm?"

Ross laughed. "Sure am. Is she busy?"

"I think she's in a call right now but you should be fine to just walk in." She looked at the bouquet again. "Mhmm, flowers… how romantic…"

He just shook his head. Sophie's always been rooting for them to get together from the start but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction in knowing his plan. Like Rachel, she was a huge gossip and no doubt would somehow manage to tell her even before he walked into her office.

"It's nothing like that, it's just a friendly visit," he said, holding back a smile.

Sophie raised an eyebrow. "Then how do you explain the flowers?"

"What? A guy can't bring a friend some flowers to her work?" The look on her face told him he didn't answer her question. "We're just friends Sophie."

"Mmmhm, just keep telling yourself that."

 _Nope only you_ , he thought to himself and chuckled.

"I'll see you later Sophie," he said as he started to walk away.

"Try not to make too big of a mess! If you guys fool around, I'll have to clean up afterwards!"

Ross just shook his head and laughed before making his way down the corridor.

…

"… Yes sir… No those shipments are set to arrive in a week and they aren't getting here any sooner… Why do you even care so much about our shipment on lingerie anyways?..."

Rachel's eyes darted to the clock on her wall and she sighed at how long she's been on the phone. Work could not be any worse than having to sit through a man complaining on the other end for an hour and at that moment, she was hoping for _anything_ to get her out of this call.

Her wish came true when a knock sounded from her door and she sighed in relief.

"Come in!"

The handle turned and in walked Ross holding a beautiful bouquet of lilies. She immediately smiled at the man of her dreams and motioned for him to give her a second.

"… Yes, hello? Derek is it? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call you back. I've just been called to an important meeting…" She eyed him and he laughed. "…No sir, if you have any more questions on our women's underwear I'll be happy to direct you to our production management. Have a good day."

With that, she slammed the phone down and slumped down in her chair, breathing out in relief as she shut her eyes. A second later she opened one eye and sure enough he was still standing there looking at her with an amused look.

"Sounds like you had a _pleasant_ call."

"Oh, the _best_ ," she said sarcastically, standing and walking over. She stopped in front of him and stared into his gorgeous eyes, making her heart beat go wild.

"Hey," Ross said, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

She smiled. "Hey. What brings you here on your lunch break?"

"Well I came to give you these," he answered, handing her the bouquet of flowers. Rachel smiled and lifted them gently to her face, inhaling the fresh scent of the lilies.

"Thank you, they're beautiful." She kissed him on the cheek and walked over to window sill where she placed the flowers in an empty vase. She took a moment to admire the flowers before turning around and looking at him with a curious look. "Was that all you came here for? To give me some flowers?"

"Well I thought a visit from me would lighten the mood around here. The flowers are just a bonus."

"Hmm, I think I like the bonus better than the actual gift…" Rachel joked, pretending to be more interested in the flowers than him. He laughed and she turned around, looking him in the eyes. "Thank you… again. You're sweet."

"That's me, just a giant walking, talking gummy bear." This time it was her turn to laugh which made his smile grow more. Her laughter was such a wonderful sound to hear. Like an enchanted melody, he could listen to it over and over and would never get tired of it.

"Actually I did come by for something else," Ross said, getting her attention. "I just wanted to know if you want to go out for dinner tonight."

"Sounds good to me. Where are we going?"

"Oh, well that's going to be a surprise," he said, playfully flicking her nose. "Just make sure you wear something nice and I'll take care of the rest."

"Something nice huh?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?"

"How about… to celebrate our friendship?"

"Are you serious?" She looked at him as if he was joking, but when he didn't say anything else a small smile crept onto her face. "I think that's a perfect thing to celebrate."

"Great so I'll see you tonight."

"Pick me up at 7?"

Ross laughed. "7 it is."

They both smiled at each other, lost in that moment between time and space until he spotted the time on the clock in the corner of his eye.

"Crap, I've got to go. I have a class in 15 minutes," he panicked while she just giggled. "Bye Rach, I'll see you soon."

"Bye," she waved as he quickly left her office.

As the door closed behind him she walked back to her desk and sunk down in her chair. Her day had just gotten 10 times better and now she had something she was really looking forward to after work. What a sweet gesture for him to come down and invite her personally to dinner. One of the many things she loved about him.

Now that she thought about it, he's been awfully cheerful this past week. He's been more attentive and caring, even more than his usual self. They've also been getting closer to each other, so much so that she was now accustom to the amount of kisses and hugs he gave her on a daily basis, not that she was complaining at all. She just sometimes wished that it could be something more.

Rachel shook her head and quickly changed thoughts. It wasn't the time to think about that. She had more important things to think about, like what she was going to wear tonight, or what he's going to be wearing tonight, or where he's taking her, or how handsome he's going to look…

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of her phone ringing. One look at the caller ID and her smile disappeared from her face. She grunted in annoyance before grabbing the receiver and pulling it up to her ear.

"God damn it Derek!"

…

Hours later Ross walked around the cab and opened the door, giving Rachel a hand as she stepped out; not just to be a gentleman but also because she had a blindfold on which made it a little difficult for her to see anything.

"Ross, where are we?" she asked impatiently. She hated the feeling of being restricted of her vision.

"Shh, it's a surprise, remember?"

"Well can I at least take off the blindfold?" she whined.

Ross chuckled as he paid the driver. "No, not yet. Just be a little patient and trust me."

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms but sure enough, she remained quiet. Ross looked over at her and couldn't help but stare. Her black spaghetti dress hugged her small frame in all the right places, showing off her hourglass figure and her attractive legs. The thin layer of lipstick made her lips stand out and look so appealing, he was having trouble stopping himself from leaning over and kissing her then and there. And with the blindfold still securely wrapped around her eyes, she looked so innocent standing there.

Beautiful was an understatement. _Stunning_ might be a possible word to use but truthfully, words could not express her beauty. She was an absolute angel that lit up everywhere she went. Already did he see some people looking at her but he didn't really care.

It was their night.

It was _the_ night.

Ross walked over to her and gently took her hand in his, guiding her over to the sidewalk as the cab drove off.

"Stay close and be careful of where you step, ok?"

"Ok," she answered, leaning over and holding onto his arm. He smiled and kissed her hair before he started leading them down the street.

"Are we there yet?" Rachel asked as they walked passed the third block.

"Not yet…" he answered, unsuccessfully holding back a smile.

"You better not be laughing at me Geller," she warned.

"I'm not! I swear!" He stifled a laugh. "Ok, maybe just a bit but it's only because you look too cute with that blindfold on."

"Shut up," Rachel said with a smile, smacking his arm.

"We're almost there. Trust me, it'll be worth it."

A minute later they turned a corner and all of a sudden, they were both hit with an incredible smell at the same time. Ross stopped and looked ahead with a smile while Rachel frowned next to him.

"Ross, can I please take this thing off now?" she practically begged.

"Yes, you can take it off now," he laughed. "Here, let me help you."

Gently he undid the knot at the back and slowly, he removed the blindfold from her head. As soon as she felt it was gone, Rachel's eyes shot open and when she saw the restaurant in front of them, she gasped.

"Oh my God! Is this where we're eating?"

Ross laughed again. "It sure is. I told you the surprise was worth it."

A few meters ahead of them stood Amélie, the famous French restaurant completely packed inside and out. Waiters and waitresses were seen running from one table to another and right outside the front door stood a line of people as far as the eye could see. Ross just stood there with the biggest smile on his face while Rachel still couldn't believe her eyes that he had taken her here.

"Ross, are-are you serious? We're eating here?"

"Of course silly. Now are we just going to stand here or are we going to go in and eat?" He gave her a little nudge forward but she didn't continue forward.

"Wh-what? How did you… I have so many questions. How did you even get us a table? Even reservation waits take months!"

Ross shrugged. "Well I remember you telling me this was your favourite restaurant and when I told Mike, it turns out his parents are friends with the owner. All he had to do was pull a few strings and got us a spot for tonight."

"Oh my God, remind me to thank Mike a million times when we get back."

"Sure, now are we ready to continue with our night?"

"Wait Ross, everything in there costs a fortune, and I mean literally a fortune. Remember how I told you daddy only took me here on occasions? That's because the food is crazy expensive, even for him!" She looked down at the ground then back up at him. "Listen, this was such a sweet thing of you to do but we don't have to eat here. We can go find somewhere else to eat for tonight."

"Rach, stop being so worried," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist from keeping her from walking off. "I've been saving up for a while now so its fine. Let's just enjoy ourselves tonight and leave the payments to me."

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You deserve this sweetie." He gave her a little kiss on the forehead and finally she managed to give a genuine smile.

All of a sudden she threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around her torso.

"Thank you," she whispered, smiling into his chest. "You're amazing."

Ross smiled and kissed her hair. "No you are."

Rachel looked up and their eyes locked; their faces so close to each other that they could feel the other person's breathing. They both felt that warm feeling in their chests and the connection between them was so apparent, but it was Ross who broke their eye-contact and turned them back towards the restaurant.

"Alright, now let's go in. I'm starved."

She giggled, shaking off the little moment they just had. "Me too. Let's go."

Ross took her hand and led them to the restaurant. When they reached the front door they were greeted by the host who looked them over, seemingly spending some extra time looking at Rachel, before diverting his attention towards Ross.

"Good evening Monsieur. Do you have a reservation for tonight?"

"I believe so. It should be under Geller."

The host flipped through his reservation book. "Ah yes, welcome Mr. Geller. Allow me to escort you to your table."

They followed the host inside, admiring the atmosphere around them as they walked through the dimly-lit restaurant. The smell they had smelt outside was 2 times stronger inside and already were their mouths watering from the aroma alone.

The host led them to a corner near the back of the restaurant where a table was already set-up for them. Two candles provided a soft romantic hue and as they were seated, Rachel immediately took notice to the lilies in the center of the table. She shot Ross a smile in which he returned with just as much appreciation.

"Here are your menus Monsieur, Madame," the man said, handing them two menus. "A waiter will be with you shortly. I hope you have an excellent night."

As the host returned to his stand outside, Ross took a peak at the menu before setting it down and noticing Rachel staring at him from across the table. He raised an eyebrow in amusement and smiled.

"What?"

"You know this is the first time I've been here with someone other than my dad," she revealed.

"Really? And how is it so far?"

"I think this time is my favourite time coming here."

Ross smiled. "We haven't even ordered yet."

"I know," she smiled back and their eyes locked once again. "Thank you Ross, I really mean it. You're the sweetest, most amazing man I've ever known. And you're my best friend. Thank you."

Ross reached across and took her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. "You know I'd do anything for you Rach. All of this is for you so don't think too much about it ok? Let's just enjoy ourselves like only Ross and Rachel can."

She laughed softly. "I like the sound of that."

A waiter approached their table and cleared his throat, getting their attention and giving them a small smile.

"Bonjour Monsieur, Madame. Welcome to Amélie. My name is François and I will be your waiter for tonight. May I start you off with some of our vintage '91 Rostaing?"

"That would be great. Thank you," Ross said as the waiter poured the delicate wine into the glasses.

"Are you ready to order Monsieur?"

"Not quite yet François. Could we have some time to decide?"

"But of course Monsieur. I will come back in a few minutes. Please, take your time."

They watched as François left to greet another table and they both managed to look back at the same time, locking glances once again. They both smiled at the coincidence and Ross raised his glass of wine.

"A toast, to us."

"To us," Rachel repeated, gently clanging her glass against his and taking a sip of the French wine.

Ross looked at her for a moment, watching in complete awe at how beautiful she was. When she turned back and caught him staring he quickly snapped out of his trance and raised his own glass for a sip, unable to hide his smile from behind his glass.

"To us…"

…

After an incredible dinner fit with exclusive French cuisine and delicate wine, Ross and Rachel found themselves back outside walking along the sidewalk, the Sun now tucked behind the horizon and the bright stars glimmering in the dark skyline. Ross looked up to see the moon shining beautifully among the night sky and couldn't help but smile. All that weather research paid off as the night as was as clear as can be.

"Thank you for such a wonderful dinner," Rachel said, making him turn his attention to her. He smiled.

"Anytime."

She stopped in her tracks and so did he. She stared into his eyes and held the glance, almost as if she was to say something that words could express.

"I'm serious Ross. Tonight… it was just so… amazing... I don't even know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything," he smiled, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Ok… well at least let me pay you back for the dinner."

"Woah, no, absolutely not," he said, keeping the receipt that was in his jacket away from her. "Stop thinking about that Rach, I told you, tonight was my treat."

She pouted. "Ross…"

"Rachel, now _I'm_ being serious. I'm not letting you anywhere near this receipt and that's final." Slowly her pout disappeared being replaced by a small smile. He knew she'd continue to persist in paying him back later but tonight he refused to let that happen. Tonight was supposed to be on him and he wouldn't let her pay a dime for what he'd planned.

"Alright, now that that's settled, come on," he started, gently pulling her arm forward.

"What? Aren't we going home? We just missed a taxi," she questioned, waiving unsuccessfully at a cab that just passed them by.

"Nope, I have another surprise for you and we don't need a taxi for where we're going."

"Another surprise?" Rachel perked. The first surprise was already an incredible one but now there's another one? She was really being spoiled tonight. "Ross what's going on? Why are you being so generous today?"

"What I can't take my favourite girl out to a fancy dinner?" A small blushed appeared on her face and he noticed. "Now come on. Do you want this second surprise or not?"

"Ok…" she finally complied, "but only if I don't have to wear the blindfold again."

"Deal," Ross laughed, taking her hand as he led them forward. In the corner of his eye he saw her look down at their interlocked hands and then shyly looking away quickly, making him smile. She could be so cute sometimes.

Hand in hand, they continued their walk down the darkened streets of New York with their only light source illuminating in the night sky. Where they were going? Only Ross knew, and Rachel was eager to find out what else he had planned for her that was so important.

…

15 minutes later they both came to a pause at a stop light, waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green before they could cross the street safely. Though it was night time and there was no one around, you can never be too careful in the city.

In that time, Rachel looked around her surroundings only to find that she recognized none of them. She had been so focused on their walk that she hadn't noticed the sounds of the city fade behind them and at that moment, she had no idea where they were or what part of the city he had led them to.

"Ross where are we?" she asked with a hint of fear in her voice. She squeezed his hand and moved closer to his arm.

"We're just on the outskirts of the city. Your surprise is just up ahead." He noticed her paranoid look and gave a reassuring smile. "Relax Rach, you're safe with me."

She sighed and forced a weak smile just as the pedestrian sign went green. They crossed hand-in-hand and continued forward.

"Are we almost there yet?" Rachel asked minutes later. She had been walking in heels the entire time and it was beginning to hurt. "My feet are killing me."

'Almost," he reassured, pointing towards a large rise in the landscape. "It's just on top of that hill,"

"Hill top?" she questioned.

"You'll see."

And see she did, as after what felt like an hour long trek up the grassy hillside, she was greeted to one of the most magnificent views of her lifetime.

From the hilltop was a complete open view of the night skyline. The moon shone brightly up above the elegant clouds and the stars twinkled as if they were all little flashlights shining in the sky. In the distant, a small town could be seen beneath nature's light show, though even the city lights couldn't even compete with the allure of the stars.

"Wow…" she said, staring in awe and amazement. Behind her Ross came over and gently placed his hands on her waist, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Surprise," he said in a soft voice and she could practically feel his smile near her ear, sending chills down her spine.

Before she could say anything Ross took her hand and led her forwards where a single large tree had been planted at the hilltop's peak. There, she noticed a small picnic basket resting at the bottom and watched as Ross let go of her hand to retrieve the basket. From the basket he pulled out a large blanket which he flattened out on the grass as well as a small stereo.

"Sit," he pointed at the blanket and she did was she was told, now not only amazed at the breathtaking view but also amazed at how he had prepared all of this for her. With a twinkle in her eyes as bright as that of the stars, she watched him turn on the stereo to some soft background music before finding a spot next to her on the blanket.

"Ross this… all this… I…"

"Shh," he hushed her, motioning forwards with a smile. "Just watch."

She smiled back before turning away from the man she loved with all her heart to look at this magnificent view he had brought her to. With the soft music playing in the background and the vastness of the night before them, she found herself indulged in the elegancy of the stars once again. There was something about the night sky that touched her heart and sent a wave of calmness through her body. Never had she ever thought she'd find such a view in New York, but somehow he did, and he did it for her.

"It's so beautiful…" she finally managed to say a few minutes later, still staring at the night sky.

"I know."

Rachel turned to look at him but was surprised to find him staring at her with those large brown eyes of his. She blushed under his gaze and gently slapped his arm.

"Stop it, you're too sweet," she smiled.

"I'm serious Rachel, have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"

"It's come up a few times…" she giggled, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you Ross… for all of this…"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Come here," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her up towards him so that she could lean against him as he leaned against the large tree trunk, watching the night sky together.

Rachel sighed happily and closed her eyes, snuggling her back up against his side. This… with his arm wrapped protectively around her, her body right against his, and the night sky shining above them… this was where she wanted to be. This was where she always wanted to be. It was heartwarming, it was romantic, it was just… perfect…

…Too perfect…

Her eyes shot open and she peered up at him as he stared out into the night sky. Did he set all of this up for _them_ or for _her_? Tonight was supposedly a night to celebrate 'them' but as the night had progressed she had begun to feel as if everything was directed towards her. As if it was _her_ night instead of _their_ night.

And now that she thought about it, this wasn't like any of their other nights out. There had been so much more touching, and more kissing, and more compliments than normal, not to mention the amount of stares and looks they had given each other throughout the night. Then there was the fact that he had visited her on his lunch just to give her flowers, then the expensive surprise dinner to her favourite restaurant, and now this.

And then… there was the sense of familiarity. The dinner plans, the view under the stars, the soft blanket and the gentle music... it was all a reminder of that night in the planetarium, their 'first date', only this time everything did go as planned.

There was something going on, and she had to know.

"Ross…" she started, her voice wavering a bit as she got his attention. "Is this… is this a date?"

Ross smiled, obviously not picking up the worried tone in her voice. He reached out and took both her hands in his, looking into her eyes.

"Yes, yes this is a date."

"Oh my God," she gasped, covering her mouth.

She couldn't believe it. All this time, she had been on a date… with him. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to recover his memories before falling for her, not the other way around.

 _What did this mean? Does this mean he'll never remember those memories again? But the only way that could happen is if… no… he couldn't have…_

"Wh-why did you… when did you…"

"…Decide to take you out on a date?" he finished for her. "I realized, Rachel, that the reason I got over Mona so quickly is because she just wasn't the person I was looking for. And after talking to the guys, they made me realize that _you_ are that person. You've been with me right from the start and you're the sweetest, most amazing and beautiful woman I've ever known. I can't imagine my life without you. And what I realized… I realized Rachel… that I…"

"No… no don't say it…" she whispered, shaking her head as her eyes began to water.

"…I love you."

That was it. He had said it.

He loved her.

It was over.

Love was the last thing he needed to remember and was the last chance for him to remember his memories… and now, it was over. Everything she's done to try to help him remember, all the pain in the suffering she had went through just so that something like this wouldn't happen… and now it did. He loved her. He would never remember those memories again.

This wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want him to fall in love with her; she wanted _him_ to fall in love with her. The old Ross. _Her_ Ross. The one she's missed right from the start. Only now did she realize that even though she wanted him to be with her, what she really wanted was _her_ Ross to be with her.

And now, knowing that she would never see that Ross again, all she could do was cry, right in his arms.

"Rach, Rachel what's wrong?" he worried, completely taken aback when she had started to break down right in front of him. "Don't cry, please don't cry. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Through her sobs she managed to shake her head. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest as she let it all out. All her dreams, all her hope… gone.

"You're… you're not him!" she cried, sobbing harder into his shirt.

"What? Who am I not?"

"You're not _him_!" she repeated, vigorously shaking her head as she hugged him tighter.

"Rachel I… I don't understand. Do you not love me?"

"No I do! I love you! I love you so much!" she yelled, looking up and revealing her teared up eyes. "I love you… but not you, the _old_ you. The one who knows me better than anyone, even better than myself. The one who I share this huge history with that may sound ridiculous to someone else but is perfect for us. The one who loves me so much that he sacrificed himself just to keep me safe. I love you so much but you're… you're just not him!" And now him; that person of the past, _her_ Ross, will be gone forever.

Ross was at a loss of words. What was there really to say? That things would be better? Even he didn't know that it would be. As much as he wanted to remember and as much as he tried, he just couldn't recall those memories of the past of the person he was in the past. He felt like he had let her down somehow and that he had failed his duty to protect her. He was the one causing her to cry because he wasn't the person she wanted him to be.

"Rachel… I…"

"Please, just hold me," she cried, burying her face into his chest.

And so he did just that. With her tightly hugging his torso and her soft cries muffled by the fabric of his shirt, he gently wrapped an arm around her and caressed her hair.

No words were spoken. No movement was made. Only the feeling of loss and despair circled the air around them as he hugged her tightly against him.

For her, the feeling of a broken heart was a pain she'd never felt before and would never forget. This time was different than all the other ones; he hadn't cheated on her this time, he wasn't with someone else this time, no, this time she had truly lost him for good. Everything she's done up until this point was done in vain. He was gone. Her Ross was gone.

 _You don't know what you have until it's gone_.

Slowly she rubbed her tears off with his shirt and peered up at his eyes, hoping to find even the smallest of glimpse of his old self. Those large brown eyes of his, so familiar and yet so different, looked down at her with so much care that her heart was completely delivered into his hands.

Her Ross was gone, but this one was still here.

She knew she'd have to let go of the past in order to move on. She just needed one final goodbye.

Rachel leaned up and gently wrapped her hands around his neck, looking into his eyes for anything, any sign of her old Ross in there. She wanted him to hear this, and she wanted him to feel this. It was her final goodbye and she hoped with all her heart that somehow someway, he'd know that her heart would forever be his and only his.

"I love you," she whispered softly and with that, she gently pressed her lips onto his.

She put everything into that kiss. Her heart, her soul, her mind; everything. All the passion she's ever felt for that man she poured into the kiss. The moment their lips touched she had felt a spark pass from her into him and from that moment on, everything around her just faded away. Her fears, her worries, her sorrow, all of it disappeared just like that. The kiss was everything she's dreamed of, yet it was also the beginning of her living nightmare.

She didn't want to stop. She never wanted to stop.

But eventually the moment came when they both needed to breath and against all her will not to stop the kiss, she eventually broke away and with that, her final hopes of ever having her old Ross back.

Resting her forehead against his, she kept her eyes shut as tears continued to flow down her cheek. Their heavy breaths mixed together in between and she could feel his eyes staring at her, but she refused to open hers. Once she did, she'd return into the reality where she had lost the one thing she'd ever wanted.

"Rachel."

She thought back to the past; their past, the one that would forever be lost. Their first kiss at Central Perk. Their first time at the planetarium. Their first 'I love you's and their hopes for the future together. Their break up and the pain she had felt when he walked out that door after she suggested the break. The bigger pain when she found out he had cheated on her and the feeling of being hurt by someone she trusted with all her heart.

"Rachel."

Their second break up, filled with more miscommunication and the stubbornness to admit each other's mistakes. The moment she found out he was engaged to Emily and the first time she experienced the feeling of loss. The time she flew to London to stop his wedding, only to hide her feelings for him so he could be happy. The day she told him that she still loved him even though he was married and the feeling of relief when his divorce was made official.

"Rachel."

Their marriage, or their drunken marriage. The morning she woke up to find him in bed with her and the discovery of being unknowingly married to the man she'd always dreamed of marrying. The period when he lied to her about the annulment and the anger she had towards him when she found out. The divorce, and the heartfelt pain they both shared in signing those papers that would separate them completely.

"Rachel."

And finally the car crash. The final chapter of their history where he proved that after everything they've been through, he loved her so much he'd give himself to keep her safe. The feeling of waking up after the accident and rushing to his emergency room, only to find him in a coma and covered in injuries. That was the moment she knew she'd love him forever.

And now, all of it was in the past. All of it was to be forgotten. If she were to be the only one with remembrance to those past memories then she'd prefer to forget them all than to be the last one of the two of them to remember those memories.

She had to let go, but this time both her heart and her mind told her not to.

"Rachel."

"What?" she cried, finally opening her eyes to find his less than an inch away staring directly at her. But there was something different this time. There was almost a sparkle in his eyes that wasn't there before.

And then suddenly, she was pulled into another kiss, only this time it felt different. This time it wasn't a desperation kiss but almost out of longing. She felt him sucking on her bottom lip as the kiss was deepened and before she knew it, both their lips were moving on their own in a synchronized movement. She didn't know what was happening or why this kiss felt different, only that she enjoyed it and had to stop herself from moaning into the kiss.

Then when he broke the kiss she was the first one to open her eyes. Breathing heavily to catch her breath, she looked into his eyes for any explanation for what just happened.

"Rachel, I love you."

Her eyes widened in shock. The way he said it was so genuine and so… familiar. She felt a chill run down her spine from his words and the feeling of butterflies in her stomach returned. She didn't even need to convince herself otherwise because she recognized that 'I love you' anywhere. She couldn't believe it…

"Rachel it's me," he said, a hint of excitement in his voice. "I remember! I remember everything! Our past… our history… _you_ … I remember it all! Rachel I love you."

Tearfully a large smile appeared on her face. "Is… is that really you Ross?"

"It is. Rachel, it's really me," Ross smiled, a few tears swelling up in his eyes too.

This time the tears that fell from her eyes weren't tears of sorrow but tears of joy. She lunged forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. It was true. It was really him. How it was him, she didn't know and really didn't care.

Finally, she had her Ross back.

"I missed you so much. I can't believe it's really you," she cried softly, unable to contain her joy.

Gently Ross pulled her back and with the pad on his thumb, he wiped away the tears on her cheek. With tears in his eyes he locked eyes with her, sharing a loving smile as he softly caressed her cheek.

"I love you," he whispered.

She smiled tearfully, sniffling back a sob. "I love you too. I love you so, so much."

They met in another ardent kiss, not as long as the previous one but long enough for them to pass their feelings for each other through the contact of their lips. When they broke apart their eyes met once again, never wanting to see anything but each other's eyes and souls.

"Rachel, I may have forgotten about our past and I may have forgotten about you, but I have _never_ and will _never_ forget our love. Because no matter what, my heart will always point to yours. Always."

"Oh Ross…"

He leaned forward and gently rested his forehead against hers, staring into her beautiful blue pearls as she stared into his large chocolate eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you."

And on top of that hill under the starry night sky, their love was forever confessed, forever remember and never forgotten.

 _Never_ a forgetful love.

…

 **Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait guys but there you have it! Now onto the Epilogue!**


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 _Three years later…_

"Mommy, Mommy, I'm hungwy!"

"Emma sweetie, Mommy already told you that you're going to eat over at Cousin Jack and Erica's."

The sound of the doorbell echoed through the apartment and Rachel quickly turned off the stove and hung up her apron.

"That must be your Uncle Chandler," she said, heading out the kitchen towards the front door. The little blond-haired brown-eyes girl excitedly jumped out of her seat and followed her mother out, excited to see their visitor.

"Unca Chanwer! Unca Chanwer!" Emma yelled when she saw him enter the apartment. She immediately ran past her mom into Chandler's awaiting arms and giggled happily when she was hoisted into the air.

"How's my little Emma Wemma? Are you ready for a fun day with Cousin Jack and Erica?" he asked.

"Ya!" the little girl exclaimed and Chandler laughed.

"Hey Chandler," Rachel greeted, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for doing this."

"Oh it's no problem Rach. It's been weeks since we last had Emma over and Monica's been dying to see her," he answered, playfully bouncing her in his arms and making her laugh.

"Well then tell Monica I say thanks too. Oh, and make sure she doesn't forget about our girl's night next week with Phoebe."

"Will do miss," Chandler joked, making her laugh. She turned her attention to Emma who was still giggling her head off from her uncle's bounces.

"Now you be good for Mommy, ok?"

"Ok Mommy," the little girl replied, earning a kiss on the head.

"We'll be over at 10 tomorrow to pick her up," Rachel said to Chandler who nodded. She smiled before returning to the kitchen.

Chandler looked down at the playful little two year-old, now playing around with his shirt collar. Born out of wedlock, most people thought that Emma was going to be raised in the wrong way but those who knew her parents' story knew that she'd have no problem growing up. If anything, Emma had a perfect family with a loving father always willing to put his daughter before anything and a devoted mother who cared about absolutely everything and anything about her child. Plus, two years ago, when the group had found out about Rachel's pregnancy, not once did they question the couple's decision not to get married over the child. After all, they were Ross and Rachel; they always did things differently than everyone else and it worked for them.

Chandler looked back up just in time to see Rachel exit the kitchen and bump into Ross who had just left the bedrooms. The two of them stumbled back a bit before realizing who they bumped into and smiling at each other.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," Rachel apologized.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, looking at her for a moment. "Hi, I'm Ross Gellar, the new roommate. I moved in last night."

Rachel stifled a laugh as she accepted his hand. "Rachel Green, nice to meet you Ross."

"Nice to meet you too Rachel." The pair couldn't help but smile at each other through their little charade. "So what's for breakfast?"

"Well I've got some coffee brewing and some burnt toast on the table," she answered, giving him a knowing look. His smile grew.

"Hmm… not too appealing. How about we go out and grab some breakfast?"

"I think that sounds great," she responded. Their eyes met and neither of them could look away until she noticed something that made her giggle. "I think your shirt might be on backwards Ross."

"Is it?" Ross asked, pretending like he was completely clueless as he looked down at the tag hanging out from the front.

"And inside out," she added.

Ross laughed. "Well I better fix that, shouldn't I?" He reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his nicely toned chest and abs. When he slipped his shirt back on he noticed her shyly look away to hide her blush but it was evident she had been staring. When she looked back he smiled mockingly at her in which she playfully slapped his arm.

Meanwhile Chandler watched form the living room, a small smile on his face at the couple's antics. Emma, on the other hand, didn't understand why her parents were acting so strangely and she didn't hesitate in pointing that out.

"Unca Chanwer, why Mommy and Daddy be so weire?"

Chandler laughed. Even at such a young age Emma was extremely attentive and her vocabulary was more extensive than most other two year-olds, obviously picking that up from Ross' side. Meanwhile most of her looks, aside from her eyes and nose, came from her mother's side, although Rachel's expressed countless times how grateful she is that Emma got her those features from her father.

"Well you see Emma, today is a special day for your Mommy and Daddy. Today is their anniversary," he explained. "Three years ago on this day, your Mommy and Daddy realized how much they loved each other and finally got together for good."

"Forever?"

"Yup, forever and ever. Well, at least until they take another break."

"Hey I heard that," Ross said, coming over and taking Emma out of Chandler's hands. He lifted the little girl up in the air before kissing her on the forehead. "Good morning princess."

"Morning Daddy," Emma giggled as he lifted her up in the air again.

"How are you man?" Ross asked, turning his attention to his former college roommate. "Is Westchester treating you well?"

Chandler shrugged. "Same old, same old. The kids are still too young to take them to a Nick's game and Monica's still a neat freak."

"Well that's Monica for you," Ross said and the two men laughed.

Chandler looked around the room to see if Rachel was still around before turning to Ross and giving him a knowing smile. "So… tonight the night, huh?"

Ross smiled. "It sure is. I got the ring right here," he said, patting his pocket.

"You know, I'm not one to judge by why haven't you done this sooner? I mean you guys went three years without getting into any major fights so I don't see why you didn't think of proposing earlier."

He shrugged. "I don't know, I guess we both kind of agreed that we didn't need to get married for us to be together, but I've always known she's wanted a ring and truthfully, I've always wanted to give her one."

"Oh, we all know how much you love doing that," Chandler joked, earning a glare from him. "Ok, ok, but in all seriousness I'm really happy for you guys. After everything you've been through it's about time you tied the knot."

"Yeah I know." Ross looked down at his daughter who was snuggled up against his chest and smiled. Like Rachel, she's always loved attention and sometimes even fought over him with her mother. "You think she'll be able to tell a difference?"

"I think so. She's a lot smarter than most two year-olds."

"Well her father does have a PhD…"

"We didn't call you doctor before and we're not starting now."

Ross laughed and handed Emma back over to her uncle. "Thanks again Chandler, I owe you one."

"Nah, don't worry about it. Just have a good anniversary."

He nodded and smiled before leaning down and placing another kiss on Emma's head. "Bye Emms, Daddy and Mommy will see you in the morning."

"Bye bye!" the little girl waved as Chandler carried her out the door. Ross blew her a kiss and watched as she disappeared down the hall before shutting the door.

When he turned around he spotted Rachel staring at him from the bedroom doorway, dressed in a small white shirt and blue skinny jeans that showed off her legs. Ross looked at her from across the living room and didn't even make an attempt not to stare. She still had that power to completely take his breath away and sometimes he couldn't believe he ended up with someone so beautiful like her.

"Ready to go?" she asked, sauntering towards the front door and purposely swinging her hips.

"Don't tease me Green or we'll never leave this apartment…" he answered, putting on his jacket and helping her put on hers.

She laughed and turned around, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too. But seriously, let's go, I'm starving."

She laughed as she opened the door, and with that they left hand in hand, starting their anniversary off the right way.

…

The day had passed by pretty quickly but neither of them were complaining. Most of their time had been spent with romantic walks in the park and shopping… among other things. They had attempted to continue their act from the morning a few more times throughout the day but found that it was almost impossible for either of them to resist kissing or holding the other. And so, they had found their fingers interlocked with each other wherever they went and short little kisses were given every few minutes just to remind them of how much they loved each other.

Dinner also came and gone by smoothly as their yearly visit to Amélie was just as delicious as the other years. Of course François was still there, serving them all the best dishes as well as wishing them a happy anniversary with a toast. Later when the bill came by, the couple split the price evenly as Rachel had refused to let him pay after that first year.

And by the time they reached their special place at the top of their hill, the Sun had already set and the stars had come out in full flight. The moon shone brightly above in the dark night sky and with the gentle breeze swirling in the air, everything was perfect, just as it has every year.

Ross sat leaning against the large tree trunk with Rachel comfortably in his lap, their fingers intertwined over her stomach as they watched the stars twinkle above them. Soft music played in the background, now fit with all of _their_ songs as they sat together under the stars. From time to time she'd tilt her head back, asking for a kiss, in which he'd gladly give to her. 'I love you's were also shared once in a while but truthfully they really didn't need to say it to know how the other one felt. Just the fact that they were both there together already said enough.

Suddenly a shooting star shot across the night sky and they both watched the comet fly by in the blink of an eye.

"Quick make a wish," Ross whispered into her ear.

Rachel just smiled, turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck. "But I already have everything I want."

Ross leaned forward and kissed her passionately. When they broke he stared into her blue eyes and caressed her cheek softly.

"Happy anniversary sweetie."

"Happy anniversary," she repeated, pulling him in for another kiss. This one was held much longer as they were both willing to deepen the kiss and let their lips move on their own. So much love and passion was put into their kiss and the world around them seemed to disappear.

All of a sudden the song in the background changed and Rachel broke the kiss, catching her breath while giving him a strange look.

"What?" he asked, also breathing heavily.

"This isn't one of our songs."

"I know, I added it in."

Rachel closed her eyes and listened to the melodic tune, recognizing it as Frank Sinatra's The Way You Look Tonight sang by Fred Astaire. She opened her eyes and gave him the same strange look. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the song or that it wasn't good, it's just that all their songs had a special meaning for them and this just wasn't one of them… or so she thought.

"Ross why did you add this song?"

"Because I wanted to do this…" And with that, before she could even comprehend what was going on, he gently lifted her off his lap, standing her up, and going down on one knee right in front of her.

It took a moment for her brain to catch up to all that was happening but as soon as she realized what he was doing, her eyes began to tear up.

"Oh my God…" she gasped, looking down at the man who had so much love in his eyes her heart melted completely.

"Rachel the reason why I chose this song is because years ago I was going to propose to you with this very song playing in the background," he explained, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small blue velvet box which contained the beautiful two carat diamond engagement ring she had found years ago. "And this… this is the ring I wanted to propose to you with and is the same ring I'm proposing to you with now."

Tears streamed down her cheek as she stared at the ring. She had thought it was beautiful the moment she found it in his drawer but now that she was being proposed to with it, it was 10 times more beautiful. The moonlight seemed to illuminate the diamond at the perfect angle to make it glimmer elegantly in the night, and she couldn't believe she was being proposed to by something so incredible. But she had to get something off her chest first.

Rachel bent down on her knees, wiping away the tears from her eyes and holding onto his hands. "Ross, I need to tell you something…"

"That you found the ring in my drawer that day we cleaned the apartment? That you knew about my proposal after Chandler told you? I know Rachel, I know," he said, his smile not leaving his face. "But it all doesn't matter Rachel. None of it does. I want to propose to you with this ring and only this ring because after everything we've been through in the past, I want to finally put that all behind us. So the past will remain in the past but our history will always be with us in the present, and the future."

Rachel nodded and stood back up, her eyes beginning to water again. This time he took her hands in his, looking into her eyes and never losing eye contact as she didn't dare look away either.

"Rachel, you and I have been through so much together. I still remember that day you ran into Central Perk in your wedding gown, but what you didn't know was that right before you came in I had said that all I wanted was to be married again, and now I want to make that true." She laughed softly as he continued.

"You're the love of my life Rachel; you always have and always will be. Even when I used to say that I didn't have feelings for you anymore, I always knew that I'd never get over you. You're the sweetest, nicest, most caring and compassionate person I know. You're so beautiful and you don't even know it and I can't imagine one minute of my life without you. I love you so much Rachel, and like I said three years ago, I will never forget it. You've taken my heart and my soul the moment you walked into that coffee shop. Rachel Karen Green, will you marry me?"

"Oh Ross…" she cried, crouching back down to his height. "Ross, you have no idea how much I love you. I love you so, so much. Honestly I've never gotten over you either because there's never been anyone in my life like you. You're the only one who's ever truly touched my heart and shown me what true love is, and three years ago when you saved me in that car crash, I knew from that moment on I'd never love anyone more than I love you. You're everything I ever wanted and everything I will ever need. I love you so much. Yes, yes I will marry you!"

Tears began falling from his eyes as well as he gently slipped the engagement ring on her finger. As soon as it was on, Ross stood up and swept her up into a deep kiss, their first as an engaged couple. All of their feelings and happiness was poured inside that kiss as they expressed their love for one another the only way they knew how. Their tears slid down their cheeks and mixed together to form small little heart-shaped tears as from this moment on, they would no longer be _Ross_ and _Rachel_ but they would be Ross and Rachel. One entity, one heart and one mind. One love, and one amazing future together.

After what felt like eternity, they finally broke apart to catch some air as they remained in their tight embrace.

"Oh, Emma's going to be so happy," Rachel pointed out.

"I know, and she'll be even happier when she finds out that she can be the flower girl."

"She's going to look so beautiful in her dress."

"Well I know someone who's going to look even more beautiful in hers," he smiled and she smiled back, touching foreheads with his.

They remained in that position for a while, swaying to the music with With or Without You playing in the back. Rachel sighed softly; hugging him tighter, if that was even possible. She never wanted to let this man go because she knew that he'd never let her go.

"Ross," she said suddenly, making him open his eyes. "I think I know where we can have our wedding."

"Really? Where?" he asked, raising and eyebrow.

Rachel smiled and looked around her. "How about right here? Exactly a year from now, right here, in our special place."

Ross looked around and smiled as well, leaning down and kissing her softly on the lips. "I think it's perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Perfect," he repeated and their lips joined together once again.

"I love you," she whispered once they broke.

Ross smiled and leaned forward. "I love you more," he whispered into her ear and with that, she quickly pulled him down for another kiss.

They both had said it.

Everything was perfect.

…

 **Author's Note: And that will conclude** _ **Forgetful Love**_ **. I hope you all enjoyed as much as I had enjoyed writing it. Be sure to leave a review before you leave as even though the story's over, I'd love to hear your feedback.**

 **I also want to thank everyone who has supported me throughout this story. Whether it be the lack of R &R stories currently or that my writing was decent enough for you to read through it, I was amazed at how much positive feedback I got. Thank you to all those who took the time to leave a review for me as it definitely helped motivate me in continuing. Special thanks goes out to Soumi97 and Sylvannas, two people who really helped me out in pretty much every aspect of this story. Be sure to go check out their stories as well (if they have any :p). **

**Thanks again for all the support guys. I'll be starting a new story in a couple days so be sure to follow my account for any updates on that.**

 **Thanks again, and I'll see you all next time.**

 **~FE**


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